Shari
IsItFridayYet?
I called easy child 2's mom, S, last night. easy child 2 wanted to stay here this weekend because she wasn't here last weekend (adults only weekend away) and she wants to go to a b-day party at Chuck E. Cheese with difficult child.
***
Normally, most communication with S takes place via email, but I also wanted to talk to her about next weekend, as well. easy child 2 has mentioned if S goes camping at the lake, that she might like to go with them instead of coming to our house, where there's a good chance we aren't going to be doing anything but baling hay. So I just called.
***
The initial reaction to easy child staying here this weekend was "is haites froze over? then heck no!" Then I explained the situation with next weekend and asked her to let me know what their plans were. After the phone call, she softened up a little, and texted that easy child could go with us to the party.
***
But that's not what makes me bad.
***
Little history....S's new hubby got off paying $100 a month child support for THREE kids by having "50/50" custody. However, he doesn't live in the kids school district anymore (he moved in with S in the house her mommy bought for her), and he and S want to work the early shift, so he can't keep the kids overnight during the week. S's mom does everything for easy child 2, but refuses to help with new hubby's kids (they aren't even allowed at her house). And new hubby's mom got tired of the kids being dumped on her (she has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)), so his "50/50" custody ends up being 4-8pm on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and 4pm Friday to 8pm Sunday every other weekend. For a while, S and new hubby went away on the weekends they didn't have kids, and volunteered to work on the Saturdays that they did have kids, so when new hubby's mom refused to watch the kids anymore, they were sending all the kids, including easy child 2 half the time, back to new hubby's ex'es while they worked those Saturdays. Sound "50/50" to you? Me, either. To top that off, new hubby's ex filed a complaint with child support enforcement about even getting her $100 a month.
***
So...I have been so hung up on paying for and taking easy child to this tutoring while that woman sits over there, having never really had to parent either of her kids....well, her new hubby's ex is sticking it to her. I don't know all the exact details, but apparently, S doesn't just have new hubby's kids every weekend, she has them all week every week, too! And its not cause new hubby's ex is sick or in jail or anything like that, she's just not picking them up. Of course, there could be extenuating circumstances, but from the way S talked last night, new hubby's ex is just giving them their fair due, and I am bad, because I am rolling about it. She took her little summer off, and instead of getting summer off, she's having to be a stay at home mom for SOMEONE ELSE'S THREE KIDS. She hates having her own ONE kid around too much of the time, I can't imagine how she is with three that aren't hers...
***
So smack me, because its wrong to be happy about this, but the woman is having to be a parent and is LOATHING it. And somehow, its making it a little easier for me to swallow doing the right thing for easy child 2, knowing that at least for SOME kid, this woman is having to do SOMETHING. Even if new hubby is doing all the parenting, the money for supporting 3 kids at the grocery store is still flying out of her collective wallet, cause I doubt her mom will even buy groceries for those kids.
***
Like I said, it is so incredibally wrong of me, but her princess life has been interrupted by a little bit of reality. And that needed to happen. It would just be nice if she'll learn something about stepping up to the plate for easy child 2 from it, but I'm not holding my breath.
***
Normally, most communication with S takes place via email, but I also wanted to talk to her about next weekend, as well. easy child 2 has mentioned if S goes camping at the lake, that she might like to go with them instead of coming to our house, where there's a good chance we aren't going to be doing anything but baling hay. So I just called.
***
The initial reaction to easy child staying here this weekend was "is haites froze over? then heck no!" Then I explained the situation with next weekend and asked her to let me know what their plans were. After the phone call, she softened up a little, and texted that easy child could go with us to the party.
***
But that's not what makes me bad.
***
Little history....S's new hubby got off paying $100 a month child support for THREE kids by having "50/50" custody. However, he doesn't live in the kids school district anymore (he moved in with S in the house her mommy bought for her), and he and S want to work the early shift, so he can't keep the kids overnight during the week. S's mom does everything for easy child 2, but refuses to help with new hubby's kids (they aren't even allowed at her house). And new hubby's mom got tired of the kids being dumped on her (she has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD)), so his "50/50" custody ends up being 4-8pm on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and 4pm Friday to 8pm Sunday every other weekend. For a while, S and new hubby went away on the weekends they didn't have kids, and volunteered to work on the Saturdays that they did have kids, so when new hubby's mom refused to watch the kids anymore, they were sending all the kids, including easy child 2 half the time, back to new hubby's ex'es while they worked those Saturdays. Sound "50/50" to you? Me, either. To top that off, new hubby's ex filed a complaint with child support enforcement about even getting her $100 a month.
***
So...I have been so hung up on paying for and taking easy child to this tutoring while that woman sits over there, having never really had to parent either of her kids....well, her new hubby's ex is sticking it to her. I don't know all the exact details, but apparently, S doesn't just have new hubby's kids every weekend, she has them all week every week, too! And its not cause new hubby's ex is sick or in jail or anything like that, she's just not picking them up. Of course, there could be extenuating circumstances, but from the way S talked last night, new hubby's ex is just giving them their fair due, and I am bad, because I am rolling about it. She took her little summer off, and instead of getting summer off, she's having to be a stay at home mom for SOMEONE ELSE'S THREE KIDS. She hates having her own ONE kid around too much of the time, I can't imagine how she is with three that aren't hers...
***
So smack me, because its wrong to be happy about this, but the woman is having to be a parent and is LOATHING it. And somehow, its making it a little easier for me to swallow doing the right thing for easy child 2, knowing that at least for SOME kid, this woman is having to do SOMETHING. Even if new hubby is doing all the parenting, the money for supporting 3 kids at the grocery store is still flying out of her collective wallet, cause I doubt her mom will even buy groceries for those kids.
***
Like I said, it is so incredibally wrong of me, but her princess life has been interrupted by a little bit of reality. And that needed to happen. It would just be nice if she'll learn something about stepping up to the plate for easy child 2 from it, but I'm not holding my breath.