How Has Your difficult child Affected Your Health?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by mom_to_3, Aug 20, 2007.

  1. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    Ugh! I know that I've had great anxiety and depression from time to time as a result of dealing with our difficult child. I just went to my Dr. today to get "help" to get over this latest "round" we just experienced. I just hate that I get to feeling like this, I end up just crying and crying. I can be fine one minute and bawling the next. I am the only one in my family like this. :frown: medications do help me tho. I have thyroid eye disease that I am convinced "flares" when I have great anxiety. It has caused physical damage to my eyes and I am still two years later being treated and trying to correct the damage. I probably have another year to go.

    I found out this morning that my poor easy child's both have mouth ulcers, more commonly known as herpes simplex. One easy child has at least 5 and the other easy child has one. Took both of them to the Dr. today with me for treatment too. They have been very stressed also.

    My husband does feel the effects, but is able to not let it bother him as much as the rest of us....... he say's.

    How has your difficult child affected your health or maybe they haven't?
  2. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Other than high blood pressure,depression, panic and anxiety attacks and reallllyyyy bad IBS flare ups that bring me to my knees cause my system has absolutely done a shut down sometimes, I have no other effects at all from having a difficult child

    I just cannot hear a police helicopter go overhead without jolting out of a sound sleep, nor hear a police siren, or an ambulance, or a police bull horn which is really on the freeway behind the house across the street - I cannot hear the words but my heart absolutely races.. and he hasen't been in trouble for a while now (knocking on wood as I type) I have a police scanner next to my bed just so I can reassure myself that its some other difficult child in deep doo doo, not mine.

    I don't know when I will get my life back from being held hostage from all of the sounds (including yelling) that are connected to difficult child's - probably never. But once in a while, my difficult child will hear the helicopter or police sirens, and call me on the cell at 2 in the morning saying Mom, I know you are probably freaking out -just so you know, they are not after me LOL

  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Since things are OK for me and difficult child right now. I would say my current disappointment in the difficult child life style is - it has AGED me tooooooo much! I am 38 and have been mistaken to be 50! It really is sad to me.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Back issues, anxiety, panic attacks, loss of sleep, and I started smoking two years ago when things were peaking. It bites. Slowly, I've been able to eliminate the panic attacks and much of the anxiety, but I still feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. My back is fine DURING a crisis moment, but the moment I can actually think about it, out it goes! Each time, it's worse than the last. I also sleep better now, but I believe that is due to a dietary change and the fact that I mentally have to talk myself away from feeling overwhelmed in the evening. The smoking, well, I know I have to stop and I try half heartedly, but I will stop. I know that I will stop. I'm at about 3-4 a day.

    Besides my health, it's also done a fair amount of damage to my marriage over the years...but we're also getting better.
  5. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    DR after DR visit. I have gained 50 lbs feeding my emotions. I still struggle daily with fatigue.
    I have bowel problems that are mostly under control now.
    I have had panic attacks to the point of having a nuclear stress test on my heart. Shortness of breath. muscle spasms in my neck, back and legs ~ sometimes at the same time.

    The deepest darkess depression I could ever imagine. Numerous medications that I couldn't tolerate.

    The alienation of friends and family because I couldn't handle having a simple conversation.

    I have my own business and have to work everyday ~ I have been laid up in the bed with stomach pain so bad I couldn't move for days from colon spasms

    All these things came from stress

    I almost allowed my difficult child to destroy my easy child and my marriage

    I also at a dark moment full of guilt sold my barrel horse that I trained and loved as a member of the family and he died 6 mths later with his new owners.

    We have all suffered at the hand of difficult child.

    Now, we are detached and on the road to recovery! easy child, marriage and I am training my colt :smile:
  6. Skylark Matrix

    Skylark Matrix New Member

    Well, I guess I really had 2 difficult child - one ran away 14 years ago. For the past 20 years (at least) I would get a spontanious period anytime there was an upset, heavy bleeding. Had a hysterectomy 2 years ago so that is fixed. Anxiety, depression, stress acne which is large, hard, weeping pimples that last for weeks and are the size of a bean seed, weight gain (I'm a Christian so I don't drink, but I do eat) Loss of memory due to being so wrapped up in the "problems" that I can't comprehend day to day issues, inability to make decisions for myself, afraid of loosing everyone, sad, continuous grieving , worry. This past month rectal spasms - and is that painful --- sleep deprevation. My husband now realizes that he likes to be in the house - for the past 20 years he has worked continually, he to has sleep deprevation up until this past week when the difficult child left. Alienation from friends who don't understand why we can't go to events, can't figure out why we have to "babysit" children over 12 years old. Inability to have normal conversations with normal people about normal kids --- my peers have children who are doing all sorts of fantastic things and mine won't hold a job. I do have one wonderful son talk about, and I am very thankful for that, but always the conversation then turns to how is ______ doing, and what can I say - people don't like hearing the truth and I don't know how to lie.
    I'm sure there is more, but that is the starter.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    DO you really have time?

    The abridged version: Adversely.

    Overall due to the stress my cortisol levels over the years are through the roof and has caused me to be pre-diabetic, and until about 2 weeks ago on a lot of medication. I suffer from 15 migraines a month, my hair is falling out and most recently (last 90 days and 2 weeks)? I've had a stroke, heart attack and was most recently hospitalized because of my 9 day inability to keep even water down.

    I saw an animal planet special recently where the baby bird was reluctant to leave it's nest when the other siblings had flown the coop and the Momma bird just picked that little shaver up by the head and dropped it out of the nest. The narrator said in a hushed tone "If the baby doesn't spread his wings he will surely expire."

    My thoughts? Grab boy by head, toss out front or die. Maybe then I can heal. (long long sigh)

    (In Eeyore tone) I'm fine. Thanks for askin'.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I think I'm suffering from difficult child burn out. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/hot.gif
  9. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I feel the same way about my husband assuming the burden. I assumed the burden for years and it only got worse. He is much better than I am at it. I just enabled and gave it from the pressure. It is easier for me to detach when I am not involved.
  10. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I think difficult child had added more stress to our marriage than to our health. Hysterectomy would of happened regardless. Hot flashes, regardless. The strain on our marriage has been tremendous. Often wondering if it would just be better to go.

    I wonder if we will ever re-connect.
  11. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    General health for me - ok. I am overweight though. Since January of this year, I've lost 30 lbs. Walking and talking to another mom of a difficult child does wonders. Have another 50 lbs for optimal weight. While I don't have medical issues, difficult child makes up for that herself, though. On average, once a month there is an injury, stomach upset, diarrhea, sore throat, headache, vomitting, whatever....that requires a trip to the doctor or pharmacy.