I have been dealing with so many emotions over the ordeal with my only son. Honestly, I will never truly be happy and cheerful because the weight of my son weighs heavily on me every minute of every day. I've learned how to COPE and adjust to the situation but my heart is heavy. But on a more humorous note I just had to write and talk about the wacky things that have happened this week. My boss told me that she needed help forming a relationship with one of our important customers. I already have a strong relationship with this customer but her being my boss she asked me to direct this customer towards her more. I asked how she wanted me to do that and she said "You could be less knowledgeable in answering her questions". Seriously? So do I dumb myself down to make her look better? I told her establishing a relationship with that customer was her problem, I was NOT going to do anything differently. Touche'! My boss is obviously jealous of my excellent rapport and customer service I provide to customers. Her problem not mine. I'm so done with people steamrolling all over me. Gets even better. I got home this evening and was relaxing and got a surprise text from my ex. Just said "Hi". Ok, quick recap on this... I dated this guy for a long time, he wanted to get married, I never felt it was right. We broke up once then got back together just to have companionship. We got along well and shared the same interests but he is very narcissistic (it's always all about him) and has a big ego. Well his ego took a major blow last year when he suddenly got fired. He claimed he had a lot of money but it was all lies, he was in debt like no other. When he got fired it all came crashing down around him and he started selling off everything because he was denied unemployment. Karma - he was an arrogant jerk to people who reported to him and higher ups didn't like this plus he fudged some numbers on monthly reports and got caught. I stood by his side after he got fired and actually saw a really nice guy emerge as he became very humble and appreciative, he said I was an angel because I was there for him emotionally, encouraging him that he will be ok, another door will open, etc. Then shortly after that - out of the blue he stopped calling me. Ignored my texts so I just figured he was embarrassed losing everything and being unemployed. I left him alone and went on with my life. So today when he texted me "Hi". I texted him back "Unavailable, in a relationship" and sent a photo of me and a goodlooking coworker of mine. Sorry - I just couldn't resist. This was a Christmas present in itself because the guy did me wrong many times and I was nice and classy each time just ending things in peace. I waited for this moment - the jerk thinks he can just pop back up in my life? Awww hell no. He then tried calling me but I've had his number blocked on my cell since last year so it went to voicemail. No message just a brief sound of a radio playing in his car. I'm lonely, I'm sad about the people I've loved and cared for who treated me bad but I will never be desperate for a relationship with anyone who treats me poorly. I value myself way too much. Here is the craziest thing that happened. Since I've kicked my son out, I've basically kept the door to his room shut. I'm going in there every now and then to clean small sections and box up his things but say the last 4-5 days I haven't opened that door at all. I live alone. Last night I woke up around 2:00 a.m. to adjust the t-stat in my hallway. I look down the hall at his room, the door is closed, but I kid you not the ceiling light is on in his room. To see his door closed and the light on freaked me out but I immediately opened the door and flipped the light switch to off, closed the door. Needless to say it was hard to go back to sleep. This light has never come on by itself. My locks have been changed so my son did not come in the house... It was bizarre. Then today I realized it was exactly the 10 year anniversary of my oldest brothers death. He died from cancer. We became very close before he died and my son reminds me a lot of him. Not sure if the light was just a fluke but my lord, what a crazy week - my emotions are all over the place. Then I see my son posted a video today on Facebook titled "When you finally tell your parents off" and it's a kid screaming f-you and obscenities to his mother. And in another post right after that one he is calling the person in the video a f***tard (it's a girl trying to pierce her ear with a hole punch). I swear I did not raise my son to be so rude and disrespectful. His other posts are all pot/cannabis related pics. I'm so proud of him (Not!). He has not made any attempts to contact me and since he hung up on me last phone call, I will not make any attempts to call or text him. No presents for him for Xmas that's for sure!