Hello, First off want to apologize for the months of lurking without posting. I guess I was hoping against hope that I really dont have a legitimate difficult child. You would think after 6 years of tdocs and psychiatrists that I would have passed that denial phase! I am eager to join you ladies (and gentlemen!) in offering support and hopefully learning some things about how to handle my difficult child. I will try to keep my intro short but informative and get right to my immediate problem (which as you know with difficult childs varies from day to day!) I think I will call my difficult child Knight and easy child will be Sprite. Knight was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD at the tender age of 4. After getting expelled from daycare for aggressive behavior at 4 and nearly expelled from a new daycare at 5, he went on stimulant medication. It made a difference almost immediately in curbing most of the aggression. Most, but not all. Last summer he was expelled from another daycare. Teachers, and myself, have also noticed an anger and anxiety in him that seems to be increasing over the years. therapist added anxiety to his diagnosis. Yet, he is not prone to meltdowns or rages- maybe short explosive bursts of temper but no drawn out raging. Thus the go-round of medication changes- hes always been on a stimulant of some sort or another, but thru the years weve tried SSRIs (to help with anxiety), Tenex, other antidepressants, Remeron sigh. Nothing seems to be effective for very long. We are losing psychiatrist in December. We lost therapist in July and new therapist doesnt seem to have much of a clue. Ex-H and I went through a divorce this past year which was final in July. He has his own issues- alcoholism and ADHD at the minimum, also possibly depression and bipolar. He was actually hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar about a year ago, but later he told me it was a bad reaction to some antidepressants he was on. He claims physical issues too (he tripped and fell while on a drunken binge and has had back problems ever since), and doesnt work or pay child support. He is filing for SSDI. He and I have a very contentious relationship and not much respect for one another. In fact, when we took Knight to a neuropsychologist a few months ago she refused to evaluate him because she was afraid her results would create yet more fissures in our relationship. Knight has issues with swearing. He swears at home in the mornings when his medications havent yet taken effect. Telling him to stop or threatening consequences just escalates the bad language, so I have learned to just shut his door and let him go at it. Generally by the time we leave for school, hes calmed down. Today, though, I got a email from his teacher requesting a meeting regarding his inappropriate language at school. This has not been mentioned to me at all so far this year, she said it had only recently come to light. I agreed to meet, asked her if she had tried any of the interventions from his 504 plan? And asked for some more details (it seems like teachers and daycare workers always speak in generalities and I am always missing crucial details) She responded that she hadnt heard any of the bad language herself, that other students had reported it to her. She says she has tried confronting him privately and he just clams up. She wants to meet with both of us to discuss a consequence or reward system together and talk about what might be causing the behavior. OK, if youve stayed with me up till now, does anyone get an UGH feeling from the final sentences in the last paragraph? She hasnt even heard any of the salty language herself??? And Knight is now her target, and not the kids who are reporting him? I am hurting for Knight so badly right now- not that its necessarily wrong to report him, but this kid doesnt have a friend in the world except easy child. I am unsure what to do now. I want to meet with her to show I can cooperate, but I know Knight wont be any more cooperative in this meeting than he was when she talked to him privately. And I still am missing vital details to even be able to help!! Also, I dont know how to advise her on strategy since nothing seems to help in my own household. I can tell from her email that she hasnt made any effort at all to bond with my son so I dont doubt he is feeling distrustful of her and probably his classmates now too. Please help!!