Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, May 24, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Just sitting here basically waiting for the shoe to drop. I'm not stressed. I'm not worrying. Just waiting patiently. I know it's coming. I can feel it.

    In the continues to go on and the waiting doesn't interfere with it. The family goes about being a family, doing what we always do. Katie and kids have dropped into the background. Oddly, even more so than when they were in Mo, even though they're just across town.

    I hear from her when she wants something. But lately I haven't been accommodating for various reasons. She can call a cab for most things. And she probably thinks I'm mean, but I expect her to do just that. husband did take kayla to school early on the 18th so she could go on her class field trip. I haven't heard from katie since the 17th, when I contacted her to remind her husband was picking kayla up early and what time he'd be there.

    I'm guessing she's not to happy with us of late due to this. husband had to be firm with her when he picked up Kayla that Alex was not coming along. School doesn't allow students there that early, and he wasn't going to sit with Alex in the car for 45 mins until he was allowed to go into the school because Katie was too lazy to walk to the bus stop. husband said she was ticked over it. Then of course is the whole we're not driving around 2 cars to transport your family places. Her kids missed Aubrey's birthday. It's sad to say but the family didn't miss them.....or the tension that hangs in the air when they're around. And for a family very used to difficult children, that's sort of bad itself.

    Kayla and Alex's bdays are coming up soon. Kayla the 3rd and Alex the 15th. Katie planned to celebrate them together. A cookout at the shelter next to the apartment complexes playground. First date she made was in the middle of the week. Seriously? Both your sisters work for a living. Nichole can't come down during the week because the baby she watches doesn't get picked up until 6:30pm. easy child checked her schedule and she worked the day the party was planned.....and so did sister in law because he now works 2nd shift except on weekends. Katie sort of acted as if her kids were having a party so the family should just poof stop everything and come. Well, we'd come, but duh you do have to pick a day when others can actually get there. But since then no more talk about a birthday party. So I don't know if she's going to do it or not. Don't really care. If she doesn't I'll drop the kids presents by one day when I'm on that side of town.

    Katie is all about Alex being ohhh so violent again. I find it strange that she speaks of the behavior again the moment M re-enters the picture. My theory is it is one of two things: 1. Alex is being blamed for violence that M is doing or 2. Something M is doing triggers violence in Alex. I tend to believe number 1 is the truth. Don't know why, just a strong feeling. Not that Alex can't strike out when frustrated or angry, but honestly I've had ample time to see such behavior and have yet to witness it myself. And I know from past experience that Evan is just as capable of all out violence as Katie claims Alex is. HIS I've seen first hand and had to step in many times to stop.

    Kayla attended her field trip with a black eye. husband asked her about it. She blamed it on Evan. :sigh:

    Last time I spoke to katie she told me welfare is giving her the run around about the insurance and food stamps. It's been like 3 wks. Uh, no. Sorry. I know the system down here and she'd have had it by now if she'd done what she was supposed to do. Heck if she'd have done what she was supposed to do she'd have had it the day after she handed them the paperwork.

    I just ignored it. No advice. Nothing. No are the kids eating.....Her problem. I'm tired of repeating myself over and over for nothing.

    M is supposedly deathly sick. He went to the ER. They told him he has "bronchitis". I put that in quotes because I'm not so sure I believe it. That whole if she opens her mouth it's a lie thing, especially when it comes to M. But I can say IF he went to the ER, they pegged him as an addict before he was a foot in the door and treated him accordingly. He looks like an addict.......actually he looks like an addict who is dying with AIDS to be bluntly honest. She didn't hear any poor pitiful M from me that was for sure. She claimed not to have money to buy the scripts the doctor gave him. Well our hospital is not stupid, someone comes in sick with no insurance looking the way he looks and they only write scripts for the 4 buck medications at walmart so the patients can afford to buy them. No way in hades was I going to offer to pay for his medications. If she wasn't out buying playstations, computers, video games and movies......she'd have the cash for his medications. Her last email was declaring that omg he'd lost soooooooooo much weight and sounded as if he were dying. They should be so lucky. phht. I resisted the urge to tell her to go have herself tested for AIDS.

    Yeah. Come to the conclusion that I got mad over the playstation and computer bit for the wrong reasons. I've seen that computer now. It's new. I'm not stupid. I know computers. It wasn't donated to the shelter. And while Alex's teacher adores Alex....I find it more than highly suspect that she bought the boy a new playstation worth a couple hundred bucks.

    So? What am I waiting for? I'm waiting for them to be evicted from the apartment or to take off, whichever comes first.

    I don't buy the apartment changed their minds. I lived there long enough to know such things don't happen. I find it hard to swallow that it happened for katie. I've seen people with much less "colorful" background/records than M refused. It's not just a HUD rule, it's the OWNERS rule.....and the owner doesn't back down. Never did before, doubt seriously he would after sinking a ton of money into remodeling. Of course I could be wrong......but let's just say I've long experience with her Dad on this same time of lying and those finally honed instincts are screaming it's all hogwash. It's an excuse to sneak him and cover her *ss, hoping not to get caught.

    I've not said much to the girls concerning this. But they've pulled back into detachment mode too.......distancing themselves.

    If I see an opportunity for cps to step in I will call. Otherwise, I just have to let it go. IF they have the kids trained to blame each other for the would be a hard thing to prove.

    The only thing I'm worried about is Nichole. Katie's abandonment is what triggered her difficult child decent into hades in the first place. She is stable, much more mature (so looks at it differently than she did as a child)....and is in the process of detaching. But that doesn't mean if/when (because I really do think it's a "when") Katie takes off again, that it won't trigger another nosedive off the deep end the way bff's death did. In fact I will be shocked if it doesn't.

    That is what I'm dreading.

    And as awful as it may sound to others, if that does happen.......I will be totally done with katie. She nearly destroyed her sister once. (and she knows it) I won't be able to forgive her for doing it to her a 2nd time. And I sure as hades won't ever allow her near enough for a 3rd try.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh...I hope you are wrong and she is just doing something else.
  3. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Yes, it would. Onyxx and Jett, back when they lived with BM and visited us on weekends (EVERY weekend), would show up with odd bruises, black eyes, strange cuts... Once Onyxx showed up with the bridge of her nose sliced and two black eyes PLUS a cut lip. Supposedly Jett THREW a swing at her. He was 7 at the time, and has always been small - no, it looked like a fistfight. Always, always, it was Jett's fault. The I time Jett told us BM punched him in the head (after the kids started living with us), we found out because he told a TEACHER - CPS came to investigate ME - "wrong Mommy" is what he said. BM said she didn't do it. Case closed.

    Unfortunately, when they are told to blame each other - then it's sibling issues and "no big deal".

    We know better.

    UGH. I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm gonna keep praying.
  4. elizabrary

    elizabrary Member

    Blah- I'm right there with you. And I did call CPS- fat lot of good it does. But it's the only thing I can do. Kat cannot even take time out from chasing men to get her social services in order for her child either. It boggles my mind. She is highly intelligent, should be nearly done with college by now, but acts so stupid. My mom sent a bunch of nice new clothes to my house for KK because she was feeling bad for Kat being stuck here with none of her stuff. Now she's gone and I don't know where. I'm avoiding calling my mom to tell her and ask if she wants me to send the clothes back to her so she can return them. OMG- the endless issues caused by these kids are ridiculous. I'm so sick of it. I hope things work out better than you expect! Keep your head up!
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs, Lisa. Wish I knew how to help.
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sending many hugs - you are doing a great job of staying detached, and that is all you can do at this point. That and be the neutral zone for the kids if they need to call or come over for some sanity.