Impossible teen

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by witsend, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. witsend

    witsend Guest

    :sigh:My son is nearly 14 and out of control. He is diresectful. refuses to obey rules, he uses foul language and he has rages that can last for days. We have been more doctors than I can count and nothing is helping. He is on fluxetine and risperdone. The risperdone has caused him to gain twenty pounds which doesn;t help. I am at the end of my rope, I have two younger children who are just tired of his tantrums. Life is ver difficult and I have run out of resources and no one can tell exactly what is wrong with my son. On top of that I am being treated for breast cancer. So tryingg to stay serene ans stress free is not an option in my house. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
     
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sorry you had to find us, but I know you'll be glad you did!

    Does your son have any "official" diagnosis? What type of testing has been done, if any? Is there a family history of mental illness of any kind (anything from ADHD to autism to bipolar or schizophrenia and all the fun stuff inbetween).

    What other medications have been tried for him and what were the results you saw?

    My middle child has a bipolar diagnosis. Risperdal was one of the medications that worked fairly well in controlling his anger/irritability and the impulse to react physically when provoked. He also tried Zoloft briefly, however it made some of his symptoms worse.

    The hard part is figuring out just exactly what's causing the symptoms you see because that has a huge impact on which medications will work. Anger and raging can be caused by depression, or sensory issues, or low frustration tolerance caused by learning disabilities, other medical problems... you get the idea. Neuropsychological testing can help narrow down the possibilities. A certain amount of disrespect is normal for a 14yo, however someone who is struggling with other problems could naturally come across as a disrespectful monster on steroids.

    I'm sure others will chime in here, but hopefully you can share a little more info with us and perhaps we can offer some suggestions that you may not yet have considered.

    Welcome!
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow i'm so sorry and welcome........ sorry you had to find us yet your in the right place so vent away. you can add a signature at the bottom if you want to give us a little more info about you. life with our kids or "difficult child's" as we cal them (gifts from god) can be overwhelming to say the least, add in being treated for cancer. yes your plate runnith over.

    why dont' you share more about your son, things you have tried, what has worked what hasnt' worked, the type of evaluation's he's gotten, any possible diagnosis so that we can help you better. as far as you, yes regardless what type of cancer your in the process of beating you need your peace and having a raging 14 year old isnt' condusive to that at all.

    you gotta practice self care BIGTIME in your case. as long as he isnt' a threat to other kids or himself go put yourself in a mom time out close your bedroom door and just breath.

    ok like i said others will follow and sharing a bit more will help us help you better. it's a good place to vent, share, laugh at times, even get recipes, and most of all talk to other parents who have been down the same or similar road your traveling so you know you aren't alone.

    (((hugs)))
     
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Looks like no has mentioned it yet, have you gotten the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? It's yet another tool to add to your toolbelt. *HUGS* and hang in there hon, it can get better.
     
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Wow you have a lot of your plate. I'm so sorry!

    Do you think perhaps your son is dabbling in drug use? My daughter started at 12 and I had no idea. She changed overnight. If your son has changed his friends or his grades suddenly dropped and if he lies or steals those are big red flags for drug use. Can you please tell us about his early development and how he relates to his peers? How does he do in school? Any psychiatric problems on either side of his biological family tree? What kind of professionals does he see?
     
  6. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    How long has he been on fluoxetine? Did the rages get worse after he started it?

    SSRIs like fluoxetine can make kids with mood disorders rage. It happened to all three of my kids. You should consider asking your son's psychiatrist to wean your son from it and see if things improve.
     
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Who prescribed the medications that your son takes now? If you don't feel that they are helping I would have him weaned off of them and try something different. If you are able to take him to a neuropsychologist to have him evaluated, do it. They will be able able to test for things that other doctors are unable to and you will get a much clearer picture of what is going on with him. Has he always been this way, or is his disrespectful behavior and rages something new?

    We say this alot, but in your case I really think that it needs to be shouted from the rooftops: YOU MUST TRY TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AS WELL. You are being treated for something that can exhaust someone with the best behaved children in the world. To have to deal with the stress of your son's behavior on top of being treated for breat cancer goes far byond exhausting, I would imagine. You don't mention your kids' father? Is he in the picture? Can he take care of the kids so that you can get a break? I understand the rages that go on and on. My son was like that. His wouldn't last for days, more like hours, but those were really bad hours where all we could do was batten down the hatches and wait for his to calm down. It's tough, but if you can get a break from their father or other family members, it will help you to remain calm.

    Pam
     
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