catwoman, I'm new here too and a single mom AND I have a ds who is 10 diagnosis with depression and anxiety. How I handled my church situation is that I got up in front of the congregation and I told everyone the truth about my son's diagnosis and tx. My son does not steal from me, (except to take food,) but he is violent toward me and sometimes acts up at church. He often lays down in a pew and reads a book or even falls asleep. He sometimes sits in the corner of the sanctuary and refuses to sit in a pew. I have given up trying to force him to go to religious ed, but I will force him to come to church with me. It is my safe haven and my spiritual uplift so ds has to go when I go!
It was really hard to get up in front and tell the truth. I became emotional even though I had the whole speech planned out. There were members of the church who were very surprised to hear what I had to say. They thought that ds was just being "bad." One man in particular had tried to help me out by intimidating ds into sitting up in the pew. He even prodded him a few times. I could tell that man was really listening to what I had to say. Four individuals came up to me afterward to thank me for saying what I did.
As far as meal times go I'm not sure exactly what you are referring to, but it might be something you can save yourself a lot of grief on by just giving him what he likes. My kids ate nothing but chicken nuggets and french fries, (baked at home,) for 8 or 9 months. Oh, they also would eat peas.
Bed time - ds has taken melatonin to help him sleep, (insomnia.) It's a natural herbal remedy, so it may just be a placebo effect. I am not a medical doctor and I know nothing about drug interactions so you should check it out with your son's doctor first.