I just lost it

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Sherril2000, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Well, I'm not proud of my behavior yesterday, but it must of helped. My less difficult child (16 year old daughter) and her friend were up in daughter's bedroom yesterday when I began to smell pot. I have repeatedly discussed the "NO DRUGS, no alcohol, no boys" rule with her, and I thought she had it straight. I caught her smoking pot this summer, and took away her phone for a month. I also made her go to substance abuse counseling. I've been under a lot of stress with difficult son in jail, and working 60 hours a week. Something just went through me, I am just beyond through being a single parent and teenagers taking advantage of me. I have explained over and over and over again that mom is a nurse, that's how I pay for all the luxuries you enjoy. She knows I can lose my license if drugs are ever found in my home, and I also won't tolerate my home smelling like an ashtray. I just blew up, started screaming at her, raised all the windows and had my phone ready to call the police. I think she was in shock, because she's never seen me act that way. Well, let me just say the friend left the house with the bong , and I've never seen my daughter act so well behaved in a long time. She cleaned her room, helped me carry in groceries, and helped cook dinner. I don't care what anyone says about "it's just pot, it's not a drug, and it doesn't hurt anybody." I can say pot totally changes both my kids attitudes, makes them lazy and unconcerned about everything. This high grade weed they call "loud" makes them hallucinate too.
     
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  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    GOOD FOR YOU!!

    Hugs and hope for continued strength!
     
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  3. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Hi Sherril, don't blame you for losing it, for goodness sakes after all you've been through. I told my boy if he ever, ever did that after what his two sisters put us all through.....
    I agree with you on the pot thing. It is not "just pot" kids are mixing it with all kinds of stuff and it is Potent with a capital P.
    Have you considered counseling for your daughter? You sound really busy, but if she is dabbling at home with her friends, she may be smoking elsewhere.
    Stick to your toughness Sherril. It is exhausting but pays off to set clear boundaries for the younger ones.
    Hang in there and take good care.
    (((hugs)))
     
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  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Good for you! I never managed to catch mine in the act. I wish I had gone crazy on him.
     
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  5. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Thank you, and yes we are in counseling! I think I would have probably lost my mind by now if it weren't for the help of our counselor and the amazing support I receive here
     
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  6. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    I'm usually pretty calm, I've seen a lot working in ICU. I really don't like to behave that way, but I think I got my point across!
     
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  7. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Good for you Sherril. What a hard road to be on. Praying for you all, for peace!
     
  8. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Yup I hear you. Try to stay even keel as well, but one is only human and can only take so much!
     
  9. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    He knew our schedules too well and even when I came home early, his window was right above the driveway. Several times I came home to see smoke being blown out the window. If I came home during the winter and his window was open it was pretty much a dead giveaway. Considered several times being sneaky but decided against it.
     
  10. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Well at least he wasn't blatant enough to smoke while you were at home! I think that's what really set me off, because she really thought I was going to let her get away with it!
     
  11. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    :bravo:Way to go Sherril. You have every right to do what you did, it's your house and your rules. Good for you for not allowing her to disrespect the boundaries you have set.
     
  12. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I think that the zombie apocalypse will be due to all these kids smoking the hyped up weed until that's what they are......mindless zombies.
     
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  13. Phoenix_Flyer

    Phoenix_Flyer New Member

    I seriously would have done the exact same thing!! Good for you!!!
     
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  14. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    YAY Sherril! One for Our Team!!! Sometimes "going off" can pay off, and it sounds like it really got her attention.

    Being a mom who isn't predictable with our responses is a very good thing. I wish I had been more unpredictable along the way.

    I caught Difficult Child only once. This was very early on, and I was clueless. I believed everything he said. I had left the house to go to an exercise class. He was still living here. When I got to the gym, the class was cancelled so I came right back home. When I opened the door, I heard the sound of running feet up the stairs. I smelled a funny smell in the kitchen, but clueless me, he was able to explain it all away. "Mom, you don't think I would ever smoke pot do you?" Well, I knew what pot smelled like, but I just thought, oh well, he's like most other teens, trying pot once in a while. Little did I know.

    Anyway...one thing I learned the hard way is this: What we find out and see is the tip of the iceberg, usually. They are experts at hiding what they do from us---all teens.

    Remember being a teen? I hid a ton of stuff, even if my stuff was pretty tame compared to what we talk about on this board.

    again I say Yay!!!!!! Sherrill! You rock!
     
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  15. SeaGenieTx

    SeaGenieTx Active Member

    Iv been thru that exact same scenario. Don't be surprised if she turns around and does it again on down the road. I blew a fuse when my son kept bringing friends over while I was at work or sneaking girls in late at night. Bongs and pipes returned after I said no drugs no paraphernalia. My son never listened to me so I made him pack a suitcase, changed my locks and told him to grow up and get a life. They do good for a while then go right back to it all so don't trust her so quickly yet.
     
  16. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    Thank you all. Believe me, she's the the 4th teenager I've raised, and I know they're very sneaky. Trying to stay strict with her, I don't want her to get in trouble like my son. What's really hard is being so tired from working so much and trying to supervise everything she does. Our counselor has a great plan for this though. If she drug tests negative and her grades are ok, she gets more privileges (cell phone, time to hang out with friends...). If she has a positive drug test or failing grades, those privileges are taken away until she tests negative again and gets her grades up. Very simple, but so far it has helped. I don't know why she reverted back to smoking pot again, but this way it's her responsibility to improve.
     
  17. RedAlert

    RedAlert New Member

    Sounds like she has too much time on her hands. I say this because,for many of today's teenagers they don't have to do the things us older ones had to do.Perhaps a part time job ? What are her duties at home ? And,for me her bedroom is off limits to all friends. And no friends allowed when your not home. Just a thought.
     
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