Hi everyone, I'm new here. I've poked around a little over the past couple of weeks, a little freaked out by some of the things I've read, afraid to jump in. But I'm feeling pretty much at the end of my skill set with my 13 yo son (tentatively diagnosis: ODD, maybe ADHD). I need help!!!
The main problem is my son's extreme anger--a hair-trigger temper, extreme reactions to relatively negative situations, usually involving not getting his way, and blood-curdling, obscene, very personal verbal abuse, mostly directed at me. Lately also destructive behavior. He's been involved in family therapy for a few months, mostly focused on my daughter R (depression/anxiety, on Prozac, doing great now). I don't think our shrink gets how severe the problem is, so I'm really frustrated and don't know what to do next. I'm having a hard time not taking it personally--I'm vulnerable to clinical depression and I'm feeling myself sliding in that direction.
My son W had a lot of tantrums as a little kid but has otherwise always been loving, funny and sweet. Seems like the tantrums/outbursts always came in cycles--a couple of months at a time. This latest cycle--six months or so--has been very long and extreme. In between outbursts W is pretty normal, funny, huggy. He's not hostile 24/7.
I'm feeling like a complete failure and a terrible mom. And I feel a mixture of resentment and deep sadness about W. Sometimes I get so exhausted (like NOW!) that I feel like giving up and sending him to live with his dad (a whole other set of problems there) but I'm scared to death he's going to get worse and become violent (not to mention even more unhappy).
I've seen "The Explosive Child" mentioned a couple of times, I plan to pick it up at the library.
Anyway, that's us in a nutshell.
The main problem is my son's extreme anger--a hair-trigger temper, extreme reactions to relatively negative situations, usually involving not getting his way, and blood-curdling, obscene, very personal verbal abuse, mostly directed at me. Lately also destructive behavior. He's been involved in family therapy for a few months, mostly focused on my daughter R (depression/anxiety, on Prozac, doing great now). I don't think our shrink gets how severe the problem is, so I'm really frustrated and don't know what to do next. I'm having a hard time not taking it personally--I'm vulnerable to clinical depression and I'm feeling myself sliding in that direction.
My son W had a lot of tantrums as a little kid but has otherwise always been loving, funny and sweet. Seems like the tantrums/outbursts always came in cycles--a couple of months at a time. This latest cycle--six months or so--has been very long and extreme. In between outbursts W is pretty normal, funny, huggy. He's not hostile 24/7.
I'm feeling like a complete failure and a terrible mom. And I feel a mixture of resentment and deep sadness about W. Sometimes I get so exhausted (like NOW!) that I feel like giving up and sending him to live with his dad (a whole other set of problems there) but I'm scared to death he's going to get worse and become violent (not to mention even more unhappy).
I've seen "The Explosive Child" mentioned a couple of times, I plan to pick it up at the library.
Anyway, that's us in a nutshell.