My dad is dying

[Tiapet]

I'm sorry Terry. I'm sure you will make the right decision when the time comes that you need to.

 

[DDD]

Sending caring thoughts your way. I am so very impressed with your Sister as you've written before about her daily struggles with-o complaint. The tone of the letter is just so "loving" and "inclusive". I hope the family is able to accept the loss of your Dad and manage to stay close. Hugs. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Terry, I am so sorry about your dad. I hope I am not overstepping my bounds but I think your family is doing the right thing in refusing the feeding tube and going hospice and giving him as much morphine as it takes to keep him pain free right now. Thankfully I was saved the decision of placing the feeding tube or not because my mom died of a heart attack about two or three months before that would have become necessary. I am so glad. I would have refused it though. I have a feeling the nursing home would have fought me on it though.

This is also my biggest fear. God bless your family.

 

[Nancy]

Terry I am so sorry. Having gone through this with three parents/in-laws I know this process is difficult to watch. Your sister sounds very compassionate and I'm glad you have support. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man who cared about his family deeply.

Hugs,
Nancy

 

[BusynMember]

Terry, sending you prayers and hugs.

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's failing health.

I think you and your sister should still rent the cabin soon, just to drink that wine and do what you need to. I think your dad would want that.

Hugs.

 

[trinityroyal]

I'm so very sorry Terry.
Sending many gentle hugs.
Trinity

 

[Star*]

Not hard to see where you draw such strength and love from in your own life Terry, you're a lot like your Mom. (((Hugs))))

 

[klmno]

I'm sorry I'm so late to this- many caring thoughts being sent your way. There is no easy way to go thru it but you remain in my thoughts.

 

[Nomad]

I'm sorry. Such a hard thing to go through. You have to do what you feel is best for you. How fortunate that your sister is so strong.
Be prepared for a sudden change in status. It just often seems to go that way. I know for my cousin (although I'm sure everyone is different...we are all unique), when they gave her morphine, she passed rather quickly. I agree, it is best that they are in little to no pain, comfortable and have dignity.
Sending many ((((hugs))))

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you. I got a call on my cell ph with-a 651 area code a few min ago and nearly had a heart attack. Turned out to be an old HS friend who butt-dialed me! Boy, what a relief.

I also made the decision today not to bring P with-me. I cannot emotionally and physically handle her at this point. I visited her today and she is very forgetful. I am wondering how far I can push this memory thing and just not talk about Dad at all ... ever ... and maybe she won't ever have to know he died. (Or especially at the moment, that he is dying.)

One day at a time.

 

[greenrene]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad... Sounds like your sister is a good person to have in his corner. Stay strong, have peace, cry when you have to, and cherish your memories.

 

[KTMom91]

I'm so sorry, Terry. Sending hugs and good thoughts.

 

[Hound dog]

Terry, you do what you need to do about P and don't worry about it. Given her own memory issues, you could probably skirt the issue long enough until you're better ready to handle telling her IF you decide to tell her. You have enough stress going on right now, no need to add to it.

(((hugs)))

 

[klmno]

One day at a time.

I'm getting to the point where I think that's the answer to all problems!

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Terry,

I'm so sorry.... Praying for your dad to be free of pain, at peace... Keeping you close in my thoughts and hoping you're able to find comfort and strength surrounded by friends, family... Many hugs, much love being sent your way... SFR

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you all.
Today is much better.
Last night, for whatever reason, I only slept for 10 min at a time and at 12:30, finally got up to take something. I think I was overstimulated.
My headache is 80% gone, which helps.
difficult child is a bit calmer.
I'm not teary eyed.
And I spent a cpl hrs last night working on a eulogy for Dad, incl a cpl of poems. I did not speak at Mom's funeral. I just had nothing to say.
I know that my little sister, Molly, will speak. She's been down this road for so long, she could and should write a book on it.
She's done a lot of volunteer work and fundraising for Alzheimer's, too.

Yesterday, I stopped by a cafe' where my paintings are hanging, to pick up some toffee covered almonds I'd ordered. In line, I started to chat with-a lady I knew just from sight, and it turns out that she works for the local Alzheimer's Assoc and that her mother has Alzheimer's. It really lifted my day to be able to connect with-her. Funny coincidence. But I say when life puts things like that in your path, go for it!

 

[witzend]

I'm getting to the point where I think that's the answer to all problems!

One day at a time is sometimes the only way we can get through. I think in the long run it also helps us to see how precious every day is...

Terry, I'm glad that you are having a better day.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you.
My sister called today and at this moment, they are moving Dad to a nursing home with-a hospice. She said he is jaundiced and can only speak a few words.

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

I am SO SORRY. I think you have made a very wise decision re; P. Know that you are all in my prayers.