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Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 2tired2fight, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. 2tired2fight

    2tired2fight New Member

    I am writing for support. I have an angry 15 year old boy. I thought we were making progress and today a major meltdown. He was asked to clean his room since yesterday, today I gave him until noon. At 12:45 there was progress but still garbage and dishes etc and 2 friends in there with- him . I told him enough is enough and sent kids home.Argued over room then I took tv,and cell away. Here comes major meltdown. Now his room is thrashed and drawers pulled out all over floor. Threatened to kill my dog and says I am a horrible mother etc etc . Not sure what to do now Do I go in there and ttake everything and again sttart ww3? I also have a 10 yr old at home and i am in the process of divorcing the 10year olds dad and don't really want to have any more extra drama. Please give some feed back I am at my wits end.
  2. MeadowLark

    MeadowLark New Member

    Hi 2tired2fight,
    I'm an oldie from years ago. Just refound my old stomping grounds!:)
    Yes, you need to put your foot down and let'em know you're the boss once more.
    We used to have a Rhino coat somewhere around here. I borrowed it and added soft lining of silk to it:) The rhino skin being tough on the outside and the silk to let us know we are still human and need lots of tlc. Since I just signed up... I'm not sure where to find it. I know someone will be along soon to help you.
    Hang in there. You're natural instincts of what to do is really te way to go.
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome 2 stressed!

    What is the house schedule for cleaning room? What are the usual expectations of room cleanliness?

    My difficult child is 15 as well. She is a slob. But, I choose not to argue this part of her upbringing. I felt there were other things I would rather be sure happened that I would argue for - like meet the parents of so called friends. Know where she was at all times. Those things I will fight to the end. Cleaning her room - not so much. I express my feelings about her room's state and why it bothers me - but it is her space and she keeps it how she likes it.

    I would say I gave up the room battle about 2 years ago. Today - literally today - my difficult child cleaned her room and moved all the furniture around on her own. I did not even ask her to. She brought all dishes out (they are still sitting on the counter - I do not expect too much!)

    The point is to pick what is really important and stick to those things. It may be the room is a big one for you. What are you willing to not fight over that you disagree about?

  4. 2tired2fight

    2tired2fight New Member

    I guess i am just trying to enforce the rules that my son and i agreed on. Everything with him is a power struggle. With me and with his teachers coaches etc. So i felt that since he agreed to it he should have to clean it not just get by on his terms. This is where I get tired. Was this important or not? But now that his room is totally demolished I want him to clean up that huge mess. If I go in there and finish it then it is really on. But do I let him call the shots?
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    :warrior: :warrior: :warrior: :warrior:

    This would be the Warrior Mom.... put this on if and when you choose to do battle!!!
  6. tracy551

    tracy551 New Member

    My sons room was always the same. clothes every where, you didn't know what color the floor was, and so on. The sad thing about it he had to share a room with his 12 year old brother (difficult child is 16). I would nag and nag didn't work. So I stopped nagging( didn't work) When I told him no one in his room until it was cleaned ( still didn't work) Until I stopped washing his clothes and he had to wear the dirty did he start at least bringing his dirty wash down. Don't know if this will work for you but try it.
    Unfortunately he is now in placement and his little brother keeps the room very clean and doesn't have a problem keeping it that way.
    good luck to you, we went thru the rages and violence for a long time.