My DEX...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Big Bad Kitty, Oct 25, 2007.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    The one who just got out of jail

    The one who owes me $17,000 in child support

    The one who has 8 kids

    The one whose new g/f has him by the hoo-hoos, because she is working and he is not, but she keeps him there to watch their not cute kid, and then when she comes home she tells him to jump and he does, and then she tells him to fetch and he does, and then she tells him if and when he can see his other kids because it has to suit her precious princess patootie JUST RIGHT

    Well, he and said psycho g/f and child just moved.

    Across the street from me.

    Seriously. My complex is on the SE corner of the intersection. If you go kitty corner to the NW corner of the intersection, then go W about 2 blocks, THAT complex is the one that they just moved into this past weekend.

    Let me count the ways in which this is sucky.

    Tink will see him this weekend, and she will then know that he lives close enough that I could pretty much stand on the balcony and just throw her to his house. But I bet she does not see him any more often than she did when he was 1/2 hour away. Remember, G/F writes, directs, and produces his every move.

    Tink is going to want him to attend school functions, and why shouldn't he? He is RIGHT HERE. If the Queen of Hearts is gone, what does she care? Nope. he is not allowed to see me or talk to me if she is not around. And it's not like he could leave and do it himself, because he has no car.

    Oh, no. It is set up just right for her. She has the car, the apt in her name, the job. He "gets" to stay there. Of course, he dug himself this hole ALL by himself. But when it affects Tink, that's when it upsets me.

    This really sticks in my craw. And I was SO happy about my new home.
     
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    You are right, this is a sucky move. Do all that you can possibly do to maintain your own serenity. There is nothing else you can do to make this faux relationship with Tink's father better for her in any way. She is going to have to learn that even when he's closer in proximity, thier relationship is limited. It totally blows (I know, I had to do this with my exh) but he has proven that he is barely capable of giving the bare minimum and he's weak.

    His girlfriend is evil and selfish and paranoid and all those other horrid things. But is she wholly to blame for exh's lack of involvement in Tink's life?

    Just for ha-ha's, if you took the girlfriend out of the equation, would exh be a better father to Tink?

    It just breaks your heart to see them so confused and hurt by their own parent. God, I just remember holding my easy child until she cried herself to sleep one night when she was about 5 and waited until 10PM for her dad to pick her up. I finally convinced her she should lay down for a while and she just cried and cried. Ugh.

    Sorry thier move has taken away some of your joy about the new digs. Try not to allow them to ruin it. Hugs to Tink.
     
  3. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    :smile: I don't think I could handle that!! ((((Hugs))) to you & Tink.

    Peace
     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ok now no Michael Jackson moves of kids hanging off balconies.
    let tink do it in her own sweet way. I know you want to protect her fragile lil emotions and rightfully so. I bet her daddy gets some nerve up and wants her more as time goes on.

    I told Kaleb his dad went to jail after talking with a counselor.
    meanwhile two days later Kaleb was still asking to go see his dad at his apartment. I asked ant to call him and he said NO. he said talking to Kaleb brings pain because he cannot be a father to him.

    my guess is Kaleb will not give up and will continue to ask for Ant.

    Hope the new "neighbors" behave themselves.
     
  5. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    DHs ex once threatened to rent the house across the street. Thank God we moved and are surrounded by people who own their homes.

    I would be a tad peeved if I were you. This is sucky.
     
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Jo - DEX is a great father to Tink, as far as spending time with her goes. Not so much when it comes to support. But he ALWAYS spent time with his kids.

    Not only does he hardly see Tink, but he has not seen his other kids in months. He has 3 older sons (2 by J and 1 by C) that live quite a ways south of us, like 45 minutes. There was a period of time when DEX has a conversion van where he would come pick up Tink (of course the g/f, M, would be in the van, and in fact he would have to park the van in the middle of the parking lot so that she could watch my door to make sure he did not go in my apartment), the they would go to J's and pick up 2 brothers, then go to C's and get the last brother. And of course, DEX & M's baby was in the van too. Well then the van broke down, and all there was to drive was M's car. Room for 3 and a car seat, or 5 with no car seat. So DEX, M, and baby would come to get Tink. Brothers stopped coming. Why? M would not stay home with baby so DEX could go get brothers in car with Tink. He could not be without her in the presence of any of his X's.

    So Tink has not seen her older brothers in ages. This whole thing stinks. She's psycho.
     
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JoG</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It just breaks your heart to see them so confused and hurt by their own parent. God, I just remember holding my easy child until she cried herself to sleep one night when she was about 5 and waited until 10PM for her dad to pick her up. I finally convinced her she should lay down for a while and she just cried and cried. Ugh.

    Sorry thier move has taken away some of your joy about the new digs. Try not to allow them to ruin it. Hugs to Tink. </div></div>

    Yeah. I remember difficult child and easy child 2 sitting on their front porch with their bags packed waiting for wife's ex to pick them up for a promised with-e, this after he reappeared after disappearing for 9 months. They were so excited. The hours dragged by, no call, no way to contact him. So heartbreaking.

    Ditto on not letting him ruin the new place. He and evil g/f are not worth it.
     
  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ant'smom</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I asked ant to call him and he said NO. he said talking to Kaleb brings pain because he cannot be a father to him. </div></div>

    Now ain't that typical. "I can't stand the pain of talking to my kid because I failed him." I, me, my. What about Kaleb?!?!
     
  9. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    "What about Kaleb?"


    I was thinking the exact same thing. Kaleb does not care, as long as he could hear his voice.
     
  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    ant is only worried about his own pain and not Kaleb's or anyone else's. selfishness rules him
     
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    OMG.
    As if this planet isn't big enough.
    Arrrrrgh!
     
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Is there any way you can call and arrange for Tink to see her bros by talking iwth their moms? Just a thought, could the bros come over and play in the apt playground right outside their daddy's house? Yelling for him until mgmt makes him deal with them?

    I know, to hard on the boys, but geez, what an idiot. The day someone keeps me from one of my kids is the day they aren't in my life.

    But I only have kids with husband, so I guess I really odn't understand all this.

    Hugs to you and Tink.

    susie
     
  13. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Big Bad Kitty</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Jo - DEX is a great father to Tink, as far as spending time with her goes. Not so much when it comes to support. But he ALWAYS spent time with his kids. </div></div>

    OK Kitty, I really, really think this stinks. But I have a suggestion that MIGHT (I issue NO GUARANTEES here) set the stage for a solution or at least some fun! :wink: Bare with me here.

    Psycho girlfriend has a major jealous bone in the bod, correct?

    They just moved in across the way, correct?

    They are now "new neighbors", correct?

    What about some fresh baked cookies or a cake to "welcome them to the neighborhood" but addressed to HER?

    You come off as the nice guy (hey! Stop thinking Ex-lax instead of chocolate chips! Shame, shame! :wink: ), she'll have to respond, either mail them OR drop them off when she's there (supposedly respecting her wishes that he not see the ex's without her supervision). During the pleasantries, mention about how psyched Tink is to see that they're living so close. Let them know which pizza joint is best in the neighborhood as well as the best Chinese food that can be delivered.

    You know, kill HER with kindness!!! If anything, it'll drive her "nvts!"

    :rofl:

    I'm feeling your pain my friend and wish I could take some for you!

    Beth
     
  14. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    It sure makes you wonder why girlfriend would WANT to live so closely to you, doesn't it?? I guess not, considering she needs to keep an eye on everyone who comes into contact with exh, huh?

    Well, BBK, it sure is a shame that Tink's dad is so ruled by this evil woman. I'm sorry for you and Tink. What a raw deal.

    Make that place your own and enjoy it!

    Beth, that's an awesome idea, the cookies, but I would very hard pressed to do something nice for someone who has been so mean to my child.
     
  15. KFld

    KFld New Member

    And what were the chances of that happening?? Like one in a million. There was no place else for them to move? I feel your pain. I moved out of my house so I didn't have to see ex all the time. I think I would die if he moved accross the street.

    Please don't let him ruin the excitement of your new home.

    Is there anyway you could hang some extra curtains and keep Tink away from the windows and maybe she won't notice they are there??? :nonono:
     
  16. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: nvts</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
    What about some fresh baked cookies or a cake to "welcome them to the neighborhood" but addressed to HER?
    </div></div>
    :dance:
    Oh I would SO be doing this! But little evil me would pretend as if I have no clue psycho girlfriend has issues, and just become June Cleaver with her. "Telling her how wonderful it is you and her can be neighbors now." Bringing her recipes, maps to the local parks, coupons to the local stores. Just milking it. If she protested, I would feign ignorance.

    Unbelievable that in this big bad world, someone could not find a more appropriate boundary in which to reside in.
    Hang in there...........grrrrrrrr !!!!!
     
  17. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I know why they moved there, and it was not as a dig to me in the least. They were trying to move at the same time I was because they were having a hard time keeping up with the rent where they were. They needed to downsize.

    BUT, they had to find a place that took her section 8 voucher. Now, while I also have a similar voucher, let me say, I was given an opportunity that not many were by jumping ahead of the line because I was in transitional housing for so long. AND, I was in transitional housing because first I was in a DV shelter. So I paid the piper and I earned that voucher. The place I am in is condos, and the particular owner of my condo is renting to me per my last landlord's recommendation (I am a pretty good tenant).

    Psycho glitter-face has to go where the entire complex takes the voucher, and she was having a hard time finding any complexes with an opening. She happened to find one, and they were set to move there before I was set to move here. But I did not know that because everything is a big secret with them. So when I moved here, remember the comment about his tighty whiteys? I think my location had half to do with it, and the size had half to do with it.

    As far as his sons go, I do talk to C every now and then, and I talk to her son (my stepson). He even still calls my mom occasionally, and asks to talk to Copper and Tink. He NEVER got over his dad and me breaking up. He just turned 14. He spent some time in the psychiatric hospital himself last year. His diagnosis is bipolar and intermittant explosive disorder. I also believe that he is gay, I have thought so since the day I met him, and I think that he is struggling with his sexuality, poor thing. He is holding on to hope (ready?) that his dad and I will get back together. No his dad and his mom, his dad and me. And he does not want to see me before then because he is afraid his dad will get mad at him.

    As far as J goes, with the 2 younger boys, She doesn't really like me much. This is one chick who can hold a grudge. She still thinks I "stole" DEX from her. Ya. I wish to GOD I could talk to her and talk to those boys. K is 13 and B is 11. K is my boy. I mean, I love all those kids, but K...he & I had something special.

    Well I am getting teary eyed. My divorce with DEX was so much more than that. It meant the loss of those 3 beautiful boys. He never EVER went without seeing them when he was with me. In fact, he didn't even see C's son UNTIL he was with me.

    As far as the cookies go, I have sent goodies in the past, for holidays etc. Princess sparkle eyes throws it away.
     
  18. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Here is the latest.

    His cellphone is now disconnected. Their home phone is disconnected. If I want to talk to him, I have to call HER, Lady Fancy Face, on HER cell phone, and if the moon rises in the house of Gemini, anf if the sun is setting in Scorpio and is not shining too brightly on her fanny, she will let him know, and if she does not have cramps, he can use her HER phone to call me back.

    Pinch me folks. Did Christmas just come two months early this year?
     
  19. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sorry..to think I have been moaning about easy child's dad being in town for 3 days next weekend.

    Hope you can get things to a happy (ok I know I am stretching the word) co existance.

    I shudder to think if any of our exs were that close again. The difficult children bio mom was only two blocks away before and that was HORRIBLE.

    Rmember your home is your home. Enjoy it still. They can't take that away.

    Beth
     
  20. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh pleeaaazzzeee............this couple needs to be on Jerry Springer or something. Good grief.

    I think given their lack of phone, I would have to march over, with Tink in tow, every time Tink wants to see her Daddy. Day and night. Could be a reality check for Daddy-O. He might have a phone in no time. He might even find a better place to live, you never know!

    Then again, who am I kidding, people like this have a way of never, ever, getting it. It is like they are put on this planet just to be the consummate thorn in our side, especially if we used to love them. Sigh.
     
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