I did something bad but it felt soooo good!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! All of the little darlings who are constantly the focus of my life went back to school today after a week of mid-winter break. I was sooo sorry to see them get on the bus (ok, so I was doing a jig in the front yard...St. Patricks Day is only 3 weeks away...I have a good excuse!).

    I went to a meeting today to listen to a gentleman speak about a Charter School that they are going to start in Sept. 2009. A bulletin went out all over the island to ask parents of 4th graders to attend if they were interested. The charter school is going to be from 6th to 12th grade for kids who are academically capable of a College Prep program, but their behavior is preventing them from performing to their potential.

    Sounds great, right?

    Ok, stay with me. This is the part where I was evil.

    This gentleman is trying to discuss this with the 10, yes I said 10 people who showed up when this obnoxious, know it all, pain in the pants woman shows up (late!) and starts cross-examining him about EVERYTHING!!! We hadn't even gotten a potential location out of this guy and she starts ripping him a new one!!!

    The 10 polite people are sitting and watching this nightmare (she's got a reputation for doing this!) attack this guy about everything he's said so far.

    He tried to politely defend himself explaining that this was a simple "hey this is what we've tried to put together and we need to check to see if there's enough interest" type of meeting and that he'd gladly discuss her questions after the meeting.

    She's one of those loud mouths that speaks to show how "smart" she is.

    Well, everyone is getting more and more uncomfortable and more and more annoyed at this "hijacking" of the meeting.

    I confess: I lost my patience.

    I calmly said "Excuse me. But my time as well as these other people's time, is limited. Would you kindly let this gentleman speak so that we can get the information that WE came to get". She started going off about "methodology" and then started throwing around 10 dollar words, names of curriculums, the New England Journal of Academia, and I lost it.

    I calmly said "Excuse me. But we're all very proud of the fact that you know so much more than we do, but again...we'd like to know about some of the more pertinent things to us and our children, you know, important like "North Shore or South" while spinning back around to the gentleman in a "you're dismissed" type of gesture toward the evil woman.

    I must say the applause were greatly appreciated! As it turns out, one of the people there was a woman that I interviewed with 2 years ago for a job that they lost the funding for. She asked me if it was ok to keep my resume since they might have funding at the end of the year!

    So to recap:

    In one day I managed to: get my kids off to school after a week's vacation, get one of the most feared women in Special Education to shut her yap (which according to 3 of the attendees that they've NEVER seen her do!), and possibly land a job at the end of the year.

    Smokin'!!! lol!

  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Dear Beth,

    I want to be you when I grow up.

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    So why do you feel you did something bad? Well done, it takes courage but you did a GOOD thing. You got the meeting back on track, you cut through the distraction factor of an attention-seeker with her own agenda, and you possibly even saved this program from being dumped due to the apparently strong vocal opposition (from one person).

    Too often, people do not speak up when they should. I am one who speaks up (or tries to) but I do admit, I will only speak up if I feel I need to add to the information, AND I feel others there are uncertain or reluctant. There are often times when I COULD speak up purely to enjoy being disruptive (I haven't done that since I was at school); I recognise the temptation, but it is important to listen to your own motives first, before shooting your mouth off. When you speak, you also need to listen, and to also give other people a chance to express THEIR views also - sounds like this woman only wanted to hear the sound of her own voice.

    And I'll tell you a secret - those big words she is throwing around, she may not be as knowledgeable as she wants you to think. A truly educated person will NOT use jargon, they will be able to explain it simply and effectively. A person who chooses to use jargon, especially at a public meeting which includes lay people, is deliberately trying to make themselves seem important, and belittle everyone else (and especially everyone else's opinion).

    Not knowing the jargon does NOT make you lacking in intelligence, nor does it mean you lack practical understanding of the topic. it just means that your knowledge comes from personal experience rather than from out of a textbook. It sounds to me like she's done some reading, maybe picked up a few big words, may even work as an educator in some way, but still will be lacking a great deal of the broader understanding that you can only get not only with hands on experience, but when you also LISTEN to other people and how they're coping (as happens, on this site).

    This bloke was there to explain some plans, some ideas to you all, and to get feedback on this. She sounds like she was spouting theory from one particular viewpoint, which frankly doesn't sound relevant to the agenda.

    And you succeeded in shutting her up - if she REALLY knew her stuff, if she REALLY felt that this proposal was damaging, a waste of resources etc, she would not have shut up. She sounds like a paper tiger - looks scary, intimidating and roars authoritatively, but is completely lacking in substance and is in fact a total fraud.

    Next time she turns up and starts throwing words around, ask her to define the terms for those present who have not had the benefit of more administrative experience. Then ask her to explain the relevance of what she is saying - in what way do her words actually APPLY to the topic at hand?

    I wouldn't be surprised if, in the future, she sees you at a meeting and decides to not make a scene.

    You did a good thing. Well and truly. Those other ten people, and the speaker, would have wanted to kiss the ground you walked on. Just don't let it go to your head or you risk turning into That Woman!

  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    You Go Girl!!!:cutie_pie:

    That PITA sounds EXACTLY like my sister. If she's in the room, she only wants to hear her thoughts and voice. It's very aggravating to say the least!

    You done good~:bravo:
  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity


    You rock - that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I hope I can be just like you one day!!!!
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Not wonder you're being re-considered for a job. Putting a rude obnoxious person in their place and getting them to close their mouth tactfully is becoming a lost art.

    Good for you for not allowing this woman to ruin the meeting for everyone else.

  7. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Some days just come together......wow......hope you have many more.......
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Way To Go Nvts!
    Not evil at all. Marg said it best. You shut down the attention seeker, allowed the other 10 people in the meeting to get the information they needed, and may have landed yourself a job to boot.

    A three-fer. Excellent!

  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Way To Go, Beth!!! Being assertive is never bad! Get that out of your head right now. Why doesn't that arrogant, off-track woman go home and think about the bad stuff SHE's done?
    Congrats. You deserve mucho kudos.
  10. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Hey nutty :)

    I agree with Marg: you did nothing wrong. People like this woman are a bane to necessary civil discourse. They are more interested in establishing themselves, their doctrines, and their opinions as "right" than they are in allowing groups of people to reach a consensus that is acceptable to all.

    I'd also bet good money that there was another agenda at work in her diatribe. In my experience, when things like this happen there's usually something else in play as well, in the shadows where it's hard to see....

    Putting her in her place was not bad; it was necessary, and I hope you continue to do it. And be proud of it. I'm sure the others there were only too happy to see you swat this gadfly so you could all get back to serious work.

    And, for a small soapbox moment...

    [soapbox] I also thank you for a different reason: standing up to a political/ideological bully. I hope that more people like you, in other areas and walks of life will continue to stand up to the "one" so that the "many" can benefit. We need to see more, not less, of this in our society. Please keep it up![/soapbox]

  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    All that AND you cook, and take care of a lizard????

    you totally rock!
  12. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    You rock!
  13. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! Thanks you all for the kind words! My lil' sister was in stitches when I told her about it. I have to admit, I felt like the scene in "Field of Dreams" when Costner's wife took on the book burning chick "come on Beulah, you nazi cow"!

    By the way Mikey, I love the monicker "nutty"; it's what I call my little buddy, difficult child 2! Thanks for that! :D

    I will chase anyone politely away for free ~ I can't stand it when someone bullies the masses just to get the last word. Her passive/aggressive demeanor has derailed so many different meetings/projects/symposiums that there are actually people that have quit voluntary positions on various education councils because she makes their lives a living hell.

    Thanks for the reassurance! You folks are the best!!!

  14. Mikey

    Mikey Psycho Gorilla Dad

    Re: "nutty". I'm guessing that "NVTS" is a moniker for "nuts", hence the squirrel?

  15. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Ahhh, I think you're the first one that's "gotten" it! Mel Brooks is one of my absolute favorite Directors. In the movie "History of the World" they were in Roman times and he said to one of the characters "those guys are driving me absolutely nuts! N-V-T-S, nuts".

    It just seemed appropriate! :laughing:

  16. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    The squirrel IS a bit of a giveaway... I didn't know about the Mel Brooks connection, but I did get the "nuts" bit. I just thought someone else had bagged "nUts".

  17. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Now would you be available for a quarterly staffing for the tweedles on the 5th of March? I could certainly use you for that meeting.

    You should be proud of yourself! :bigsmile: