C
Confused
Guest
Hi everyone. I just wanted to sum it all up and tell everyone here good luck and I want to give advice, but how can I when I can't handle my own. Thank you all for looking and or responding to my threads. Im still blaming myself for my sons and now my daughters behavior. My son really was terrible twos at a year and half, totally changing by age 3yrs.(for the worst) My daughter was just spoiled but improved. But now not only is my son in his own "his way or no way" my daughter is being the same. I try to not be too strict or too "giving in" all the time. We all went out yesterday to 2 stores and out to Village Inn. Other kids from babies to a 6 year old were there, a little jumpy in the seats but very well behaved. My son had to keep getting up,turning around,laying on the bench ( we had a big booth just the 4 of us), arguing he was hungry, he wanted to go(just got there) while me telling him they are full, it will take a little longer ,color, lets talk. I then pointed out how the other little kids were behaving"see the other kids". I know comparing is bad but at this point if I point it out maybe he will "see" how he is supose to act. At the mall, a little girl was hold her daddys hand in the parking lot, my son thought it was ok to "run" around!My daughter has to do paino lessons in order for her great grandfather (his rule) to pay for her private school.Been 3 years now? She hates it but insists on staying in her school. We argue about that, and that besides basically behaving and a little cleaning her mess and taking care of her gerbils/fish is her only responsiblity as is my sons( except the piano). My dad and I fight over the kids,my kids and us yell, which is no good. My daughter is really,really bad lately and on top of my sons deffiance, no job ( who will watch him when I do work, no one wants too and daycare issues/cost arise as well) is just alot to take in. One of my "friends" was upset because my father was too ill to drive(,chest pain/split toungue open) to her daughters function. I was nervous of leaving my dad alone as well as it got too late to leave. So this put a strain on her daughter/my daughters relationship as well. It seems as if its all building up. I have said things I regret"go live with your dad im done" and " told them their being horrible when they get this bad". Its wrong. Their dad and his friends drink soooooooo much, he drives buzzd/drunk as they do,they get violent on eachother( the adults) so I put a stop to alcohol being with their dad and his friends/parties and although I dont drink, a few of my friends do, as well at some of the kids friends birthday parties, I have to follow the same rule. My Uncle drinks, they do not go around because I follow the same rule and he always gets buzzed/drunk. I cant show the kids his arrest record as well as his friends, it wouldnt be right and thats what my kids can do when they are 18 years old.They know they drink and I told them they get violent. Their fathers other kids saw his ex hit him while drunk. So, its just extreme on my part so Im thinking of lifting it, just to make my kids happy and stop the arguments on why cant they stay at their friends parties if they drink. I explained if they want to drink in modertation when they are 21, thats fine,explained how it can make them feel etc. I feel like a fool,overprotective and just dumb I guess. Oh, and he/they approve of giving the kids alcohol!Im sorry this is so long. Well, my father has my kids so I can have a break from it, so Im going to relax while I have the chance.Oh , my sons tantrums are a lot less in length but still over anything and still biting hismself most of the time,slamming doors and his same ol deffiance. But my father gives in and takes him out to play even in hot /windy wheather an dgets the icecream truck almost daily just to avoid tantrums. Still not good to do, I been trying to be firm and tell him after, dinner,or whatever we have to do or just when wheather is good etc.Hmm..
Confused
Confused