Hi Nancy and DDD,
difficult child got out Monday morning and took another patient to her halfway house and then went to boyfriend's house for the night. She called and was her usual demanding and entitled self. I ended up hanging up on her when she demanded that we go to family counseling since this wasn't all her fault. Yada, yada, yada.
I went to bed upset because I felt like we wasted our money. However, the next day she called and apologized and actually talked to me like an adult. She said that she knew that she needed to change and what she needed to do but change was hard and it was going to take time and work. difficult child said that she was trying, though, and that she needed to stop blaming others for her problems.
During the day, she is staying at her friend's mom's house and she is going to the boyfriend's house at night. The boyfriend's family won't let her stay when they are not there (smart move on their part).
I questioned her going to boyfriend's and reminded her that part of the program was to stay away from temptation. She said that boyfriend is totally supportive of her recovery and would do nothing to harm it. To his credit, he did call me a year ago (not an easy thing for him since he knows we don't like him) when he was concerned about difficult child's Xanax habit. He even told her that he would break up with her if she didn't stop taking Xanax so I do know that he doesn't want her abusing prescriptions pills. The problem is that he is also a drinker.
difficult child has found a halfway house that will take her next Wednesday. It is not the one that the counselor suggested. difficult child said they wouldn't take her at that one because she wouldn't commit to 6 months and they said that they didn't think she was serious about recovery. Gee . . . just what I wanted to hear.
The one she found has much looser rules than I would like but she will be drug/alcohol tested 2 - 3 times a week with immediate dismissal if she is not clean. They also have 5 meetings a week. The first two weeks she has to go everywhere with a buddy but after that she gets to come and go with curfews. The are expected to be working, actively seeking work, or volunteering while they are there.
It is the same cost as the other one. One thing that I think she really liked is that it is a women's only facility in a very nice part of town.
One day at a time . . . one step at a time.