Origami
Active Member
Hi Everyone,
It's been quite a while since I posted, and things had been better for a while. My older Difficult Child, now age 30, had been moved out and working. But then last summer, he lost his very good job due to missing work, being high, etc. He got on a suboxone program and seemed to be doing well. About a year ago, he was due to have some surgery and had been sleeping in his car, so husband and I decided to let him live with us temporarily. It was getting cold outside and he would be recovering from the surgery. Well, "temporarily" has turned into "forever," and now things are getting worse.
The latest crisis happened about a week ago when he crashed his wife's car at some point in the evening. Then, he went to work and overdosed on heroin in the bathroom. He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and we got a frantic call from his wife (who he doesn't live with, long story) since she couldn't locate him. We finally found out which hospital he was in, and we (husband and I) picked him up and took him home. They had stabilized him with Narcan and released him when he was stable. Of course, he was fired from his job.
I talked to him and he said he was going to check on a program that is something like a halfway house where they help with housing, rehab, etc. He isn't in the suboxone program anymore. He claims he talked to them at the halfway house on Saturday, but seemed a little vague about it so I don't think he did.
Last night, he was going to take his kids (our grandkids) back to their mom's house. He called me a few minutes later and said his wife needed money to get a prescription at the pharmacy, and could he get money for that. I gave him $20.
So today, my younger son, who still lives at home, said that his brother was acting weird last night, walking around and banging on things and going in and out of the bathroom. He said he thinks he's been high for a few days. Although I am very aware of the signs, I tend to still give him the benefit of the doubt, but I see that he's probably right.
Just for fun (sorry, dark humor) I texted his wife this morning and asked if he had given her money for a prescription yesterday. She said "no." So I'm thinking his request for money was for heroin.
I know that I should make him move out, and have done so before, but it's just so difficult. It's already cold here again (happens every fall and winter!), and he's so pathetic and has no job, and can't move in with his wife. It's a housing issue, as he's not allowed to live in her Section 8 apartment because of his felonies. Plus, at this point, she likely doesn't even want him there either. It doesn't help that he's a very nice person--helpful, pleasant, and kind. But he's also a drug addict, and I don't see how we can keep housing him when he's still addicted. My younger son (age 20) said he understands that his brother is on a self-medicating cycle, but he hates having to worry all the time whether he's going to discover that he has overdosed or even died. He found him passed out (ODed) once at home, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I think he's overdosed four times now.
I have a couple of close friends at work who know the situation. One of them said her brother was addicted (he's in his 60s now) and said "You can't put him out on the street," and that he was in and out of their house for years until he finally got clean. My other friend was formerly an addictions counselor, and she says we need to kick him out because he'll have no reason to change as long as he has a safe space in our house. So these two pieces of advice are competing in my head, and I'm very confused. My husband is reasonable, and would probably go along with whatever I think, but I'm in a bad place right now. I wish my son was nasty, mean, and hateful, and it would be an easy decision. Instead, he's like a pathetic, hurt puppy who sleeps a lot and cleans the kitchen when he's awake.
Thanks for reading--
It's been quite a while since I posted, and things had been better for a while. My older Difficult Child, now age 30, had been moved out and working. But then last summer, he lost his very good job due to missing work, being high, etc. He got on a suboxone program and seemed to be doing well. About a year ago, he was due to have some surgery and had been sleeping in his car, so husband and I decided to let him live with us temporarily. It was getting cold outside and he would be recovering from the surgery. Well, "temporarily" has turned into "forever," and now things are getting worse.
The latest crisis happened about a week ago when he crashed his wife's car at some point in the evening. Then, he went to work and overdosed on heroin in the bathroom. He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and we got a frantic call from his wife (who he doesn't live with, long story) since she couldn't locate him. We finally found out which hospital he was in, and we (husband and I) picked him up and took him home. They had stabilized him with Narcan and released him when he was stable. Of course, he was fired from his job.
I talked to him and he said he was going to check on a program that is something like a halfway house where they help with housing, rehab, etc. He isn't in the suboxone program anymore. He claims he talked to them at the halfway house on Saturday, but seemed a little vague about it so I don't think he did.
Last night, he was going to take his kids (our grandkids) back to their mom's house. He called me a few minutes later and said his wife needed money to get a prescription at the pharmacy, and could he get money for that. I gave him $20.
So today, my younger son, who still lives at home, said that his brother was acting weird last night, walking around and banging on things and going in and out of the bathroom. He said he thinks he's been high for a few days. Although I am very aware of the signs, I tend to still give him the benefit of the doubt, but I see that he's probably right.
Just for fun (sorry, dark humor) I texted his wife this morning and asked if he had given her money for a prescription yesterday. She said "no." So I'm thinking his request for money was for heroin.
I know that I should make him move out, and have done so before, but it's just so difficult. It's already cold here again (happens every fall and winter!), and he's so pathetic and has no job, and can't move in with his wife. It's a housing issue, as he's not allowed to live in her Section 8 apartment because of his felonies. Plus, at this point, she likely doesn't even want him there either. It doesn't help that he's a very nice person--helpful, pleasant, and kind. But he's also a drug addict, and I don't see how we can keep housing him when he's still addicted. My younger son (age 20) said he understands that his brother is on a self-medicating cycle, but he hates having to worry all the time whether he's going to discover that he has overdosed or even died. He found him passed out (ODed) once at home, and it wasn't a pleasant experience. I think he's overdosed four times now.
I have a couple of close friends at work who know the situation. One of them said her brother was addicted (he's in his 60s now) and said "You can't put him out on the street," and that he was in and out of their house for years until he finally got clean. My other friend was formerly an addictions counselor, and she says we need to kick him out because he'll have no reason to change as long as he has a safe space in our house. So these two pieces of advice are competing in my head, and I'm very confused. My husband is reasonable, and would probably go along with whatever I think, but I'm in a bad place right now. I wish my son was nasty, mean, and hateful, and it would be an easy decision. Instead, he's like a pathetic, hurt puppy who sleeps a lot and cleans the kitchen when he's awake.
Thanks for reading--