She is home from college for Christmas break. As usual, she has not done anything wrong or outrageous or negative. But I'm worried about her decision to see the boy's basketball game tonight at her old high school. Jumper is very private. Nobody knows how Jumper feels inside. That includes me. She just goes with the flow and does not expose her feelings. She is better at talking to other people about theirs. One thing I do know is that she has been sad about her ex-boyfriend ever since she wanted to get back with him (after breaking up with him, breaking his heart, and then suddenly wanting him back). It was very strange. She never explained why she'd broken up with such a nice boy who did anything for her. But she would not take him back when he was still grieving for her. Then suddenly she wanted HIM back as I guess she started to miss him. See, they were platonic best friends, really. No sex. Just trust me on this one. That wasn't a part of it or it would be even worse. Anyhow, after she started to miss his company and want him back, from what I can gather, she started to broach it with him, but he was scared now and eventually he told her, "I'm done." And he was done. She was broken hearted, although she was well aware that she started her own heartache, but, even so, it has been her nemesis since it happened. Since he said "I'm done" and stopped talking to her completely. She even came home to go to prom this year (he is a year behind her in school) and she saw him, without a date, but he would not make eye contact with her or say a work. Hubby and I were at Julie's house during this time. She called me hysterical begging me to come home because she was in so much anguish. Jumper NEVER does that so we went home and I talked to her and she seemed better. She listened to my "suggestion" that she not post pictures of them together on her FB and not try to call him and force him to talk to her...that she could not control him, only her reaction to him, and that she had to love herself first...she went back to college sounding and looking much better. I went to see her play basketball last weekend and did talk to a few of her very sweet friends and one told me that she is doing better, but still cares fo this boy. It's been going on five months now. But at least she is busy at college and has tons of friends there. Tonight she is going to watch her old school's boys basketball team. Her ex is on the team. I told her it was going to hurt. She said she knew. I tried later to talk more, but she told me she did not want to discuss it and I always respect her wishes, as an adult, and I backed off and am now just letting it go. There is nothing I can do to stop her. Of course, I already feel her pain and know he will do exactly what he did at prom...not speak to her. I know that her not seeing him for a few months helped heal her wound and that seeing him will be pouring salt back into the wound and her feelings for him will surface and rage again. And, since she is so private, I worry if SHE will get so distraught that she will do something to herself. But there is nothing I can do to stop it. So here I am at the computer, knowing she is getting ready to go in the bathroom. I admit I feel queasy. I need your wise advice on letting go. And before you say she makes good choices, yes, she does. She doesn't do drugs, or smoke anything, or hang with those who do. She tries hard and passeda ll her classes in school and is on her way to Criminal Justice. But she is also a very private young woman who is very in love with a very nice young man who is not going to give her another chance...and she is deliberately going to see him play basketball. After the game, all the kids mingle. Also, she will see his family, and most likely they will be cold and distant after having treated her like one of the family at one time. What do you wise ladies have to tell me so that I stop fretting over this? Last time haunts me. I was really scared. Fortunately she has a huge support system, but most of them are in LaCrosse now, not here. I wish she would let it go, but I'm not in charge here and I'm not going to make a big deal out of it to her. She needs to learn her own lessons. I just hope this decision doesn't damage her. Yes, I'm being dramatic. But things were moving on. This will be a set back. So unecessary too.