Welcome. Sorry you need us, glad you found us.
If you want really specific advice on the education system and how to use it effectively, post over in the Special Education forum.
I can only help in general terms here, because things are a bit different for us.
Two bits of advice now -
1) Keep a diary on him, write down any concerns plus the good stuff. Remember the things you will want to have later. I keep mine on the computer.
2) Document EVERYTHING! When you communicate with the school, request stuff etc, do it in writing and keep a copy. If possible, give a copy to someone else associated with this at the school or education department. And if they do what they did to me - reply to my letter by ringing me up or talking to me in the corridor and NEVER replying in writing (because to do so would commit them to their action) then write a short note after your conversation, minuting what was said and including the wonderful phrase, "This is what I recall from our conversation on [date] about [the topic] in which you said you would [list what they promised to do, or recommended should happen]. If this is incorrect, please notify me in writing. If I do not hear from you in writing, I will assume my recollections are true and accurate. Thank you for your consideration in this."
Always be polite, even when you're angry. But always put it in writing, so you can keep track of what has been said or done. Over the years it can get very confusing and you WILL find educators who think it's all a waste of time and they won't want to be bothered.
Also, look up "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It really helped us. Keep an open mind about the diagnosis, be prepared to have him reassessed maybe by a neuropsychologist just to make sure noting else has been masked by this diagnosis. it happens.
Welcome aboard! If you can get your husband here as well, he will find other fathers with similar issues.
Marg