"New" therapy idea

[Liahona]

New because difficult child 1 and therapist came up with it themselves, no Mama input at all. difficult child 1's goals are now

Happy Relations:
1. Soft Voice
2. Soft Touch
3. Soft Looks

What does this mean?
1. Soft Voice: no mean voice, no growling, or being loud.
2. Soft Touch: no hitting, no whacking with stick or anything else
3. Soft Looks: no scowling, no making mean faces or gestures
For 1, 2, and 3 do not pretend

Consequence Program:
Time Out immediately (one min per yr of age)
Apology Letter (20-30 words)
Restitution:
1 personal act of service to person
Small gift to person
Fix or replace item if broke
Do that persons chores for 2 days

So far he has had 3 instances today. The first was even before we left the tdocs building. difficult child 1 tried to say that because I put him in time out he didn't have to do the letter or restitution. I said he had to do all three, but he could pick which one of the restitutions from the chart. And I'm making him write the letter so it can be read and if it's to a child who can't read he has to read it to them. Ann was delighted when he read it to her today. (And that was a hard one for him to write because he felt she deserved what he did.)

 

[Bunny]

Ann was delighted when he read it to her today. (And that was a hard one for him to write because he felt she deserved what he did.)

i hope the new idea works, but I have the same problem with my difficult child. He feels he's justified in doing things to easy child because easy child deserved them. I am trying to get it through his head that I am the parent and I am the one who makes that determination. These are the things that make me crazy.

 

[TeDo]

Was this program clearly explained so there is NO misunderstanding. Did the therapist explain that he had to do all 3 or did the therapist explain that it was only 1? I can see where there'd be problems if they agreed on one thing and you "changed the rules" by doing it differently than they agreed. It might not have been explained (summarized) by the therapist specifically enough. As for the deserving it, yea, I go through that, too. I have to remind him that he may think so but I don't and since I am the parent and am supposed to be teaching him the right things to do so he will be doing it. difficult child 1 HATES having to apologize. That alone will put him into anxiety overload.

 

[susiestar]

I wish we had had a therapist who would have explained it htis way to Wiz. maybe it would have helped.

 

[Liahona]

therapist is hoping that difficult child 1 will do this by himself. lol I'm thinking that after a few years that he will do it by himself. But this is a very good start in teaching him what he needs to do after upsetting someone after he is out of the house and all grown up.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Can you use that as a basis for what husband needs to do for difficult child 1?
It would be a wonderful opportunity to lead by example... (not sure if husband is open to that yet, though)

 

[Liahona]

No he is not open to it but I'm trying to get him to do it anyway.