Have you been eating more sugar? I notice increases in both frequency and severity of hot flashies when I have eaten sugar. The more sugar, the worse the flashies are.
I agree with the black cohosh, but I would add B complex.
Valerian root can be helpful if you are having trouble sleeping.
During the worst of it, I practically lived on Pamprin. Diuretic, mood elevator, acetaminophen. I no longer need to use it, but boy, there was a time....
During menopause, I developed allergic reactions to wheat, dairy, corn, chocolate, and coffee and tea. If you are feeling bloated, are retaining fluid, or are short of breath, try eliminating the foods you eat the most of. (Seriously!) For me, that was pasta, cheese, cookies, chocolate, and coffee. My diet now contains none of the above items ~ and when I do cheat, I become miserable pretty quickly.
If you can begin looking at diet, if you begin jotting daily symptoms, including how you are sleeping, whether the flashies are worse or better, what your fluid retention levels are, whether you feel short of breath or not...I think you can get a handle on things. What I found is that these changes were cyclic. How and whether I could sleep (or not stay awake!) was cyclic. I have not had an actual period in two years, but I continue to experience greater or lesser problems on a cyclic basis ~ though nothing like what it was.
I did have PMS. I think those of us with PMS or PMDD have a tougher menopause.
Wishing well.
Barbara