Now he's in the ER

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Stress Bunny, Aug 31, 2014.

  1. Stress Bunny

    Stress Bunny Active Member

    Latest text: "I'm in the ER."

    Of course he doesn't elaborate, and of course whatever happened hasn't affected his texting abilities.

    So I asked why, and he shared that he had taken some cap off of his truck after it overheated and burned his "whole arm" with a gallon of boiling antifreeze that gysered.

    Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

    JT: it's the worst pain I've ever had.

    Two hours later . . .

    JT: Could you give me a ride to my truck? I don't want to ask Grandpa to drive in the dark or the rain.

    Me: We're over an hour away shopping for school supplies for your brother.

    JT: Ok I'll find someone then.

    Me: Can you call one of your friends? Otherwise you can get a cab.

    JT: Most of my friends went home to see their families. But I have a few.

    It feels so unnatural not dropping everything to help him out of his latest crisis. I can't help but wonder if this is going to be another prescription pain medication situation followed by time off from work and more free time to drink.

    That's a friend of his dead from drunk driving, an accident, and an ER visit in less than two weeks. He is accident prone because he is so careless and impulsive. Combine that with drinking, and I'm just worried sick about him.

    I just tired of the constant negative drama. My hubby says if we don't set boundaries, JT will ruin our health and well being.

    I know he's right, but that doesn't make it any easier.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's hard. I also agree with your husband. It can't be that bad or they would keep your son in the hospital. Sounds like calling grandpa is a backhanded threat to you. Yes, maybe he wants more pain medications.

    Enjoy your holiday, I hope. Maybe block his text messages?
  3. Stress Bunny

    Stress Bunny Active Member

    Right, the real problem is that his crappy truck broke down - the very old piece of junk he traded the much nicer one we had bought him in high school for as soon as we put the title in his name. I was just sick when he did that. The truck we got him was the exact model he wanted. But he seemed to enjoy insulting it every chance he got. It hurt me, and he knew it. That's why he said what he said. He also insults my car, and we bought it new. Just wants to get to me.

    So now, I will never give him another dime for a vehicle, repairs, or gas, or breakdowns.

    I agree that the Grandpa thing was a manipulation. He wanted us to come and be consumed with his drama.

    The more I think about it, the more I'm glad we didn't go.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You must be so sick and tired of his drama. When will he get sick and tired of it?
  5. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    SB, just thinking of you, and hoping you are having a better day today. I read this thread quickly but was immersed in my own dramatic health care crisis event with difficult child. Who would ever think?

    When I read this the first time, I smiled. You are funny and wry in the midst of a crisis. That is how they have taught us to be, right? We hear them say something, and our computer-like brains analyze and factor it in, testing for weaknesses and inaccuracies. They have taught us well, and slowly, we start to learn. Now, that type of skepticism is almost automatic. We won't know the truth from them if we EVER do hear it.

    Oh yes. I heard that one too. difficult child took 30 Lortab within about 36 hours, evidently. Then yesterday spent the day trying to get more from the Dr. She never called. Fancy that.

    Interestingly, difficult child is still going to work, even with the "incredible pain." I think he's motivated by the need to get the funds to get girlfriend out of jail, but the fact remains, he is going.

    SB, as you already know, the real problem...the "real problem"...isn't the truck or the girlfriend or the friend dying or the knife. The real problem is their diagnosis that is untreated, whether it's substance abuse or another mental illness.

    That is the real problem.

    Everything else is just details.

    Evidently, in Texas, there is a state-funded alternative to jail, the CTTC (terryforvols talks about her daughter being there on another thread). It sounds great. That is what many of our difficult children need, a forced time of treatment that is holistic. It might not do the trick, but it would be positive for them to be immersed in recovery and treatment for a long time, instead of merely incarcerated or homeless.

    One day our country will go to that instead of warehousing people who are mentally ill. It will likely be too late for many of our adult kids.

    SB, I hope you are finding peace in the midst of the maelstrom. We can find it, if we look hard enough. Warm hugs.