News from school--did I say I wanted my life back??? hospital called re: s*x incident

[buddy]

Actually it was much better than it could have been. Mon-his more typical Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) junk but very redirectable and not agitated at all. Tues-doctor appointment threw everything off so more verbal stuff and didn't do much work. Today, teacher said was a pretty good day and even said yay! but she said the "sex" talk continued and increased. This is a totally predictable outcome because how in heck can a school "ignore" words that insult other kids and adults, no matter the intention. Of course they have to stop it as much as possible.

I am still waiting for them to do the "training" for other kids/adults about abi/autism. That was supposed to happen how long ago?

I am a little concerned, and asked them to document how much time he spends in his "office". He said he is sick of being treated like a baby and always having to be alone in his office. i dont know that it is "always" and maybe it is more right now because they are trying to let him rest more and not to push him. Trying to avoid battles. It is a hard road to navigate and i do undersand that. Just have to be aware.

The hospital patient advocate called and said that they have to do an investigation and I said that i had no desire to get this boy in trouble (if it went further that would be different, and not even in trouble because obviously he was there for a reason, but just to make sure they were helping him) and I also said I do not want Q interrogated or anything, that would be a huge disaster given that it is already on his mind and talk therapy, punishments, etc. have always increased his perseverative, compulsive behaviors.

I did write the teacher back and asked what exactly happened. She just emailed back and said that he was with the class in the morning. In the afternoon he started doing the motions he showed me with the sounds (rubbing chest and making sounds) and of course the kids laughed so naturally he had to leave the class. The whole thing is so frustrating. And as I thought of all Q has told me, it couldn't have been all done in whispers, because he showed me what the boy told him it looked like. He said, he did this mom..... and that is when he showed his chest and rubbed it. (I think he did it to himself, not to Q, and that is what he is imitating)

For years I have predicted that once he knew anything about sex that it would be really hard to get him to be appropriate. If this is the beginning, I am in for it. I'm going to have to ask our home psychiatric for ideas and try to derail this.

Just s*cks.

 

[DammitJanet]

well I am pretty darned sure that if he had touched him lower Q would be touching down there at least with clothes on...dont you?

 

[buddy]

yup.... I think we all would have seen it by now. I think what he is doing is imitative not something that was done TO him.

 

[klmno]

I'm sure it is frustrating but it doesn't sound like the worst case scenario- TG! I hope the investigation gets to the bottom of it and someone finds a way to help your son thru an adjustment period- orwhatever you can call it- for understanding puberty and sex. It sounds like this is a big part of the problem since he's around other kids going thru it to.

 

[buddy]

yeah, me too klmno. I am not so worried about the investigation except to help the little boy and make sure no other kids were invloved. He is really really stuck on that stuff, and except for his continuing it, he is not STARTING teh behaviors at times when he wants attention, usually when transitoning or under stress, but once people talk to him or laugh or whatever, it goes on and on. i am so glad i had a doctor who got it. His Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation said that they (doctor and Occupational Therapist (OT)) both feel his underlying sensory and auditory processing problems need to be addressed much better so he can have more control overall. I have let this slide. I will be making the new OP arrangements tomorrow. I can't find anyone close by who works with kids with autism and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) so that they get it....and dont accidently make too big a deal out of things. Wish I had a crystal ball.

 

[klmno]

Uhmmm...that almost sounds like maybe he's doing it because he thinks this is the only way to get attention from other kids. Maybe if his teachers worked with him in a group doing things that were appropriate and fun for all of them it might help.

 

[buddy]

Uhmmm...that almost sounds like maybe he's doing it because he thinks this is the only way to get attention from other kids. Maybe if his teachers worked with him in a group doing things that were appropriate and fun for all of them it might help.

Yeah, they have six kids who's parents all signed off on being buddies with him, they know about the verbally inappropriate stuff and are being coached how to handle it and to model better behavior. I dont think it is that he thinks it is the only way, i think it is that he doesn't even have any other way at this point. And since the blurting starts just because it starts, (not always these words, there are other sounds and words that are not so totally inappropriate just interrupt things, it is all the same behavior from his point of view, but to others some words are obviously more upsetting). His verbal conversation skills are so low and he wants to interact so desperately, he just hangs on anyone who shows him attention. So once the blurt out happens, if it gets attention, he will do nothing to stop it from continuing without cues from adults. He finally has someone interacting with him. And truth is without that he doesn't have many people who are willing to interact, so he tells me all teh time he gets jealous that kids are having fun together, and many other lonely things.

 

[Hound dog]

Buddy is there the slightest chance that some of this could be ticcing behavior? Many, no a LOT of kids with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) have tourettes.......and then of course you have the whole autism thing going on where there will be tics too. I'm no expert on tourettes, even though Travis has it, but often those tics can be totally inappropriate, both verbally and non verbally......and they would be triggered by stress. So I thought I'd toss that out there for you to consider. And the kids reacting to it can also make it worse.

When Travis' hormones kicked in.......life was uhhh "interesting" for a while. My goal for him during that period was educating him that certain things weren't said and certain behaviors were always done behind closed doors.

 

[buddy]

Buddy is there the slightest chance that some of this could be ticcing behavior? Many, no a LOT of kids with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) have tourettes.......and then of course you have the whole autism thing going on where there will be tics too. I'm no expert on tourettes, even though Travis has it, but often those tics can be totally inappropriate, both verbally and non verbally......and they would be triggered by stress. So I thought I'd toss that out there for you to consider. And the kids reacting to it can also make it worse.

When Travis' hormones kicked in.......life was uhhh "interesting" for a while. My goal for him during that period was educating him that certain things weren't said and certain behaviors were always done behind closed doors.

Absolutely, whether they call it tic or just the uncontrollable blurts that happen with brain injury, yes. That is one of the main things I asked the in pt. doctor too. He said it is just the same, he can control it temporarily like iwth tourettes, but it builds and then eventually blurts out and can be worse the longer it is held in. That made sense to me becasue I have always said, if you get too controlling with him(i have tried) and dont tolerate any of it eventually he gets physical. But if you let some of the verbals just come out and let it go, then he is less stressed overall and things go much better.