Feeling Helpless
Oldie but Goodie
Hi!
I have been reading this site for many weeks but have failed every time I try to post a message. I sympathize with each and every one of you. It is nice to finally find a place where people understand what you are talking about. Since I have tried to post and it is taking all my time I will try to be a little briefer.
My difficult child is 7 and in 2nd grade.He is our grandson that we are raising. I have 3 grown children who have turned out to be okay Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adults. My difficult child has seen a counselor from a childrens home who only played legos with him. He has been seeing a pediatrician for a little over a year who only writes his prescription once a month and has never seen him again since he diagnosed him with ADHD.Just changed doctors this past month. My difficult child takes Concerta 36 mg. which does seem to help him sit still in school and focus. He has been seeing a psychologist for about 4 months and all she keeps telling us is we seem to be doing everything right and to be patient.My patience is wearing mighty thin.
I began to think there was something else wrong with my difficult child and that is when I did my own research and found out that he has ODD. To make a long story short my difficult child has had problems since he was able to walk.He got kicked off hte school bus in kindergarten, been in ISS in 1st grade and now in second grade I have been to see the principal way too msny times.Her talks back to his teacher,refuses to do his work,and annoys the other children.The principal let me know last week that that my difficult child was suspended from school the next day because he threatened to kill a little boy at school because the little boy told my difficult child that he was mad all the time and because my difficult child was still mad about an incident that happened a couple of weeks proir to this when my difficult child lost his ice cream and he blamed the little boy for this and was still angry.
My husband and I took him to the emergency room at a childrens hospital and he was diagnosed with ADHD/Mood disorder and we awaiting to see a psychiatrist which could take 6 to 8 weeks.The principal has set it up for a diagnotician to observe him in class to come up with a behavioural plan for his teacher.My difficult child is still getting good grades in school and only has some reading intervention.
The new doctor suggested that we do not give him his medication on the weekends and holidays because he he says he will get used to the medications and they will stop working.We have done this for the past 2 weeks but it has been hell on the weekends.
I have been keeping a journal for about 3 weeks to figure out what triggers my difficult child to get so angry but have not come to any conclusions yet. It could be almost anything that triggers his mood.I am reading The Explosive Child right now. We have tried rewards and punishment, reasoning,spankings, timeouts, breathing exercises,talking,taking things away and nothing has made a difference.
Me and my husband have numerous arguments over how to deal with him.There is always tension in our home and we have had a lot of sleepless nights. I take sleeping pills to get any rest at all. These tantrms are making me physically ill and it has even started to affect my performance at work.
We have total meltdowns almost monthly now and we have had to restrain our difficult child to keep him from banging his head on the wall or kicking us. He has threatened to punch me in the face, balled up his fists at his daddy, and tried to stab his mother in the neck with a pencil about 6 months ago. He has angry days every days. We just can not predict to what degree he will go to each day.
My difficult child had a meltdown last night because he had not finished his homework and wanted to play outside. He had to be restrained to keep him in the house.It was of course dark by this time and could not have went outside even if we had given in. My husband was ready to take him to the hospital and I talked him out of it. Of course we heard the usual about how he hates us and we make his life miserable and called every name in the book. Took 2 and a hlf hhours to calm him down. I do not know if I can wait 6 to 8 weeks to see a psychiatrist.
Of course my difficult child has no friends because he bosses other kids around and they quit playing with him. He hates sports. The only thing I have found he likes is to draw. He has a fear about getting water on his face. He plays outside unrtil an insect flies by him and he wants to come inside.He has an obsession about spider man to the point of thinking he has special powers and he is going to make everyone pay that is making him miserable. He even told me that he wants to ask santa claus for more special powers.
How do maintain some normalcy and your sanity while dealing with a difficult child? Thanks for listening and good luck to everyone out ther.
I have been reading this site for many weeks but have failed every time I try to post a message. I sympathize with each and every one of you. It is nice to finally find a place where people understand what you are talking about. Since I have tried to post and it is taking all my time I will try to be a little briefer.
My difficult child is 7 and in 2nd grade.He is our grandson that we are raising. I have 3 grown children who have turned out to be okay Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) adults. My difficult child has seen a counselor from a childrens home who only played legos with him. He has been seeing a pediatrician for a little over a year who only writes his prescription once a month and has never seen him again since he diagnosed him with ADHD.Just changed doctors this past month. My difficult child takes Concerta 36 mg. which does seem to help him sit still in school and focus. He has been seeing a psychologist for about 4 months and all she keeps telling us is we seem to be doing everything right and to be patient.My patience is wearing mighty thin.
I began to think there was something else wrong with my difficult child and that is when I did my own research and found out that he has ODD. To make a long story short my difficult child has had problems since he was able to walk.He got kicked off hte school bus in kindergarten, been in ISS in 1st grade and now in second grade I have been to see the principal way too msny times.Her talks back to his teacher,refuses to do his work,and annoys the other children.The principal let me know last week that that my difficult child was suspended from school the next day because he threatened to kill a little boy at school because the little boy told my difficult child that he was mad all the time and because my difficult child was still mad about an incident that happened a couple of weeks proir to this when my difficult child lost his ice cream and he blamed the little boy for this and was still angry.
My husband and I took him to the emergency room at a childrens hospital and he was diagnosed with ADHD/Mood disorder and we awaiting to see a psychiatrist which could take 6 to 8 weeks.The principal has set it up for a diagnotician to observe him in class to come up with a behavioural plan for his teacher.My difficult child is still getting good grades in school and only has some reading intervention.
The new doctor suggested that we do not give him his medication on the weekends and holidays because he he says he will get used to the medications and they will stop working.We have done this for the past 2 weeks but it has been hell on the weekends.
I have been keeping a journal for about 3 weeks to figure out what triggers my difficult child to get so angry but have not come to any conclusions yet. It could be almost anything that triggers his mood.I am reading The Explosive Child right now. We have tried rewards and punishment, reasoning,spankings, timeouts, breathing exercises,talking,taking things away and nothing has made a difference.
Me and my husband have numerous arguments over how to deal with him.There is always tension in our home and we have had a lot of sleepless nights. I take sleeping pills to get any rest at all. These tantrms are making me physically ill and it has even started to affect my performance at work.
We have total meltdowns almost monthly now and we have had to restrain our difficult child to keep him from banging his head on the wall or kicking us. He has threatened to punch me in the face, balled up his fists at his daddy, and tried to stab his mother in the neck with a pencil about 6 months ago. He has angry days every days. We just can not predict to what degree he will go to each day.
My difficult child had a meltdown last night because he had not finished his homework and wanted to play outside. He had to be restrained to keep him in the house.It was of course dark by this time and could not have went outside even if we had given in. My husband was ready to take him to the hospital and I talked him out of it. Of course we heard the usual about how he hates us and we make his life miserable and called every name in the book. Took 2 and a hlf hhours to calm him down. I do not know if I can wait 6 to 8 weeks to see a psychiatrist.
Of course my difficult child has no friends because he bosses other kids around and they quit playing with him. He hates sports. The only thing I have found he likes is to draw. He has a fear about getting water on his face. He plays outside unrtil an insect flies by him and he wants to come inside.He has an obsession about spider man to the point of thinking he has special powers and he is going to make everyone pay that is making him miserable. He even told me that he wants to ask santa claus for more special powers.
How do maintain some normalcy and your sanity while dealing with a difficult child? Thanks for listening and good luck to everyone out ther.