I thought I was over my anger towards my In-laws but....

[Mom2oddson]

Something triggered it this morning.

When I checked facebook this morning, Ant was tagged in photos from father in law. Photos from the time that they had taken Ant. And I am ******!! Ant should of been living with us at that time, not with them.

I really thought I had worked through all my issues with them but I guess not because I am so mad again. They had no right to do what they did. And husband was still an active alcoholic at that time so he was useless. The In-laws went out of their way to give Ant everything he wanted while purposely hurting Steph and easy child. They tried their best to destroy my family and my marriage. And let's not forget that they repeated the process with Steph...

I really thought I was at the place of indifference. Guess I was wrong.

I'm hoping that this is residual anger working it's way out and that I'm not heading back to where I was when this thing started. I don't like hating people and yet I'm full of hatred towards them right now. And fear, and distrust. I don't trust them. And if they can find a way to cause more pain, they will do it.

Since I can't afford to go see my counselor right now.... If you have any advice on how to work through this, I'd really appreciate it.

 

[KTMom91]

No advice, but sending hugs and support.

 

[Hound dog]

(((hugs)))

Let yourself feel the emotions. It's not like they don't have a very valid basis.

Write down how you feel. Shut yourself into a room and rant as if you were talking to them about how you feel, what they did ect.

If you don't allow yourself to express the emotion, it will continue to resurface. You don't have to direct it at the person for it to be effective. It can be just as effective telling/yelling/screaming to a wall or whatever works best for you.

That was a very painful time for you. It's not surprising those wounds have yet to heal. Seeing those pics of that time was like someone coming along and ripping the scab off the wound.

 

[AnnieO]

Sweetheart, venting to us is probably pretty darn good therapy.

Remember: "They tried their best to destroy my family and my marriage." BUT THEY FAILED. YOU DID NOT.

YOU are stronger than they are! It is SO easy and cliche to say - "don't let it get to you" but the truth is that's impossible. Download the good photos, then defriend or block father in law. Honestly.

 

[Mom2oddson]

I'm feeling better. Think I just needed to verbalize my feelings. Especially the ones about the fear and distrust. As soon as I typed those, I started to feel better.

And I think that is the major issue. I've had 15 years of these people causing pain in my life. And I know that they aren't done. They are very active in Ant's life right now. And I know that it isn't good for him but he's still in denial about them. "They've always been there for me" is what Ant always says. Even though I can think of over a dozen times when they have hurt him with no remorse.

The In-laws have managed to divide the family into those on our side and those on their side. It stinks! And it hoovers! And it's sad. Steph, if she passed the state test, will graduate with June. She doesn't want the in-laws invited to the graduation or her party. When easy child gets married, he's already said that the in-laws are NOT to be invited.

It's sad to see the family ripped apart. And yet, I totally understand how my kids feel.

Thanks for the support.