natural consequences

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by lmf64, Nov 1, 2012.

  1. lmf64

    lmf64 New Member

    This morning I wasn't home to send difficult child out the door. He left without wearing a coat. It was about 30 degrees. He called me about 45 minutes after he leaves asking me to bring him a coat. I told him I wasn't coming to town, that I had my hands full and wouldn't be bringing him a coat I told him if he was cold he should work a little harder. He called me a couple more times and got the same answer. I posted on Facebook that natural consequences were kicking in and explained what was going on. A few friends posted positive things. We even got into a discussion of how it's always mom's fault. Anyway, my mom posts to be careful or I'd set him off. and my dad posts to think carefully if I wasn't home when he left I certainly wasn't in town for him. They don't seem to get it. He's 18. It was above 0. He's lived in MN his entire life and should know that November in MN means you wear a coat. I know when I was a kid there is no way I could have gotten away with calling for a coat (or anything) and expecting it to be brought, and yet my parents think I should drop everything and drive 15 miles (round trip) to take a coat to an 18 year old man. He wasn't going to be hurt by being a little cold. And I'd be willing to bet he won't leave without his coat again.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Love love love natural consequences. :) (regardless of age, best lessons in the world)
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    You got that right. By that age, he should know our weather patterns. If he has ANY brains, he will have learned his lesson.

    Isn't it funny how the rules and expectations change from generation to generation. My mom is just the opposite. She forgets that there are stricter child abuse laws now than when I was young. Her style of discipline is considered abuse these days.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Even a 12 year old "should" know better - but there's a bit of allowance at that age for extreme immaturity.
    But 18?! NOPE. Not even me (and I'm a real softie).
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I've done that too. A couple of years ago it depended on the situation. If he forgot shoes or got clothes wet and it meant total sensory devastation for the day it wasn't worth it, but a coat for a bus ride ...or.gloves, no. Now I wont go bring him things.
    During transitions, je sometimes forgets but other times gets stuck. He can feel the weather so usually comes back to get his coat....but........
    Impulsivivity and or getting stuck on the current thought ( gotta get on the bus because. I see it ) do interfere even if he knows abt dressing appropriately for weather. But this is one time for us that natural consequences do help. If he leaves, oh well.....
    Great sticking to your guns. He needs that at his age.