Hello everyone! I found your site last night while looking up ODD on the internet and thought a support group sounded wonderful cuz there are days I really feel lost and alone. I am a 41 year old mother of 3...two of my own and a step daughter (details in sig). I got divorced about 4 years ago and my son hasn't gotten over it or should I say moved passed it. He is bound and determined that he will live with his father when it's all said and done. He's already failed a grade once. He had to have tubes when he was in 1st grade and we originally thought that had set him behind. Last year he was put through the testing at school by the instructional support team and diagnosed as ODD. He has tutors and special classes for his academic support. We tried counseling for his 'bad' attitude, but he's too smart for that...said and did all the right things just to get out of it :/ He had calmed down for a brief while, but now he's up to his old 'tricks' again and full throttle this time. I just get so tired and frustrated I want to scream. Thankfully my 16 yr old. is a breeze to deal with...very dedicated to her school work, volunteering and very well liked by everyone she comes in contact with. She's a very passionate, kind, caring and thoughtful person. Our little 5 year old (my step daughter) is a piece of cake too really. She started kindergarten this year at a private school due to custody arrangements and so far she's very enthusiastic about it and love it. She's easy to get along with and loves to help up. She looks up to my older daughter and wants to be just like her. My husband is a good guy and knows how to value his family, but because of everything we go thorugh with my son I have basically forbidden him from disciplining and it's getting to the point of even interacting with my son at all. He has a good relationship for the most part with my daughter. There was some jealousy and tension early on in our relationship until everyone got used to each other. He is like myself and very strict person and believes in rules, guidelines and learning responsibilities. However, not that I'm perfect by a long shot, but he doesn't always go about handling things with the nicest tone. He can be very harsh/sharp with his directions and people take offense until they get to know him. The biggest problem for my children in adjusting to their step-father is that their father is the exact opposite of him and everything we believe (thus the divorce). There are no rules, direction, discipline and responsibilites at his house. Needless, to say this has cuzed a HUGE rift in my relationship with my son let alone my husband having any chance at one. My son worships the ground his father walks on. My daughter, being older, sees things with her own eyes and can tell the difference between right and wrong so it's easier for her. Anyway, that's the jist of it and I thank you for listening and I'll be happy to answer any questions. It's nice find people that can relate to our own struggles. I look forward to getting to know you and hearing your input.