klmno
Active Member
I realize that I'm not the most effective communicator- especially when it comes to verbal communication. But I need to relay this phone conversation in order to vent and if someone can stay awake to read it all, I'd love to hear any ideas on how to bridge the communicaation gap between me and the school. The only big thing I can see is that I am of the opinion that mood cycling effects more than just behavior and that when it is effecting grades, ability to get to school, ability to do homework and classwork, etc., that the iep should encompass that and that IDEA requires someone knowledgable in the disability to be involved in the iep team, not necessarily there all the time, but an educational specialist who has no understanding of mood disorders (she just thinks she does- but if she thinks mood cycling is only a behavior, she doesn't understand it) is not meeting that requirement. It appears to me that the entire school thinks that all they have to address is behavior because the work completion issue and everything else is "behavior" related and that the educ. sp. is meeting the IDEA requirement. No mention is ever given to neuropsychologist test results that indicate memory and organizational issues and no mention is ever given to side effects of medications (cognitive dulling). So, here is how this morning's phone call from the educ. spec. went....
She said she understood my concerns about other people having access to the MDE report or reading it and that I didnt want it in difficult childs file. I elaborated on why by saying some people may have great intentions but they try to discuss details with difficult child but they are not familiar enough to know the best way to approach him and they are not trained counselors and they do not know how we have already been presenting things to difficult child, so when they start presenting things a completely different way it can really mess him up and send things backwards. I said we have had bad experiences with this in the past and I have learned that as well intentioned as people might be, sometimes they just dont need more information that they dont know how to handle appropriately. And, there are others who try to use it against him by telling difficult child that they just dont believe it, they think he is just intentionally doing things, and so on. She said she understood.
She then proceeds to say that this is why she doesnt think teachers should know about any bipolar diagnosis and that she had reviewed the report and it says he doesnt have a bipolar diagnosis and that she agrees with it. She said she had looked through difficult childs record, went back and reviewed the report again, and she agrees that the diagnosis is Adjustment Disorder because that all seems to fall into place so this would be her diagnosis, too, and she doesnt believe he is bipolar (she apparently has never heard of adolescent onset). (Mind you, in the Mar. 17th meeting they did agree that the psychiatrists agreed on the treatment plan to address the mood cycling and this meant that it had to be treated as bipolar, at least for right now.) I said it is correct that it falls into place and whether they call it bipolar or not is not the biggest issue. I reminded her that psychiatrist does have difficult child diagnosed with bipolar (she has seen that in writing as well) and the bipolar label is just dependent on where the line is drawn in criteria, but it is clear that difficult child is cycling, he does have manic and depressive periods and that MDE acknowledged that as well. I told her that both psychiatrists- regular and MDE- have since conferred about difficult child again, that Im not sure how many times they have discussed his case but I know it has been more than once. They both agree that difficult child needs to be on a mood stabilizer, that MDE psychiatric has it in her report that he does need one, at least for right now, and I definitely dont think regular psychiatrist would be prescribing them for difficult child if he wasnt sure that he needed it.
She said one problem that she saw with this is that if teachers were informed that difficult child had bipolar that they would singling him out and treating him differently and that it didnt seem to be the best answer when on the one hand, I am asking for him not to be singled out and treated differently and I dont want them to have all this information and access to this report by it being in his file but on the other hand, I am asking for them to know about it. I said I didnt want them to have more information until they had received a little more training on it and that is part of the reason I had requested a specialist in mood disorders be brought in. And, I really didnt care if teachers knew what label there was but they did need to know that there are more things going on with him that arent just intentional behavior. She said the teachers already had received some training on mood disorders and they had been taught certain things to look for pertaining to students with bipolar and because of what they had been taught, she didnt think it would be a good idea for them to hear that difficult child is or could be bipolar and she thought they should only be aware of the behavior component. So, she didnt understand exactly what I wanted.
I said that if the teachers had been taught something that lead them to believe or that has left them thinking that all kids with bipolar or cycling are going to walk into the school and be Cho next week, then they were taught wrong and maybe that is the problem. She started to say something like, Well, how do you solve that if the teachers will approach it this way and I said that is why I thought they needed to be taught differently. I went on to say that I want the teachers to be taught enough to know how to educate my child the same way as any other parent of a child on an IEP- they need to be knowledgable enough about what is going on specifically with the child to be able to help them and educate them and just like parents of kids with ADHD and Autism or anything else, I expect the teachers to be able to handle that knowledge professionally, whether it is the diagnosis or information that is more specific to that child, and use it to educate them, not single anyone out. And, I dont think that keeping information about a child from the teacher simply because that teacher has been lead to believe certain things or taught a certain thing is an appropriate permanent answer because it only encourages them to keep believing that way and that isnt helping the child that has the problem at all. She asked then what was I asking for and I said for someone to be brought in to teach them differently. She said, Oh, you want me to contact Dr. XXX? and all I could do was let out a big sigh- she had told me on Mar. 17th that this is what she would do first, along with reviewing the information that I had provided, and that no action would be taken, except discussing things with the principal, until she had done those things and we touched base again. Instead, she took the info and met with several people at school.
She said, going back to the behavior component, one of the reasons she had met with sd case manager was to discuss the way teachers were reporting things. (My issue on Mar. 17th was that things were being reported and conveyed to me inconsistently in a way that portrayed things inaccurately in difficult childs record- it wasnt necessarily the behavior reports, it was all types of communication. Knowing this, she still decided for herself to diagnose him herself and use the school record to do it.) She said they had come up with the idea of the teachers using a number scale instead of words to report difficult childs behavior and that they could submit this differently than emailing me the weekly behavior reports like they had been doing. I said that it really frustrates me that this has gone back again to just wanting to talk about behavior and that there was a lot more to this than just behavior. She said they could only deal with symptoms and his symptom at school was behavior (she didnt mention the problem with grades this year that is not a direct result of behavior but indicative of a problem). She said she was aware that his behavior hadnt been a big issue this year like it was last year. She said his IEP was based on behavior (which is another thing I had requested- the specialist in mood disorders be asked to review evaluations, IEP, etc., including classification now that diagnosis has changed from when IEP was first established). I said, Well, the behavior reports were the schools issue, not mine, I didnt asked for them in the first place and I dont really give two cents if they report it with a number or a word and I dont care right now if they quit doing them altogether. There are a lot bigger problems here, I have a sick child at home right now, I couldnt care less how they choose to write down good kid or bad kid for the day, this really isnt the point to me and I cant believe we are having this conversation I have heard the schools position on things for going on 3 years now and it is pointless to bring someone else in from the school district because it will be the same conversation again, I dont really want to hear the same things anymore, I have heard them, I know what the schools position is, this is why I asked for a third party and not the schools Educational Specialist, and doing nothing but having meeting after meeting to discuss behavior and how it is reported has gotten to the point of beating a dead horse.
She asked about difficult child being at home and the computer incident and I explained he had been on suspension but is off suspension but having medication issues right now. I said I needed to go and check on him. She said that she didnt know what else she could do then, that she had sincerely tried to help and had explained to sd case manager and the school administrators that I sincerely loved my child and that he was my baby. I just said Sheesh, well, I met with you and Ms. YYYY on Mar. 17 to lay out my concerns and we discussed those things and it has just come back to the same point it always does so I will just have to look elsewhere for a different answer. She said then she didnt think she could do anything else right now but she was available if I had any questions or wanted to discuss anything else, I could call her, but she would let me go so I could check on difficult child. I said thank you, I appreciate that.
Did anyone survive this read?? LOL
She said she understood my concerns about other people having access to the MDE report or reading it and that I didnt want it in difficult childs file. I elaborated on why by saying some people may have great intentions but they try to discuss details with difficult child but they are not familiar enough to know the best way to approach him and they are not trained counselors and they do not know how we have already been presenting things to difficult child, so when they start presenting things a completely different way it can really mess him up and send things backwards. I said we have had bad experiences with this in the past and I have learned that as well intentioned as people might be, sometimes they just dont need more information that they dont know how to handle appropriately. And, there are others who try to use it against him by telling difficult child that they just dont believe it, they think he is just intentionally doing things, and so on. She said she understood.
She then proceeds to say that this is why she doesnt think teachers should know about any bipolar diagnosis and that she had reviewed the report and it says he doesnt have a bipolar diagnosis and that she agrees with it. She said she had looked through difficult childs record, went back and reviewed the report again, and she agrees that the diagnosis is Adjustment Disorder because that all seems to fall into place so this would be her diagnosis, too, and she doesnt believe he is bipolar (she apparently has never heard of adolescent onset). (Mind you, in the Mar. 17th meeting they did agree that the psychiatrists agreed on the treatment plan to address the mood cycling and this meant that it had to be treated as bipolar, at least for right now.) I said it is correct that it falls into place and whether they call it bipolar or not is not the biggest issue. I reminded her that psychiatrist does have difficult child diagnosed with bipolar (she has seen that in writing as well) and the bipolar label is just dependent on where the line is drawn in criteria, but it is clear that difficult child is cycling, he does have manic and depressive periods and that MDE acknowledged that as well. I told her that both psychiatrists- regular and MDE- have since conferred about difficult child again, that Im not sure how many times they have discussed his case but I know it has been more than once. They both agree that difficult child needs to be on a mood stabilizer, that MDE psychiatric has it in her report that he does need one, at least for right now, and I definitely dont think regular psychiatrist would be prescribing them for difficult child if he wasnt sure that he needed it.
She said one problem that she saw with this is that if teachers were informed that difficult child had bipolar that they would singling him out and treating him differently and that it didnt seem to be the best answer when on the one hand, I am asking for him not to be singled out and treated differently and I dont want them to have all this information and access to this report by it being in his file but on the other hand, I am asking for them to know about it. I said I didnt want them to have more information until they had received a little more training on it and that is part of the reason I had requested a specialist in mood disorders be brought in. And, I really didnt care if teachers knew what label there was but they did need to know that there are more things going on with him that arent just intentional behavior. She said the teachers already had received some training on mood disorders and they had been taught certain things to look for pertaining to students with bipolar and because of what they had been taught, she didnt think it would be a good idea for them to hear that difficult child is or could be bipolar and she thought they should only be aware of the behavior component. So, she didnt understand exactly what I wanted.
I said that if the teachers had been taught something that lead them to believe or that has left them thinking that all kids with bipolar or cycling are going to walk into the school and be Cho next week, then they were taught wrong and maybe that is the problem. She started to say something like, Well, how do you solve that if the teachers will approach it this way and I said that is why I thought they needed to be taught differently. I went on to say that I want the teachers to be taught enough to know how to educate my child the same way as any other parent of a child on an IEP- they need to be knowledgable enough about what is going on specifically with the child to be able to help them and educate them and just like parents of kids with ADHD and Autism or anything else, I expect the teachers to be able to handle that knowledge professionally, whether it is the diagnosis or information that is more specific to that child, and use it to educate them, not single anyone out. And, I dont think that keeping information about a child from the teacher simply because that teacher has been lead to believe certain things or taught a certain thing is an appropriate permanent answer because it only encourages them to keep believing that way and that isnt helping the child that has the problem at all. She asked then what was I asking for and I said for someone to be brought in to teach them differently. She said, Oh, you want me to contact Dr. XXX? and all I could do was let out a big sigh- she had told me on Mar. 17th that this is what she would do first, along with reviewing the information that I had provided, and that no action would be taken, except discussing things with the principal, until she had done those things and we touched base again. Instead, she took the info and met with several people at school.
She said, going back to the behavior component, one of the reasons she had met with sd case manager was to discuss the way teachers were reporting things. (My issue on Mar. 17th was that things were being reported and conveyed to me inconsistently in a way that portrayed things inaccurately in difficult childs record- it wasnt necessarily the behavior reports, it was all types of communication. Knowing this, she still decided for herself to diagnose him herself and use the school record to do it.) She said they had come up with the idea of the teachers using a number scale instead of words to report difficult childs behavior and that they could submit this differently than emailing me the weekly behavior reports like they had been doing. I said that it really frustrates me that this has gone back again to just wanting to talk about behavior and that there was a lot more to this than just behavior. She said they could only deal with symptoms and his symptom at school was behavior (she didnt mention the problem with grades this year that is not a direct result of behavior but indicative of a problem). She said she was aware that his behavior hadnt been a big issue this year like it was last year. She said his IEP was based on behavior (which is another thing I had requested- the specialist in mood disorders be asked to review evaluations, IEP, etc., including classification now that diagnosis has changed from when IEP was first established). I said, Well, the behavior reports were the schools issue, not mine, I didnt asked for them in the first place and I dont really give two cents if they report it with a number or a word and I dont care right now if they quit doing them altogether. There are a lot bigger problems here, I have a sick child at home right now, I couldnt care less how they choose to write down good kid or bad kid for the day, this really isnt the point to me and I cant believe we are having this conversation I have heard the schools position on things for going on 3 years now and it is pointless to bring someone else in from the school district because it will be the same conversation again, I dont really want to hear the same things anymore, I have heard them, I know what the schools position is, this is why I asked for a third party and not the schools Educational Specialist, and doing nothing but having meeting after meeting to discuss behavior and how it is reported has gotten to the point of beating a dead horse.
She asked about difficult child being at home and the computer incident and I explained he had been on suspension but is off suspension but having medication issues right now. I said I needed to go and check on him. She said that she didnt know what else she could do then, that she had sincerely tried to help and had explained to sd case manager and the school administrators that I sincerely loved my child and that he was my baby. I just said Sheesh, well, I met with you and Ms. YYYY on Mar. 17 to lay out my concerns and we discussed those things and it has just come back to the same point it always does so I will just have to look elsewhere for a different answer. She said then she didnt think she could do anything else right now but she was available if I had any questions or wanted to discuss anything else, I could call her, but she would let me go so I could check on difficult child. I said thank you, I appreciate that.
Did anyone survive this read?? LOL