Nature
Active Member
My week had to be the most horrendous I've experienced in my life...when previously I thought things couldn't be worse like the time I had to have my son physically removed from my home by the police. He was experiencing psychosis from his drug/mental issues and I was in fear of my life. In a nutshell, the police had to break down my door in order to get him. I thought he would finally get the help he needed. He was eventually placed in a recovery facility for 8 months but was asked to leave recently when it became apparent he was probably using again.
This week: Son (28 yrs) was arrested for breach of his conditions (not sure of the circumstances) as we still have no contact order.
His father whom has since remarried and uninvolved in his life since the age of 14 bailed him out and son went to first his home (he called me every day with stories of his behavior and said he can't live with him.) I of course knew exactly what he was going through and could sympathize. He gave him a choice to go to Detox ( lasted less than 24 hrs and my son bailed)
He was on the streets for 4 days and today he readmitted himself into a Rehab less than an hour ago. My heart aches and I can barely breathe as I'm praying time on the streets and that no one was willing to step up and allow him to crash at their place was what was needed.
Let me back track for a moment and apologies for the long post but I'm unable to confide in anyone at this time except my partner who has been supportive.
Monday: Found out sister has stage 4 cancer after being misdiagnosed with other ailments for the past 2 years.
Tues: Son is picked up for Breach
Wed: Sister calls me and informs me Mothers House- our family home is being repossessed due to Insurance on home being cancelled as Hoarder Brother lives with my 85 year old mom. Fire Marshall has imposed numerous fines over the years to no avail. Brother still hordes even after city has cleaned up property and fined my mom 6,000 dollars each time. Bank sends letter they will pull the mortgage as she no longer has insurance. House will have to be put up for sale. Leaving my 85 year old mom with partial dementia and double hip replacements homeless. She had taken the majority of her home equity out (reverse mortgage) and unable to pay it back so monies left will be very little. She had been supporting my sister for the past 2 years as my sister had been unable to work.
Wed: Son was in jail
Thursday. Son's dad bails him out and allows him to live with him (did not think this would go well as dad married his ex best friend's wife and lives with her and her three children). Dad had called my son rarely and has never contacted his older brother even tho we were together for 17 years starting when my oldest was only 3) I did not dwell on the past as was trying to be as helpful as possible as I was praying it would work out.
It lasted 4 days and son was placed in Detox.
My son was on the streets for four days, no phone, ....T my son called every relative from borrowed phones and even had my sister with stage 4 cancer and my disabled mom in her walker drive 2 hrs from out of town to pick him up (he didn't show and they waited in the car for over 2 hours). Begged my sister to please not to send him monies again (as she had) nor come to his rescue again unless she speaks to me. I had to very gently inform them and his dad that helping him was not really helping him. He needed to be told that the only help available was Detox or Rehab and it was up to him. Occasional garbled messages sent from T who was very stoned on Meth...crying, begging for help, and if refused money (not the kind of help wanted to give) horrible rants . Told everyone , YES I KNOW ITS HARD!!! Toughest thing you'll have to do but do it in order to save his life so he seeks help. PLEASE.
Oldest son's dad whom I not heard from in years but do have a good relationship with calls me and ask if I've heard from B. My oldest is a good kid who has High Functioning Autism, bought his own place and has a good job. He said unlike B not to return calls and he hasn't heard from him in two days. I call and not successful either. I now feel that I can't take anymore bad news and can barely breathe.
B calls me back several hours later and his dad too and says his phone was not working. Gasp!
T admitted himself to recovery less than an hour ago and I pray with all my might that he stays. Thank you for listening to my long rambling and allow me to get it off my chest.
I have to stay strong in order to help my sister and mom.
This week: Son (28 yrs) was arrested for breach of his conditions (not sure of the circumstances) as we still have no contact order.
His father whom has since remarried and uninvolved in his life since the age of 14 bailed him out and son went to first his home (he called me every day with stories of his behavior and said he can't live with him.) I of course knew exactly what he was going through and could sympathize. He gave him a choice to go to Detox ( lasted less than 24 hrs and my son bailed)
He was on the streets for 4 days and today he readmitted himself into a Rehab less than an hour ago. My heart aches and I can barely breathe as I'm praying time on the streets and that no one was willing to step up and allow him to crash at their place was what was needed.
Let me back track for a moment and apologies for the long post but I'm unable to confide in anyone at this time except my partner who has been supportive.
Monday: Found out sister has stage 4 cancer after being misdiagnosed with other ailments for the past 2 years.
Tues: Son is picked up for Breach
Wed: Sister calls me and informs me Mothers House- our family home is being repossessed due to Insurance on home being cancelled as Hoarder Brother lives with my 85 year old mom. Fire Marshall has imposed numerous fines over the years to no avail. Brother still hordes even after city has cleaned up property and fined my mom 6,000 dollars each time. Bank sends letter they will pull the mortgage as she no longer has insurance. House will have to be put up for sale. Leaving my 85 year old mom with partial dementia and double hip replacements homeless. She had taken the majority of her home equity out (reverse mortgage) and unable to pay it back so monies left will be very little. She had been supporting my sister for the past 2 years as my sister had been unable to work.
Wed: Son was in jail
Thursday. Son's dad bails him out and allows him to live with him (did not think this would go well as dad married his ex best friend's wife and lives with her and her three children). Dad had called my son rarely and has never contacted his older brother even tho we were together for 17 years starting when my oldest was only 3) I did not dwell on the past as was trying to be as helpful as possible as I was praying it would work out.
It lasted 4 days and son was placed in Detox.
My son was on the streets for four days, no phone, ....T my son called every relative from borrowed phones and even had my sister with stage 4 cancer and my disabled mom in her walker drive 2 hrs from out of town to pick him up (he didn't show and they waited in the car for over 2 hours). Begged my sister to please not to send him monies again (as she had) nor come to his rescue again unless she speaks to me. I had to very gently inform them and his dad that helping him was not really helping him. He needed to be told that the only help available was Detox or Rehab and it was up to him. Occasional garbled messages sent from T who was very stoned on Meth...crying, begging for help, and if refused money (not the kind of help wanted to give) horrible rants . Told everyone , YES I KNOW ITS HARD!!! Toughest thing you'll have to do but do it in order to save his life so he seeks help. PLEASE.
Oldest son's dad whom I not heard from in years but do have a good relationship with calls me and ask if I've heard from B. My oldest is a good kid who has High Functioning Autism, bought his own place and has a good job. He said unlike B not to return calls and he hasn't heard from him in two days. I call and not successful either. I now feel that I can't take anymore bad news and can barely breathe.
B calls me back several hours later and his dad too and says his phone was not working. Gasp!
T admitted himself to recovery less than an hour ago and I pray with all my might that he stays. Thank you for listening to my long rambling and allow me to get it off my chest.
I have to stay strong in order to help my sister and mom.