I am not an expert in this area but I have been a CD member for way too many years and I have done State work with kids who were adopted or placed in foster adopt homes. I know for a fact that once you have well established that you have a severely damaged child the "system" is often not prepared to offer alternative placement. It is a financial decision on their part and does not fully address the danger to others in the home or the well being of siblings. Although it sounds unkind (believe me I am not that!) I firmly believe you have to save the family unit. Severe disorders are, in my humble opinion, like a lethal physical disease...it spreads thru the family unit and beyond and results in multiple generations of dysfunction. You apparently have done everything you could do to create a supportive loving family. It hasn't worked and it is not your fault. You probably need legal counsel to protect yourself and the others but I don't think you need to keep hoping for the best. Statistically the best does not work out for a full family unit when one member is so damaged and damaging. I am sorry you are faced with such heartbreaking circumstances. Hugs. DDD