is it me?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Dec 5, 2010.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    so if you guys read my post i sent difficult child to her dad's overnight last night until today.

    I needed the break, i was a bit apprehensive yet I did it because i knew she wanted to and i knew i needed the time.

    so guess what, exh announces to difficult child how him and his wife are breaking up. now to explain his wife is never there when difficult child has gone in the past, she is like the invisible wife. so difficult child had no relationship with her. did in the beginning years ago.

    why would he tell her today? she has been eating for what 5 days now, and he decides today is a good day to dump this on her????

    is it me, am i nuts or is this guy truly certifiable?

    so needless to say she was beyond upset more worried about dad being alone, than begging me to divorce my husband and get back with him. NOT!

    on and on she cried. finally calmed her and put her in a warm shower after yes 6 days of not showering. natural consequences on that one were a bit too much for us.
     
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh Wow!!! My 1st reaction was "now she will want her mom and dad to get together again". Your difficult child has so much on her plate right now. Try to assure her that her dad is a grown-up (atleast age wise but she doesn't need to know any better) and can take care of himself. She doesn't have to worrry about him - he will find a place to live and she can still visit him.

    Oh, and he told her today because he doesn't have a clue about anyone's emotions but his own.
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yes i did i calmed her. yet it's often challenging to do this alot due to the stuff he says to her. it's a real hardship. he doesnt' mean it he just isnt' a well guy.
     
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yep. It's all about him...........and evidently he doesn't have a friend to unload on so he picks his little girl. Yeah, really super guy there. NOT.

    As for the getting back together with ex......................... You know that is something I have never understood. I know it's supposed to be quite common ect for kids to feel that way, but not once did the thought ever cross my mind, or my sibs minds. So I'm guessing that is why I've never really understood it. lol My mom married..........uh, well let me count......... 4 or 5 times (I might have missed one) Hubby #2 is the one I think of as my Dad or daddy. She divorced him when I was 6 or so. Still didn't cross our minds that they would ever get back together, and they were best friends up until the day he died. Maybe we're just weird kids.:tongue:
     
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    He chose to tell her because he cares about no one's emotional needs other than his own! How dumb could he be? She finally seems to be heading down the right path and he dumps this on her now? Is he trying to send her back to not eating and then try to blame in on you for not caring for her well enough? How was she after you calmed her down?

    I think that she does need to understand that you and your X are not getting back together despite her request that you divorce your husband and go back to the X. Tell her that it was not a good relationship for you anymore and that going back would be bad for you as a person and as a mom because it would make you unhappy. Everyone has a right to find happiness/

    Pam
     
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i would rather be placed on fire, while ppl drove stakes through my body and left me on an island alone in pain than marry him again :) I think that clarifies it?? yes?? :)
     
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    My difficult child once asked me if we could all just live in the same house (yes, me, H, easy child, difficult child and exh) so she would be able to see her dad more often. As if. He once slept in his van in our driveway because he didn't have enough money for a motel. It didn't even occur to me to ask if he wanted the couch. Of course, that was many moons ago. More recently, in May, he came up to visit while H and I were out of town and slept on the couch.

    I used to hate it when difficult child would ask why exh and I couldn't just get married again....um, because there are too many reasons to list? She asked me why I was able to forgive my current H for his alcoholism but not exh for his cocained use. Oh, God, as if that were the only thing going on.

    Hang in there Jen. You have no control over what your stupid exh says to difficult child, but you do have control over how to help difficult child get through it. Hugs~
     
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Jena, you know, you really should not hold in your emotions. Let it all out. Tell us how you REALLY feel! LOL!!

    Pam
     
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    pam

    i'm easy to read, an open book. no i never hold back LOL it's my MO. unpleasant for some yet healthy for me!! :) kinda scary what goes down in my brain
     
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Sounds like a pretty normal reaction to the idea of re-marrying an X to me!
     
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