Nervous/husband

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tonime, Aug 19, 2008.

  1. tonime

    tonime toni

    difficult child has now been on nothing for 2 days. Today is day 3. His mood is ok- first day he was a little negative- then he was okay. Yesterday, I noticed a lot of ticking-motor and I think vocal. I hope this calms down. Today, he seems better with it. I gave him some schoolwork to do--but he is all over the place--SO unfocused. I am nervous about him going back to school like this. husband first told me "I don't want him going back on medication!" This morning as difficult child was stuggling with his work- I told husband I was concerned-husband quipped "So, put him back on medication--what do you want from me?" I held myself back--I was so mad with that comment! Later, he did say just to give difficult child a chance--that it was going to take a lot of patience--and that it has only been a few days. That was such a better response for me. However, we shall see what happens-husband can be very sarcastic and not great at "support"--he sees many things as black and white. Many times I feel very alone in this situation. I am always the one communicating with the school, doing homework with difficult child, etc.--husband does nothing in that arena.
    I guess I just needed to vent.
     
  2. Needsupport

    Needsupport New Member

    I have the same issues with my husband. He leaves everything up to me to handle & then wonders why I get stressed out or if something doesn't work out right then it's my fault. He is also very sarcastic.

    Just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I'm sorry for what you're going thru.
     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    SOrry if I am not familiar with your story, but why are you removing medications?

    Did they not work?
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If he is ticking, I would want him seen to make sure he doesn't have a tick disorder, like Tourettes.I wouldn't leave that alone.
     
  5. tonime

    tonime toni

    I don't think he has a tick disorder. He has had them in the past and they come and go. Nuerologist said childhood tics are normal as long as they go away-try not to pay attention to them. I think difficult child really wants to be off medications and probably feels anxious for now without them. Today I see an improvement with the schoolwork I gave him. Still not where I would like to see it-- but there is improvement.

    As for why we are going off medications-- we would like to see how he functions without them since he has been on them since he was 4. We shall only see. Last night, he went to a pool party with the boy scouts and I talked to him before it-about being "calm"-- he tends to go over the top with excitement, etc. and other kids will back off from that. He did great-- a few times I had to go by him to tell him to bring it down a notch and he did. What I liked most was that he was not NASTY with me about it.

    If he ends up needing medications for school-- I will ask for something different than what he was on. I truly feel if difficult child is anything it is classic ADHD. Focusing and concentrating seem to be the hardest for him. However, now that he is older perhaps we can work on behaviors to help him with this.

    So far, the mornings seem to be the worst for him-without the medications- by afternoon-he seems calmer.
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhh, I hear you!

    My husband and difficult child are going by themselves to the next few psychiatrist appts. I've had it.

    Sorry, don't know if that was supportive, but at least you're in good company.
     
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That is great that he is trying to stay focused and calm!

    Be aware that all that trying all day can really take a toll. When he is at school make sure he gets some time when he gets home to let it all out.

    I think it is great what you are doing! It is always good to try new things. Even if you figure out that he needs medications, there is less guilt when you know they truly help him.
     
  8. waytootired

    waytootired New Member

    Hang in there.... This will be a good measure of his abilities to be able to cope off medications.
    We're all pulling for you!
     
  9. tonime

    tonime toni

    Thanks- been trying to hang in there--but I can lose my patience easily sometimes!
     
  10. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    My husband does the same thing. I make all the decisions about medications and treatment. Then if it doesn't go well he can tell me he never wanted to do it in the first place. Ugh!

    Hope difficult child does well off his medications, and that your patience holds out!

    Linda
     
  11. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    As far as husband's being critical, I suggest that if husband doesn't like what I'm doing that he can come up with a better plan, execute it and I will take the back seat. Usually that's enough for husband to wake up and smell the coffee.
     
  12. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    What Fran said.

    Let him take over.
     
  13. tonime

    tonime toni

    OMG--it is like you guys are inside my head! That is basically what I told husband in a round-about way. However, he has been more supportive- like this morning- he told me to give difficult child a chance--it takes awhile--see what happens in school. I do know that we both love him and want the best for him. husband does help out a lot when I need him. I can't complain too much. It gets frustrating sometimes.

    difficult child is doing better, today is day number 4- no medications. Did his work slightly quicker today. I tried a lot of "positive" encouragement-- like "see you got that page done quickly-- you got all of them right! what a smart kid!" that totally helped him along. However, I do see him struggling. Only time will tell.

    One day at a time!!
     
  14. nvts

    nvts Active Member


    Oh yes you can! That's why we're all here - we can complain as much as we want to each other! ;)

    Beth
     
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