Minor rant...Difficult Child sure knows how to push my buttons...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    so...Difficult Child calls me on the phone about something, we talk, then she says, "just a minute, I am putting you on speaker phone, Kaylee (her 17yo friend) wants to talk to you". So then Kaylee announces "I am having a baby!" I manage to say "well, that's big news, I hope things go well."

    Why would Difficult Child put me in that spot?? She knows how I feel about single teen girls getting pregnant, especially with short term relationships. I guess I should feel proud I managed to say what I did. At least I didnt say "good news". Or "I am so sorry!!"

    Ugghh... I don't think I could be so gracious if Difficult Child tells me that in the near future...

  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    How perplexing. I do not understand either.

    What happened about the paraphernalia you found?

    Take care.
  3. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Above mentioned Difficult Child is my oldest Difficult Child...she is 18 and doesn't live at home now. She lives with my son, her step dad.

    Youngest Difficult Child has been following the rules...and I check her room every day when she is at school or work.

    No fun having Difficult Child teens when you are an official senior citizen.

  4. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    KSM. Did you insist on a drug test?
  5. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We see the doctor next week...it will probably be too late to catch anything. My Son said the small piece or charred foil I found was used as a "screen" to smoke pot... I had some ashes that was in the container...and he said it only smelled of pot...

    But she is under a lot of scrutiny.

  6. so ready to live

    so ready to live Active Member

    Hi KSM>
    ...because you can get the monkey off your back but the circus never leaves town...
    YOU DID GREAT! what a wonderful response to her. Cordial, real etc, etc. Today you are my hero for holding it together and trying to influence one more generation for good. Prayers.
  7. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    At least I only have a two ring circus and two monkeys!!! If the circus doesn't leave town, maybe I should!!

  8. jetsam

    jetsam Member

    Lol I love that! I may have to use that one day! yup my life is a 2 ring circus too.
  9. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Well..she put you on the spot cause she can!!

    Good response...everyone deserves celebration.

    I'm stuck in resentment mode...so, I'm right in one of those circus rings.
  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Well, at least it's not YOUR difficult child, KSM!
  11. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    My niece is set to have her 5th child in a few months. She isn't even out of her 20's yet.

    Of course, she is married--to another difficult child!
  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    AppleCori...but...in June she made an appointment with her OB/GYN because she thought she had broken her Implanon device, and wanted to get it checked before she lost her medical card. I waited in the lobby. She came out with a bandage on her arm. On the drive home she tells me she had it removed. So I said, she put a new one in, right? "No, I just couldn't handle doing that today!" Mind you, I drove her 60 miles to the appointment...one way... I asked if she got an Rx for BC pills. NOpe...that made her gain weight. Sigh... I informed her that it didn't... She thought the depo shot every 3 months made her gain (only had one injection) so that is why we went with the Implanon device good for several years. I wanted all this under control since she turned 18.

    She gets so excited when a friend ends up pregnant...sits at the hospital during labor and delivery...offers to baby sit... And these aren't even close friends...sigh... The writing is probably on the wall. I hate it!

  13. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    Has she actually been in the room with them during labor and delivery?

    You would think that would scare her--the pain and blood and all that.

    Might be worth another try to get her in to the doctor. Even if you end up paying, might be worth it.
  14. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I believe she could have BC for free then our insurance. We have never paid for the pills, the depo shot or the implant...

    And no, she has never been in the room during late labor and delivery...she probably would if they let her... Sigh...

  15. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You can't stop her from doing what she wants. All you can do is decide how much involvement you want to have should she have a baby. That is totally up to you. You are not required to babysit, clothe, or house her and a baby.
  16. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    We have already told both girls...we are NOT raising a third generation. 1.5 years... Then husband and I can try to have a few years of real retirement... Travel... Volunteer...

    We will definitely set guidelines... Only babysitting when we want to...not being responsible for raising another child! But be a real grandparent. Spoiling, and handing them back over.

    That is what I regret most...our granddaughters lost their only "real" grandparents and their "parents" and we had to be the ones who set boundaries, made them do homework, kept on them to get them school. But we couldn't be the fun grandparents any more... Someone had to parent...and we stepped up. But we both lost out on the relationship we used to have.

  17. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    At least she warned you that you were on speaker.

    My god daughter's friend had a baby not too long after her college graduation. We saw the writing on the wall with her, too. She was focused on babies. Said she didn't want to go to college, that she just wanted to work in a daycare taking care of babies.

    Her baby is now almost a year old. She and her baby daddy have broken up and he doesn't pay child support. She has been through multiple jobs and is now selling plasma for money. Her mother set down the law. She isn't free child care, she isn't financially responsible for the baby. She takes the baby when she wants to, she buys the baby what she wants to.

    Meanwhile, my god daughter started her 2nd year in college, has a part time job, a boyfriend, and a car and her friend can't understand why she doesn't want to hang out with her any more.
  18. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    For being put on the spot you handled it really well.

  19. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    In my little story I meant to say she had the baby after HIGH SCHOOL graduation.
  20. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    Oh that because after your college graduation does not seem that bad being 25 and all with a job. That her baby daddy abandoned her well how many of members here had this issue. Fool me once shame on you. When you are fooled twice is the problem.