I'm actually thinking this bloke might have something going for him - I could be wrong, I'm not there. But he really got you thinking, Heather, he really got you worked up. You were angry, but it's better to be angry than just depressed.
I don't think his aim was to make you angry, or merely to force any kind of emotional response. But he did sound like he was trying to be thorough.
I would tell him exactly how he made you feel. As Beth said. Then see how he responds to this. He MAY keep his voice calm and want to talk to you further about just why it set up such a strong emotional response - that might really annoy you, it does sound like he's being patronising, but would actually be the best response for him because it would mean he's grabbing the chance to get right into the problems. If, on the other hand, he gets defensive and angry at all - THEN go find someone else.
I used to work as a counsellor (in one of my many incarnations). I used to break the rules all the time because I hated being patronised myself, and there were times when if I had followed the rules, that is how it would have sounded. There is a technique which is commonly used, supposed to be really helpful, called "reflection". The client says, "I've been feeling really down, I can't get moving. I just want to lie there and not move, and let time just wash past me."
The counsellor's reflected response, "So you have been feeling down, not wanting to move, just wanting to lie there. Let time wash past you."
If ANYONE does that to me, I want to get up and walk out. I usually say, "I don't need reflection, I need analysis. Throw out the textbook and LISTEN to me. I need your help, not your imitation."
For me, I need a therapist who will hear me say things like that and respond with, "How long have you felt like this? And how does it make you feel, inside, at the end of the day?"
In other words, I need a therapist to keep it moving forward. For me, reflection is just marking time. But it IS what the textbooks say you should do (as a counsellor) especially to begin with. I think the idea is, to let the client know you're listening and staying on topic, not mentally redesigning your office.
Heather, a rather naughty suggestion - why not go to your library and borrow a textbook on counselling. Then if you notice him using techniques which really grate on you, pull him up and ask him to find another way. Again, if he's worth the amount he's charging, he should be able to handle this. And if he IS worth that amount, he could be exactly what you need.
If.
Marg