I'm reading Coming Home to Self, the Adopted Child Grows Up. It's for adopted adults and pretty much everyone who loves them: birthparents, adoptive parents, siblings, romantic interests, spouses, children etc. It's a difficult read... There's a lot jam packed into the book lots of subject matter, lots of research blended with lots of opinion. I can't imagine anyone reading it from cover to cover straight through. I am confident anyone related to adoption will find gems throughout regardless of what they open to. I certainly don't agree with every perspective, but I have found a wealth of information. One topic that has me prayerfully pondering is letters to estranged adoptees. The author asserts that for letters to be effective, they must not have any inkling of blame, explanation, accusation or defense. Yeah. I'm SO not there yet and openly wonder if it would be wise to attempt to open communications with our gun-toting, false allegating, distorted reality, hearing voices difficult child WITHOUT it being evident she recognizes how her condition and decisions adversely affect our relationship. Does anyone have experience with writing to estranged difficult children?