Thursday was the meeting with PO for precourt. It was tough. The PO ended by saying she did not know what she was going to recommend.....so we live in the not knowing zone for 7 more days! She is going to read all the file-so maybe she is really going to do her best (my trust level is zilch). difficult child melted down and showed her illness with the cyclical talk. She even had the PO is tears when she described her self-loathing and lack of regard for her life. She said again, "Nothing works to stop this pain except when I sexual act out or smoke pot, and that only last a little while" And of course I am thinking, you have to work it and work it and stay with it. She's a teen and I can't imagine how hard it would be to deal with. I have empathy but.....either you want to live well or you want to end up dead or in jail??? Her thinking is so off-it was not manipulation going on, trust me, it was this lack of connection between point A and point B. I don't know why I continue to be shocked everytime I see this. In her favor, she is registered for community college, has paid some money to her brother (for totalling and stealing his car), and at least got the GED. The time between her relapses has also increased. A work camp where she could earn money was mentioned. Secure care (jail) was mentioned. Going to school and working with parole conditions was mentioned. And further counseling on the outside was mentioned as part of this (difficult child again refusing to go after picking this last person). In this state she can stay under JJS until age 21. I was glad to hear this. I am so exhausted fromthe living in the unknown zone. I swear that is part of the punishment for difficult child and from the courts aimed at us as parents.