Tiapet
Old Hand
Ok I've called my meeting for Friday. I'm waiting on word if the district behavior specialist will be there or not, I did request that he be there for this one. The reason being is that at the end of the year last year he participated in a meeting in which we had been trying to show the school how forcing difficult child to do homework was only causing an endless battle that was a complete loss at home (and usually ended in rage and or violence). No work ever got done. Not only that but difficult child knows the material and any classwork that is skill and drill type (repetitive stuff) he will shut down and not do either. The specialist sat at the meeting and said right to them why demand homework from him if he can demonstrate through tests and quizes, etc that he knows the material? Why have all this skill drill too? School wouldn't back down on demanding it no how.
So additionally we have issues with 2 people. 1 is his math teacher who is issuing the skill and drill work as well as getting on him all the time (though he is not talking back necessarily all the time at a level that has gotten him in trouble at all, or perhaps he's not even doing it or I believe I'd have heard about it like I did once in the beginning of the year). He gets extremely frustrated with it. He also doesn't like to "show" his work and they are demanding he do such (I don't understand this concept either as they are allowed to use calculators and this is a child that hates writing also has great difficulty with it, hence they gave him an alpha board to use for writing). The other teacher doesn't "teach" him but it is his SPED case manager who oversees him at school. He has to check in with him in the morning and then again in the afternoon.
This is where the problem really is in a big way. The Sped teacher a month into school (may have actually started sooner but on paper we know for fact) wrote him up for "disrespecting" her because she asked him to get out his folder so she could go through it and he said "let's not and say we did"! She said she will not be talked to like that. Well that started the ball rolling on bad terms with her and difficult child and it just got worse through out the year between them. I'm sure she has not been speaking nicely too him (contrary to what she is saying) and it seems at every opportunity she is on him. I get that her job was to help him but we've tried to show her and tell her how to best work with him, where he needs the help but she is doing it in her own way and at times not even complying with it Not even things SHE herself set up to do. As I said, there have been many run ins with her and just recently she wrote him up again. This time for disrespect again and yelling at her. Well it got to yelling because she refused to listen to him and then touched his things, which is a big no no. I know school has a right to go to the kids locker but in this case it wasn't a search for anything bad, she was simply searching for papers that he was clearly telling her weren't in his locker and she refused to listen to him that they weren't even there.
I guess what I'm searching for is how to best proceed with this meeting. I need to show that his behaviors have escalated through the year do to manifestation of his illness due to the fact that refused to listen to us about his needs (to put it in the simplistic form i can). They refused to acknowledge or comply with the requests we made on what was necessary to best help him make it through the year. Due to that early in the year things started happening and keep escalating, he started shutting down and it all went down hill from there. Not only behaviors but his grades. The progress reports that are part of IEP and come with his report cards. On them it clearly shows he wasn't making progress on the goals yet they didn't seem to care about it, even when I went back to IEP meetings and tried to adjust some things and told them what kind of help he needed.
Now he's failing, since shortly after school began he hasn't wanted to go to school and now it's gotten to the point that getting him TO school is nearly impossible so absences are going to be a problem if it doesn't stop. Everyone is on me. They are taking issue with everything with him, not just his grades but everything. If they had just listened to me we would not be in this situation with him but they refused. He would not be fighting going to school so badly as he is if it weren't for these 2 teachers, the 1 more so as she is the worst on him. Yes, he has bullying issues but that is even overshadowed compared to what has been going on.
I have emails from the year. I'm going to take them in. I'm going to take in the progress reports, I'm going to take in the weekly progress reports that finally just started happening recently (and of those, the Sped didn't even start it when she said she would initially for 3 weeks, then went another 3 weeks sending them only to his MH case manager and not me- who NEEDED them to help keep up on the work the whole purpose of them).
I'm just wondering what I need to build a strong case to get them to see what went wrong as they are trying to throw all of this on my difficult child entirely...his choices, his behavior and that is not the case. They are at fault 80% and then he is at fault for "reactive" behaviors for their lack of doing. I need to do this so they help him and perhaps we can actually get him to pass this year or else he will have to spend summer/next year in a school he hates and it will self perpetuate again for no reason when we know he is capable of A's/B's if they'd only listen. I also need this to be able to build his IEP for the transition to HS. If I can't get them to see this now and accept it, I won't be able to get them to going forward.
Maybe I didn't explain it well and there is other pieces but this is the main nutshell. I'm really open to questions so please ask whatever you need to know to best help yourself help me get this case presented in the best light friday so they don't walk all over me.
Thanks
So additionally we have issues with 2 people. 1 is his math teacher who is issuing the skill and drill work as well as getting on him all the time (though he is not talking back necessarily all the time at a level that has gotten him in trouble at all, or perhaps he's not even doing it or I believe I'd have heard about it like I did once in the beginning of the year). He gets extremely frustrated with it. He also doesn't like to "show" his work and they are demanding he do such (I don't understand this concept either as they are allowed to use calculators and this is a child that hates writing also has great difficulty with it, hence they gave him an alpha board to use for writing). The other teacher doesn't "teach" him but it is his SPED case manager who oversees him at school. He has to check in with him in the morning and then again in the afternoon.
This is where the problem really is in a big way. The Sped teacher a month into school (may have actually started sooner but on paper we know for fact) wrote him up for "disrespecting" her because she asked him to get out his folder so she could go through it and he said "let's not and say we did"! She said she will not be talked to like that. Well that started the ball rolling on bad terms with her and difficult child and it just got worse through out the year between them. I'm sure she has not been speaking nicely too him (contrary to what she is saying) and it seems at every opportunity she is on him. I get that her job was to help him but we've tried to show her and tell her how to best work with him, where he needs the help but she is doing it in her own way and at times not even complying with it Not even things SHE herself set up to do. As I said, there have been many run ins with her and just recently she wrote him up again. This time for disrespect again and yelling at her. Well it got to yelling because she refused to listen to him and then touched his things, which is a big no no. I know school has a right to go to the kids locker but in this case it wasn't a search for anything bad, she was simply searching for papers that he was clearly telling her weren't in his locker and she refused to listen to him that they weren't even there.
I guess what I'm searching for is how to best proceed with this meeting. I need to show that his behaviors have escalated through the year do to manifestation of his illness due to the fact that refused to listen to us about his needs (to put it in the simplistic form i can). They refused to acknowledge or comply with the requests we made on what was necessary to best help him make it through the year. Due to that early in the year things started happening and keep escalating, he started shutting down and it all went down hill from there. Not only behaviors but his grades. The progress reports that are part of IEP and come with his report cards. On them it clearly shows he wasn't making progress on the goals yet they didn't seem to care about it, even when I went back to IEP meetings and tried to adjust some things and told them what kind of help he needed.
Now he's failing, since shortly after school began he hasn't wanted to go to school and now it's gotten to the point that getting him TO school is nearly impossible so absences are going to be a problem if it doesn't stop. Everyone is on me. They are taking issue with everything with him, not just his grades but everything. If they had just listened to me we would not be in this situation with him but they refused. He would not be fighting going to school so badly as he is if it weren't for these 2 teachers, the 1 more so as she is the worst on him. Yes, he has bullying issues but that is even overshadowed compared to what has been going on.
I have emails from the year. I'm going to take them in. I'm going to take in the progress reports, I'm going to take in the weekly progress reports that finally just started happening recently (and of those, the Sped didn't even start it when she said she would initially for 3 weeks, then went another 3 weeks sending them only to his MH case manager and not me- who NEEDED them to help keep up on the work the whole purpose of them).
I'm just wondering what I need to build a strong case to get them to see what went wrong as they are trying to throw all of this on my difficult child entirely...his choices, his behavior and that is not the case. They are at fault 80% and then he is at fault for "reactive" behaviors for their lack of doing. I need to do this so they help him and perhaps we can actually get him to pass this year or else he will have to spend summer/next year in a school he hates and it will self perpetuate again for no reason when we know he is capable of A's/B's if they'd only listen. I also need this to be able to build his IEP for the transition to HS. If I can't get them to see this now and accept it, I won't be able to get them to going forward.
Maybe I didn't explain it well and there is other pieces but this is the main nutshell. I'm really open to questions so please ask whatever you need to know to best help yourself help me get this case presented in the best light friday so they don't walk all over me.
Thanks