How to pick a decent halfway house

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Elke61, Oct 18, 2016.

  1. Elke61

    Elke61 New Member

    Hello from south florida. It's my first post but I've read through a few threads. My difficult son, 18, is in a court ordered rehab for the next 6 months. 2 months I believe are intensive and then it's more of a halfway house where he's supposed to get a job but still have strict supervision, drug tests, etc. I am going to a 1hour class tonight/ and then another one next week in order to be able to see him once he's far enough along and has earned the privilege of having a visitor. So I've got almost 6 months to prepare for the "not coming home" stance. I believe he should transition to a halfway or sober house of some sort.

    He did a 1 month residential program beginning of the year then went to a halfway house but got kicked out for arguing/ threatening another resident after a few days. My husband and I allowed him to stay in our garage( dusty, on a cement floor in a sleeping bag) temporarily which ended up being on and off for 6 months. We were not allowing him access to family home but we did give him food and occasionally he joined us for a family meal. We found a rehab in tampa that we were waiting for a bed to open up for him but he got into some legal problems and ended up being on probation. I believe he could have worked something out with the court but he didn't pursue that so our offer for rehab was off the table and I felt he needed a longer program. There's a 10 month program that sounded really good, affordable and he declined it. He had to want to go and convince the intake people he wanted it, which he said 10 months was too long.

    So, for now, my thoughts are to check out a few of the halfway houses that are recommended with my son but I felt the last one recommended was good but it was $350/week included meals. That was almost like a setup to fail. How can a kid making $8 hour, work full time, go to AA and iop 3x/ week and meet weekly with a counselor? I do believe that keeping a recovering addict busy is important but unless my husband and I stepped in financially, he would have been unable to make ends meet. I'm hoping with more time to check things that my son might get to pick which one he goes to.

    So, any tips on what makes a good sober house? And do you think it's feasible to have my son involved with the process? I'm preparing my heart now because I can hear the conversation coming up. "I'm 6 months sober. I promise I'll be good mom". I think the best thing for him would be to do a sober/halfway house for 6 months. I'll probably check into iop again. They really educated me and cut through a lot of the bull my son was pulling. I thought he had a drug of choice "pot problem" but was open to trying other things. I was so far off. Any and all drugs was his drug of choice. I do think he's closer and maybe even hitting a bottom. Time will tell.
     
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My son just spent six months in treatment in South Florida. Long story but he never really completed any of them but he is now sharing an apartment and seems ready to turn his life around. In the end, it's really up to them to want to change. Baby steps.

    I can give you the contact information of his house manager in Delray Beach if you are interested. He is a former addict and the person that kept me sane when I had to send my son to an "unknown" place 1300 miles away from home. This person was my angel during a very dark time. I would think he could recommend someplace. My son was in an IOP there and never graduated to sober living.

    Nice that you have so long to plan.

    If interested, PM me.
     
  3. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Good luck! I would strongly suggest you visit..no, reality, most cannot support themselves. Our son went to one that said they could...they push food stamps...he had no car...and bullets were flying down the street, so...after two months, he found a better place...but we had to pay rent, maybe the 30,40 year old guys who had full time jobs could squeak by..but our kid was 19.

    They are businesses..so look between the lines, lots of rules...and find out where your kid will go off he relapses...they usually drop at a shelter. I'm not being negative...just go in with knowledge...we learned the hard way. Our son did stay 5mos...but then we felt he would do more growing at home. Positive...while there they will attend mtgs everyday...

    Good luck..nice you have some time!
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Where my son was it was a safe neighborhood. At least at the one that I PMed to Elke.

    When he relapsed they sent him to another home with a more intense program for 2 weeks also in Delray Beach, then back to the original place. I was very happy with how they handled him.

    Unfortunately my son never finished a program. Hard headed and immature. He is sober right now so maybe he just decided it was time. I don't know. Hard to do without support. But as hard headed as he is, if he really decides he's done, a team of wild horses couldn't change his mind.
     
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  5. JLC

    JLC New Member

    I'm impressed that he has a full time job, no matter how it pays. My daughter relapses every time payday comes. Then she got kicked out of sober living home and lost her job(s). We always pressured her to pay her own rent, but it never worked out like that. She returned to rehab and is now in a very strict and structured halfway house affiliated with the rehab hospital that doesn't allow them to be employed. We'll see if this is any improvement.
     
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