Just need help

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by recklesshope, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. recklesshope

    recklesshope New Member

    I need advice and i have nowhere to turn. Here is the back story of whats going on:
    I am Bipolar/MDD/ADHD. I have been instituded multiple times for multiple reasons. I made my parenst worried everyday, andi am sure they still do. Aside from my mental illness, i have accomplish things in life. But like most know, one day your good and the next your on your way to the hospital without an explanation. Everyday i wake up and ask why am i here suffereing, why cant i just live happily. Well recently, i have been good no hospital, when through a deviliating depression but made it with out any major issues, just with tears and alot of tea, for the first time i felt like i had a choice, and its was clear that the choice was to live, to i fought, the hardest most painful thing i have ever had to do, so far. Yet thos month i have been dealing with my girlfriend, she has MDD, has abused drugs through out her life, and finally crashed and couldnt get up. It had been a month since she was able to do anything for her self. She had been medicating herself and drugging herself in order not to feel. So a long time i didnt know what to do. I didnt want to baker act her, since i didnt want her to feel alone and betrayed. Then over the weeked she bought a gun, thank god for FL law, 5 day clearance befor handing it. This week has been evenful, i finally had to tell her that either she gets help or i walk, i was hoping that she would say help me. and thank god she did. We found this place where she can admit herself and get treated for her depression, she is going to be fine. Yet the issue is as follow, after dealing with her problems and having to be strong for her, so that she can fight and live through it all, so that she can see one day the beauty that i saw that one day of just happiness. I let my self go. I am tired, weak and ready to run. I dont want to be the person that admits and then tells you i am done. But i cant go on. I feel like i fought and somewhere along the lines i have lost sight of me. My medications arent working, talking to the doctors, I still fighting everyday, just to get up and make it to work, so that we can pay for her medical bills,But i just dont think i have it in me anymore. I love her, and she is all i have, but i just cant. Help!? can someone please Help?!
     
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hi, I can understand where you are coming from because I have bipolar myself. It isnt an easy issue to deal with. I commend you for making it through what you have been through.

    This forum is for parents dealing with kids issues so it may be that not many understand the issues of adults like us. I would like to offer you the name of a website that I have found that is geared just to people like us http://www.bipolarworld.org

    You may find more "like-minded" people there.

    Do feel free to keep reading and posting here though if it helps.
     
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet gave you a wonderful link.

    I, too, can understand because I'm bipolar. It can be especially rough when life is throwing you curve balls and you're medications aren't working properly. The stress can sometimes yank your feet out from under you before you realize it.

    I also commend you for making it thru those life challenges, and for seeking help that you need.

    ((hugs))
     
  4. angels

    angels New Member

    :crying:<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>Dear Recklesshope,
    I am so sad for you! I am reading your story and I just want to hold you and make all your hurt go away. I wish I could. Here I am searching fo answers about my son and they are so minor compared to what you are dealing with.

    Please try and hang in there. Please feel my hug and my shoulder.

    Have you ever tried a holistic dr. or a preventative medicine Doctor? I am sure you tried everything else. It wouldn't hurt. I'm afraid I can't offer you much advice but my heart and prayers go out to you.

    Hang in there.
    Angel</span>
     
  5. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Just want you to know my big sis is bipolar and sometimes she is hospitalized and sometimes she gets sad enough to not want to be around. good days, bad days. she gets irritable and stressed and it seems things go bad in her world a lot, lots of it not her fault.

    take care of you. even if you love your girlfriend, she is resp for her own problems. tell her you will be there for her but only when she is helping herself as well.
    peace to you and yours.
    Janet
     
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