How should I react to this comment by husband on our anniversary?

[DammitJanet]

I agree with Trinity. I would want to know what he meant. Tony can say things wrong. They can come out the wrong way. He means x and they come out Y. I end up either madder than a wet hen or in tears and he is left in total confusion because he cant figure out what he has done wrong now. Or even worse when the words leave his mouth and he goes..."Ohhhhhh noooo, I just did it again!"

I would have been mad and wanted to fling back some cutting remark back at him that would hurt him but I think the appropriate thing is to ask him what he meant.

 

[Star*]

Terry,

In THIS particular situation? I think I would have said nothing. Mostly because I would have been too busy planning my counter attack. So many things come to mind......SO.Darned.MANY.Things. But I've stated before I am inherently evil, clever, sarcastic, and have the patience of Job.

He.Would.Pay.Dearly. PUBLICALLY and COSMETICALLY.

 

[nvts]

I don't know Terry...my AH is always playing the "who's to blame game" on the kids disabilities - "well the Aspergers is from YOUR side of the family" to which I always reply "well, you're 1/2 right about that - the 'burgers' comes from mine, but the beginning of the word comes directly from YOU".

I think I'd just look at him and say "Now we know who the REAL aspie is in the family!" hahahaha!

I wouldn't worry too much about it...the density is between the ears...at least you had a nice dinner and a picture...enjoy it and don't dwell on the negative!

Oh and by the way: Congratulations on your anniversary - 32 years is extremely impressive!

Beth

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you. When people ask how we do it, I usually tell them, "stubborness."

 

[Fran]

Terry, we will be married 30yrs this Dec. and it's always been a relationship that has been kind, funny, and full of mistakes. If husband had said something that sounded hurtful(as if he didn't age right along with me) my eyes would have filled with tears and he would have been devastated. Hopefully, knowing I was hurt and embarrassed by his comments, he would apologize and we could go on enjoying life together.
Saying or doing nothing isn't really communicating. He should know how hurt you were. The idea that in 30yrs you don't age is ridiculous but you are like a fine wine that is better with age.

 

[DDD]

If it is a pattern of behavior or comments I would likely see it as a sign of disrepect or meaningful harm then I'd agree that a discussion is a good idea. on the other hand, if it was a "dumb spontaneous" comment or that was meant to be funny I'd let it go. That's how my husband saw it. He laughed not because it would hurt your feelings...he laughed thinking "the poor son of a gun blew it". All of us step over the line once in awhile. That's what I think your husband did. Look at the photo. Maybe the flash did make you look more like your old self. He loved you then and he loves you now more than likely. DDD