Sanity101
New Member
Background: My 12 year old son has been on Concerta 27mg. I was happy that we had finally found a medication that worked without stopping his appetite during the day (he's small for his age by natural and respiratory steroid reasons). We went through a lot of medications in early elementary years. Then, I quit all medications for a couple of years. During that time, the major issue was anger. We saw a counselor for that. Focus was becoming a big issue again at school, so before middle school this year, we thought we'd give medications a try again. Focalin 10mg made him too sedate. Focalin 5mg was like candy - nothing. Concerta 27mg seemed to work for awhile. Now after talking with the pharmacist because I can't get a hold of the doctor, I'm finding that our new side effects are on the call your doctor and change dose or change medications list of side effects.
Last week, we determined that on the days he took his medicine, he was developing a headache and an irrational response to noise levels. His two youngest siblings would be playing in a barely above a whisper, very reasonable manner in a single room. He would be so bothered by their "noise" that he'd go around yelling at them to shut up, even going into their room and shouting at/hitting them saying they were being loud on purpose to annoy him. This was TOTALLY not the case.
Today - I did not give him his medications. I was going to call the doctor back again, but found they are out due to holiday today. GRRR. He got off the bus and had obviously been asleep on the bus. He came in the door and I politely requested for him to watch his hyper level and behavior since he did not take his pill. He calmly asked if he could go to Wendy's. That's out of the blue. It turned into a discussion that what he really wanted was a chili hot dog. We have hot dogs, but are out of chili. For 30-45 minutes, he was violently demanding that I take him to get a chili hot dog. I made a simple request without acknowledging that I would or would not take him, to put his game down and do his 2 chores. He proceeded to bang doors and kick stuff instead of following directions. It is my opinion that I should not give into a violent behavior request, probably even after all is calmed down? Because wouldn't that just be teaching him that throwing the fit before following the instructions was ok? As of right now, he is finally calmed down without medications, but has not followed instructions yet either. During the fit, I did take his game from him and he does not have it back yet.
Is there anything else I should try? In addition? Instead? What about his request? I have a coupon for a Buy 1 get 1 free chili dog at Sonic. I would gladly have taken him out for a one-on-one night to get it had he simply followed instructions without going into a rage. I feel like he could benefit from that one-on-one time, but don't like for it to follow explosive behavior too often in case he learns to further demand expectations.
Now that he is calm, is it "giving in" or "bribery" to try to repeat the directions explaining that if he follows the instructions without rage or delay, we can go out tonight? Or should I stick to just expecting him to follow the instructions. He's to the point these days where if there's not something in it for him, he refuses to do it. That's not how we raised him to be. It's a fairly recent, new behavior. I'm just not sure what to do about it.
PS - we do have hot dogs, so I could just run to the store to pick up a can of hot dog chili, too. I just don't want to spend gas to do that if it will further promote this behavior.
Thanks
Last week, we determined that on the days he took his medicine, he was developing a headache and an irrational response to noise levels. His two youngest siblings would be playing in a barely above a whisper, very reasonable manner in a single room. He would be so bothered by their "noise" that he'd go around yelling at them to shut up, even going into their room and shouting at/hitting them saying they were being loud on purpose to annoy him. This was TOTALLY not the case.
Today - I did not give him his medications. I was going to call the doctor back again, but found they are out due to holiday today. GRRR. He got off the bus and had obviously been asleep on the bus. He came in the door and I politely requested for him to watch his hyper level and behavior since he did not take his pill. He calmly asked if he could go to Wendy's. That's out of the blue. It turned into a discussion that what he really wanted was a chili hot dog. We have hot dogs, but are out of chili. For 30-45 minutes, he was violently demanding that I take him to get a chili hot dog. I made a simple request without acknowledging that I would or would not take him, to put his game down and do his 2 chores. He proceeded to bang doors and kick stuff instead of following directions. It is my opinion that I should not give into a violent behavior request, probably even after all is calmed down? Because wouldn't that just be teaching him that throwing the fit before following the instructions was ok? As of right now, he is finally calmed down without medications, but has not followed instructions yet either. During the fit, I did take his game from him and he does not have it back yet.
Is there anything else I should try? In addition? Instead? What about his request? I have a coupon for a Buy 1 get 1 free chili dog at Sonic. I would gladly have taken him out for a one-on-one night to get it had he simply followed instructions without going into a rage. I feel like he could benefit from that one-on-one time, but don't like for it to follow explosive behavior too often in case he learns to further demand expectations.
Now that he is calm, is it "giving in" or "bribery" to try to repeat the directions explaining that if he follows the instructions without rage or delay, we can go out tonight? Or should I stick to just expecting him to follow the instructions. He's to the point these days where if there's not something in it for him, he refuses to do it. That's not how we raised him to be. It's a fairly recent, new behavior. I'm just not sure what to do about it.
PS - we do have hot dogs, so I could just run to the store to pick up a can of hot dog chili, too. I just don't want to spend gas to do that if it will further promote this behavior.
Thanks