Hi to everyone. I am new to this site and new to this difficult child world. I thought I could handle it; I am failing miserably? I married into this last April.......................... difficult child-18 yo Stepson, Bi Polar + Supposed to graduate in May? difficult child-12 yo Stepdaughter, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ODD, Bi Polar husband-Alcoholic ME-I was sane! 2-easy child grown sons, 31 + 29 husband EX-Bi Polar and other issues Came into this relationship with Eyes Wide Open?? My difficult child step kids don;t do anything they are told. They have to be told when to take a Bath/Shower and wash their hair. They don't brush their teeth, they don't flush the toilet. They don't clean up their messes. They just don't care about a thing. Each one has one (1) thing that is asked as a chore per day. One does dishes, one takes out the trash, and everyday they switch. SIMPLE, right? I woke up this morning to a mess in the kitchen, garbage in the sink; counters a mess, smell of trash and garbage in the laundry room and trash falling on the floor. I immediately went balistic. I called for a meeting (family) just the night before and this is not the first time and let the kids know what is expected of them. Its like talking to brick walls??? I can't get thru to either of them. My husband says nothing? Neither child can do more then i thing at a time; thats why I give them 1 item each. Every morning I get up with the 12 yo; her dad and husband EX never got up with her. I begin my day screaming? I work 8-9 hours a day, come home, cook, laundry, take care of dogs, kids, and then have to tuck in the 12 yo. The husband Ex is giving up custody to us, papers just sent to her lawyer and we hope this is better for the kids living in one stable, one set of rules home. EX has kicked both kids out of her home at least 4 times the past year and finally said she doesn't want them! I guess that makes me the winner? Winner?? I love these kids but life is not EASY? The 12 yo is always right there and never even lets me alone..................I am feeling smothered and like I am going crazy. difficult child #1 hasn't been taking his depakote er like he's supposed to. difficult child #2 is on Depakote, Risperdahl, and FocalinER. She is always angry and constantly tells me she never has learned anything from her mom about Hygiene (for example). She lies constantly. She cusses like a sailor. She doesn't care what she looks like. She is mean and disrespectful to all of us. Don't get me wrong, Sometimes I see a glimpse of someone nice in there, but not often! I am really TIRED!