It's Never the Big Stuff...is it?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    We all know it can be difficult living with a difficult child...

    and despite all the "big stuff" major meltdowns, rages, episodes with law enforcement--

    it's the little, stupid, day-to-day aggravations that just are wearing me down.

    May I just list a few without sounding petty?

    There's the "Makeup Issue"...
    difficult child wears waaay too much makeup...and then refuses to wash her face at the end of the day. Her eyelashes are absolutely caked with gunk. I even went out and bought her eye makeup remover pads--but she would prefer to yell at me about how they make her eyes look red...instead of just removing the darn eye makeup.

    The kicker on this issue this week? She left her makeup back on the counter. I had purchased her some eyeshadow as a Valentine's Day gift--the makeup is already used up to the bottom of the little tins! What's it been--a little more than a week??? And the eyeliner pencils she got just before school started are worn down to little nubs. Ugghhh!!!! Too much!!!!


    There's the "Respect Issue"...
    difficult child got makeup for Valentine's Day and we gave DS a gift bag of Men's goodies--Axe Shampoo, Hair Gel, Axe Deoderant stuff like that. difficult child is jealous--so next time she was in the bathroom she watered down all of his bath products. She's also been using his hairbrush to wash her hands. DS is understandably upset--naturally difficult child lies about it and is ready to throw a tantrum to prove how innocent she is. Ugghhh!!!!

    She doesn't know it--but difficult child is using the money in her bank account to replace her brother's stuff AND buy him a caddy that he can carry to the bathroom each time he showers. Sneaky of me? Sure...but I just don't care any more. I'm tired of trying to rationalize with difficult child.

    There's the "Food Issue"...
    Won't eat--will eat. Too much--not enough. And we're all supposed to just magically know when she feels like eating and when she doesn't. And, of course, we get yelled at for not knowing (Of course I'm hungry! You didn't make enough!!)

    And then she eats junk food all day at school. Manages to get herself candy and snacks from the vending machines despite having no cash. How do I know? Her bedroom is full of food wrappers again. Who the heck is supplying my kid with all this junk????

    No wonder there is no appetite for dinner! And no wonder she is not eating the school lunches...

    I just get tired of all of the stupid little conflicts about NOTHING. Why can't she just eat her meals? Why can't DS be left alone? Why does she care what kind of shampoo he has? And why does even the simplest thing--like washing her face--have to be a big battle?


    I want to run away.


    Thanks for listening...

    --DaisyFace
     
  2. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    You're right - I can deal with the big stuff because it happens infrequently at best. It's the little daily stuff the drives me up a friggin' wall.

    What is it with girls wearing Axe stuff?

    Keeping fingers crossed that things settle just a bit for you & yours....it's exhausting.
     
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I stopped giving difficult child 1 money for anything at his Junior Prom in an attempt to make him step up to the plate a bit. Did not phase him one bit. He "earned" money at school by taking bets on what disgusting concoctions he would eat at lunchtime - people would bring him blended mixtures of school lunches and who knows what and tell him "$5 bucks if you drink it".

    Whatever...I guess he "earned" his living that way.

    And yes, its the little junk. The constant nagging chip-away-at-you junk that erodes you away to a canyon where once stood a mountain. Ok, exaggeration, but you understand.
     
  4. unsure

    unsure New Member

    Right there with ya, hon.

    Day in, day out...pull up the baggy pants, do your chores, turn down the music, pick up your room, blah, blah, blah...only to be ignored or argued with.

    I close his door now so I don't have to look at the totaled bedroom I've asked him to reapeatedly clean up. His birthday is coming up and I told him that as long as he does what's expected of him...homework, chores, attitude...he can have a couple of buddies for a sleep over. Yep, hasn't done a thing!!!

    Got made at me last night because I wouldn't sign off on his reading log. Didn't see/hear him read so I'm not signing it. He wanted to get into a tug-o-war with me over when and how he was going to read so I just walked out and didn't sign it. He screamed at me that it'll be MY fault when he gets in trouble at school today. Fraid not my friend, time for difficult child to be accountable for his own actions.

    LOVE to aggrevate daughter as much as possible over the littlest of thigs. She goes in her room and closes the door so she doesn't have to hear it...not fair to her at all. He gets everything he wants when he's at his Dad's, but let me do something for daughter and OMG, the world didn't revolve around him for a minute and I'm suddenly playing favorites...whatever...so tired of it. :faint:
     
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