hi to everyone,
so it's not a difficult child issue. not directly anyhow. sure it's hard being her parent at times, i adore her so but it's stressful. i've left my job due to her condition trying to start a paralegal business from home. it just makes me be that more creative with how to even make money.
so here is what i could use some thoughts on, if you don't mind it's a personal issue yet i've come to trust here the thougts and advice and i don't think i could of managed as well as ihave with difficult child without it to be quite frank.
so, my fiance and i decided to get married last week in august. we have some history. he's made some misktakes in our relationship. i will try to keep this brief.
when we began let's just add he was a divorcee from an 18 year marriage and 3 kids his ex turned gay suddenly, hard working guy he killed himself she stayed home with kids.
we met pretty much fell in love, p.s. we moved in together. adjustment's gone extremely well with all our kids. so he had a long standing friendship with a woman with whom was his ex's best friend. he admitted there was some attraction there, etc. he said they spoke on occassion no big deal when we met. i came to find after moving in they were texting alot i knew because yup unhealthy me checked his phone. so she'd call him sunshine, say good morning and good nite and they flirted with eachother a whole lot. i confronted him, we spoke of it i was ready to bolt. he said repeatedly how it meant nothing, etc. and he'd stop it. this carried on for 5 mos. till it finally ended or so i thought. there were some normal texts in there as well about kids, life, etc. so he said he'd have a difficult time giving up the friendship yet i put my foot down and said hello you are flirting with her, that's ridiculous you ruined your opportunity to talk to her as a friend.
months pass our relationship is blooming tremendously we have a great tiem together he convinces he to let's just say face alot of my inner demons, pays for difficult child's medical testing or lays money out i'm trying to get reimbursement thru insurance stands behind me while i quit job.
so we tell our kids last night that we are getting married. me i'm petrified for those who know me i have issues that ihave been working on huge committment issues also. yet kids react well, it's all good. i notice him stressed and i say what's up his response i'm just overwhelmed it's normal i'm scared i love you and i'm happy though. so he's in bathroom way too long last night before bed i sense something's up yet he says nothing. my gut tells me he's texting her again.
sure enogh i check his phone this a.m. very unhealthy and wrong of me. and there it is he was texting her. how his ex hurt him with some of the stuff she sadi to him yesterday that i didn't even know about, how he's feeling overwhelmed her last text to him is goodnight sunshine love ya.
so i confront him again. he says she is my friend and i am sorry it happened i probably should of reached out to someone else. i said yup. then he said your wrong for touching my phone i agree whole heartedly yet say hey it's the only way i can know what's going on with you that isn't healty your like a little jigsaw puzzle to me at times.
so now i sit wtih this knowing that moving forward she is gonig to be part of his life, i cannot ask him to give up a friend of 18 years even if she caused me great stress in the beginning with her flirtacious texts, and all.
so do i a. run for the hills in time once i save up money adn get business going
or b. call this woman set up a mtg. and learn to accept her presence in his world and not be threatened by it.
or c. am i just crazy?? LOL
ok i know that was long. probably not the right topic for this great place. yet i trust in here and i need some thoughts.
THANKS
Jen
so it's not a difficult child issue. not directly anyhow. sure it's hard being her parent at times, i adore her so but it's stressful. i've left my job due to her condition trying to start a paralegal business from home. it just makes me be that more creative with how to even make money.
so here is what i could use some thoughts on, if you don't mind it's a personal issue yet i've come to trust here the thougts and advice and i don't think i could of managed as well as ihave with difficult child without it to be quite frank.
so, my fiance and i decided to get married last week in august. we have some history. he's made some misktakes in our relationship. i will try to keep this brief.
when we began let's just add he was a divorcee from an 18 year marriage and 3 kids his ex turned gay suddenly, hard working guy he killed himself she stayed home with kids.
we met pretty much fell in love, p.s. we moved in together. adjustment's gone extremely well with all our kids. so he had a long standing friendship with a woman with whom was his ex's best friend. he admitted there was some attraction there, etc. he said they spoke on occassion no big deal when we met. i came to find after moving in they were texting alot i knew because yup unhealthy me checked his phone. so she'd call him sunshine, say good morning and good nite and they flirted with eachother a whole lot. i confronted him, we spoke of it i was ready to bolt. he said repeatedly how it meant nothing, etc. and he'd stop it. this carried on for 5 mos. till it finally ended or so i thought. there were some normal texts in there as well about kids, life, etc. so he said he'd have a difficult time giving up the friendship yet i put my foot down and said hello you are flirting with her, that's ridiculous you ruined your opportunity to talk to her as a friend.
months pass our relationship is blooming tremendously we have a great tiem together he convinces he to let's just say face alot of my inner demons, pays for difficult child's medical testing or lays money out i'm trying to get reimbursement thru insurance stands behind me while i quit job.
so we tell our kids last night that we are getting married. me i'm petrified for those who know me i have issues that ihave been working on huge committment issues also. yet kids react well, it's all good. i notice him stressed and i say what's up his response i'm just overwhelmed it's normal i'm scared i love you and i'm happy though. so he's in bathroom way too long last night before bed i sense something's up yet he says nothing. my gut tells me he's texting her again.
sure enogh i check his phone this a.m. very unhealthy and wrong of me. and there it is he was texting her. how his ex hurt him with some of the stuff she sadi to him yesterday that i didn't even know about, how he's feeling overwhelmed her last text to him is goodnight sunshine love ya.
so i confront him again. he says she is my friend and i am sorry it happened i probably should of reached out to someone else. i said yup. then he said your wrong for touching my phone i agree whole heartedly yet say hey it's the only way i can know what's going on with you that isn't healty your like a little jigsaw puzzle to me at times.
so now i sit wtih this knowing that moving forward she is gonig to be part of his life, i cannot ask him to give up a friend of 18 years even if she caused me great stress in the beginning with her flirtacious texts, and all.
so do i a. run for the hills in time once i save up money adn get business going
or b. call this woman set up a mtg. and learn to accept her presence in his world and not be threatened by it.
or c. am i just crazy?? LOL
ok i know that was long. probably not the right topic for this great place. yet i trust in here and i need some thoughts.
THANKS
Jen