Life update - The Biker and the Xanax Weasle

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Hi family -

    Sorry I haven't been around too much. I'll try to fill you in and be brief (stealing minutes here and there between taking care of the Swedish patient)

    Leemmee see -

    Okay I'm still working - Not getting in much driving, but I'm bale person of the clothes and I lift - ready for this??? (And you hate picking up your kids' laundry?) 45,000 lbs of clothes a week, put them into a regular baler, tie them into around 1000 lb bales and ship them out. FUN! Yeah the though about me separating laundry and being anal about whites, and jeans and (oh pft) Those days are so done. I'm ready to take every bit of clothing I own in my home and throw it in my car, pack it into a bale and never EVER load clothes into a box again. Not kidding. Those clothes you see kids in third world countries wearing? Thank me.....seriously - I'm throwing them their way. Lol.

    Dude is doing well, Ouixa is with us now.....and she loves being with her sissy again. She is sooooooooo adorable. She loves her new sissy L.C. too. Me thinks she's going for obedience lessons soon. She listens really well - but she's bored and could use some guidance. Too bad her dad didn't come and I could have got a twofer. lol - ahem.

    DF had total knee replacement - the first of two. A week in the hospital and then three days of three weeks in rehab. Yeah - that went swimmingly. What a load of hooey that place was. Lets see - day one? 12 hours without pain medication. Day two - No you can't have a shower - Why? The shower is nasty and basically he's too coherent and would see it - and there was mold so thick in there they put towels on the floor and the seat - usually they have senior citizens that never would notice. OMG not fit for a hog to bathe in there. Day two evening -buzz the nurse the third time - Um excuse me but am I going to get something to eat? In a gruff voice the return nasty voice says "When we get to you!" and the return voice said "Well that would be nice considering you didn't bring me breakfast or lunch." -----complete silence and then 10 minutes later some awful tray of nasty **** you would not have served a dog. Not kidding - it looked like they scooped it out of the trash. THAT night? I took him home - and they tried to give me flack - and well - I'll put it this way - Give ME flack when you've done the above to MY LOVED ONE? -----Go ahead....Give it a whirl.....ten minutes later -and without so much as my voice being raised - they were scrambling for paperwork. I.WAS.NOT.A.HAPPY.CAMPER. When I left it was all - "Yes maam, no sir......blah blah blah...and the next day? We went home. Holy moly Pootie could take just as good a care of him. No joke. So now we have home health aids. And a flaky Physical therapist that lies.....OMG yeah I stopped that today too - she tried the - Oh I called your husbands phone - and it is disconnected. So I said HANG ON....and called his phone. It rang and I said "Huh - It's ringing for me." Then she said "Oh I meant I called your HOUSE - I said Hang on....called it and it rang......I said What number are you dialing I just called the house and it rings fine. Then she said - Well Maybe I dialed wrong...and I said "And I'm going to trust you to work on My old man? WOW.....How about we start over? If you can't make it? Don't lie.....Tell me the truth or you won't be coming here - and I'm guessing you need the money - which is cool ----but don't lie to us. Either you can make it ------or you can't. We're accomodating....and we bend.....but we hate liars and game players. So today is your do over day - Can you come tomorrow without problems yes or no, or do you need to rearrange your schedule and get back to us? We won't be angry - trust me - just be here when you say -----and call 30 minutes ahead or don't come - period. She said "I'll be there tomorrow - no stories." I said - That's acceptable.....and if you can't make it - CALL.....just say "I can't make it - NO STORIES. If it gets to be a habit? Then we'll let you know because he does need therapy.......but other than that? We're cool otherwise we'll make other arrangements....Deal? ....... She said "Sounds great thanks." UGH......I HATE liars. I hate story liars worse.

    Lets see - OH the puppy ate DF's glasses --------that was funny....(not)

    And some time I'll tell you about the Biker, the plunger and the sewer weasle........who all had a nice trip in the bathroom because the puppy ate his glasses and the poor dear thought the Xanax prescribed by the hopsital said Take Three ONE times a day - and noooooo it actually said Take ONE three times a day. Cripes allmighty I'm lucky I have a toilet left to sit on.........the wicker magazine rack and the shower curtain suffered fatalities. I've never been exactly sure what the proper weapon needed to kill an invisible bathroom weasle was.......and now we all know. (apparently the yellow fiberglass handled ones are just dandy also for leaving black rubber circle marks on your wallpaper too) - yeah tried Mr Clean erasers......looks like someone took a shotgun and blew black, rubber, toilet hole sized rings all over my tan wallpaper. As I laid in my bed listening to the carnage? I wasn't sure what he was going to suck out of the wall? But, some days - you just wonder if going with the flow...(no pun intended) is ever going to pay off.

    -I left the bathroom just as it was and the next day? He took the Xanax back to the pharmacy and asked them to dispose of them. -------I couldn't have been happier. I also noticed he disposed of the magazine rack and hung the shower curtain all by his onesizes......Actually pretty proud for the help.....We just don't speak of it really. And I promised not to make weasle noises any more when we're in the bathroom.

    He is up and walking without a walker - so there is something to be said about the pain and power of being home. The doctor said it was the worst knee he's ever operated on and had NO idea how he was ever still walking. He said it feels wonderful to not have that pain when he walks. So - maybe in January he'll go again. The scar is pretty ugly - but compared to not being in pain? He said Bring it on. I hope he's able to get a lot of relief from this and get out and start living. Ten years sitting on a couch is not a life.

    Miss you all!!
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sending much love and hugs to you and big get well wishes to DF! It gives me hope for when I have my knee done! Well, minus the biker and weasel part, ahem.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh could have just sent me the xanax...did ya have to kill it? LOL.

    I swear you two get into some of the funniest predicaments I have ever read. Give him a hug, the dogs a scratch and a pat...or the other way around...whichever
  4. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Medical grade honey is great for minimizing scars if he's concerned. I've seen it work wonders. Glad he's up and about again, hope the pup is okay.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending lots of love. I guess if I send a weasel ball to your furbabies for Christmas it will send DF into PTSD flashbacks? ( I know, I know, off to the corner.)

    I am so glad he is up and about and HOME and NOT in the horrible pain he was in for so long. from what I have seen it will give him a lot of hs life back, esp when he has both knees done. father in law was amazed and he kicked himself for waiting so long to have it done. He didn't think it was going to help that much, so he just wouldn't do it until the doctor got in his face about it.

    Wow, you are clothing whole countries with those bales you ship!!!! One thing I have learned to hate is the amt of clothing that ends up in the landfill around here. At the end of every semester a lot of the college kids just throw everything away. Not donate, or give away, actually put it into a dumpster. It is so stupid, in my opinion. I am going scrounging for xmas gifts this year! lol, but you should see the stuff they throw away with-o a thought. Lots of teh clothes have tags still on them!

    I do
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :hugs: Oh, Star, how I have missed you and your tales!

    I'm gonna have to hang out in the corner with Susie, 'cause Jett has this stuffed weasel... HE says it's a ferret, I looked it up in the toy catalog and it's a WEASEL... I thought of it... Only it's not invisible. Hmm.

    Three Xanax, huh? Wow. That would've put me under for days. I'm glad he's up and about, though - and that you are baling clothes. Though I do have to wonder how many t-shirts would make 1/2 ton...
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad things are still interesting at your house! Lots of hugs going out.
  8. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll never look at my Xanax bottle quite the same way again. Thanks for the udpate! :)
  9. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Step.....I'll pay shipping.
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Give the weasel warrior a big hug from me.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Holy cow, what an update!

    Great idea to take the dog to obedience. How to make a good dog GREAT. :)

    So sorry about the crummy rehab facility. I would report them to the state medication board so fast! That seems to be my hobby these days ...

    What a waste of Xanax. Sigh.

    Now THIS sounds like a joke, Star:
    And some time I'll tell you about the Biker, the plunger and the sewer weasle
    So, this biker and sewer weasle go into a bar and sit on the stools. The bartender comes up to them and says, "Yes, we'd like to order two beers." The bartender says, "First, you have to prove your worth and use this plunger ..."
    See, this is why I'm not a stand-up comic. I can never come up with-a punchline. :)
  12. Star*

    Star* call 911

    You know........I told the people at work.....and they all stood there laughing and said "well at least this is only ONE incident in your life." and I blinked blindly and said "Oh missunderstand, this is a day in my life, I wasn't at the bathroom door trying to get in, I was laying in the bed listening at first and then fumbling for the remote to turn the volume up on my televison - sooner or later I knew he'd kill was all just a matter of time. These sorts of things happen all the time in our house - like the time he had back surgery and challenged the Mother raccoon in the back of the dump truck diner serving her kits - while pushing his walker, and shaking his cane at the now angry sow across the field yelling "Hey you raccoon git outta my trash........Man she was big-----but boy he was fast." (a story for them for another time)

    And I've yet to even let them in on - getting my tongue stuck in the beaters of the mixer......or popping the bubble wrap in the inside of my shoes while walking across the floor of the office - thinking I could use it for poor mans Jellin' insoles.......- they just have NO idea......Fairly certain they'll catch on eventually - but ya just never know.

    Terry - Gimme some time and I'm sure I'll come up with the punch line for that -lol

    Susie* - ROFLM weasleball off.....OMG had NOT thought of that......they come through the store all.the.time----(evil eyebrow raises) I promised. bwhahahahahahah

    Step and STang.........FORrrrrrrrrrrrr shame........PM me for the address.......bwhahahahahah.......I'll put it in the tub.......and tie fishing string around it's nose........and pull the rest of the line out the door.......and wait until he's on the toilet one night..........and then jerk that string and watch that friggin weasle pop out from behind the shower curtain, over the tub, across the floor and out under the bathroom door........ROFLMAOPMP....and I think........EVIL genius......he'll at least be sitting in the right spot.....and have his weapon at the ready. (OMG) too funny.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Revenge best served on the potty. :flirtysmile3:(insert weasle noises)
  14. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    LOL Starbie, I'll have your addy soon on the Christmas Card list!!!
  15. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh my. Sounds like an awful place. FWIW, my mom just had her first knee done? And is doing well. Had surgery in August and went back to work beginning of the month. She knew she needed both knees done, but now she REALLY knows. The right one (had surgery) was the worst one, and now the left is giving her more grief than the right did! As soon as she builds up leave, she will do the other.

    As for rehab?? Huh, I would say going home with home health would be just as good as long as you don't live by yourself.
  16. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green


    Step, let me know what I owe you.
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    WOW! I was wetting my pants about the plunger.... That stuff can't be made up... really think you could make money selling to a sitcom writer.
  18. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Oh my heck-holy cow, I cant stop laughing. What a story teller you are Star-so talented. I hope things are well despite the humor!
  19. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    Thanks for your update, I can't stop laughing! I really needed a good laugh. Hope he heals fast and is able to do the things he used to without any pain.
  20. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    husband said we need to find one of those teeny mini plungers, so the weasel can fight back...