Ok, so I posted Monday asking for information about budgeting. Guess you can all deduce accurately that I am trying to improve our financial situation with this information. I make decent money, but since July, when husband started paying child support out of his check, he has contributed nothing else financially to the budget. Occassionally, he has even had to ask me for money to get thru the week to payday. Gas prices are killing us both, but repeated attempts to talk to him about needing help, both physically and financially, have fallen on deaf ears. So, I decided to refigure our budget based solely on my income, and make changes as necessary to make it work. This is something I have been working on for at least a few months. I spent a couple hours Monday night pushing pencils with the budget info you all found for me, trying to make this all work, but the key thing I want to point out is that I have been looking to ME to correct the problem, not anyone else, tho I can certainly take issue with husband's spending habits if I try. That said, a long-time friend called last night. He owns a successful game farm that DEX and I helped him get off the ground years ago. He holds annual field trials, and for the past 3 years, has held a national championship. It falls on a weekend that husband helps his cousing butcher beef, so he can't watch difficult child, so I haven't been able to help with the hunt for the past 3 years, which is something I truly enjoy doing. The hunt is this weekend and my friend wants to borrow my banquet tables and chairs. In exchange, he'll let the kids go up and hunt for free on his land or give us some pheasants to eat, or whatever. Its what I've been able to contribute the past few years, and my hope is to keep the connection alive so that I can still be a part when difficult child-dom allows me to return. So I told my friend I'd bring the tables and chairs up. If I don't, he'd probably have DEX come get them, and that's not acceptable to me. Besides, I'm getting a free $200 hunt for our kids and however many dressed pheasants I want out of the deal. Anyway, backtrack to Monday night. husband needed gas and was out of money, so he asked me. I, myself, am dipping into what itsy bit of savings I have stashed. Knowing he had spent $15 for breakfast and lunch that day, as well as at least 2 days of the previous week, I told him I was cutting it pretty close myself, he could put 15 gallons of gas in to get him thru the week, but I really couldn't spare anything more. Then, as luck would have it, difficult child's old horse had an obstruction in her espophagus Monday night and I had to take her to the vet Tuesday or risk losing her - dipping further into my itty savings, but husband saw it as me having money and just withholding it from him... (which I guess I really kinda did). So, (sorry so long), I had an evaluation yesterday to determine if I need a root canal on a tooth. I broke it off last October but was out of dental benefits, so have babied it along until this year to get it fixed. difficult child 2 had his appointment with the behavior therapist, and somewhere in there, I needed to get a horse to the vet and the trailer had 2 flat tires, the air compressor at our house is broke, and my portable air tank went missing this summer and has never been seen again... I asked husband to bring a portable air tank from his folks' house Monday night, which he forgot. So I asked him to take off at 3:30 to help with the appts - he said he we needed the money worse than he needed to take off for those things. So I was not angry, because we do need the money, and I managed to get it all done - made my dentist at 1, fixed the trailer and made the vet at 3, and difficult child's appointment at 4. Got home at 7 and hadn't eaten a bite all day. And that's when my friend called and asked for the tables. I said I'd bring them up, and husband got upset. He said my running up and down the highway does not benefit us and is costing us our financial security. I about blew a gasket. I waited until I calmed down and tried to talk to him, but all he can seem to see is where we are RIGHT NOW. Which is I didn't have money to give to him, but I have money to buy gas to drive 45 miles to deliver tables and chairs for my friend, which, according to husband, does not benefit us (and by the way, we aren't getting any of the beef husband is helping to butcher this weekend, either). In a sort, husband is right, I've got a little bit of money, but certainly not enough to support him as he wants for the rest of this week without putting myself into the red. If I gave husband the money, he'd fill his tank and continue with his $15/day eating, which is what I can't afford, and I'd have the gas in my tank and nothing more. Heck, I usually eat a 59cent can of soup for lunch at my desk because I think its silly for me to spend any more than that. Every once in a while I'll get Subway, for 3.49.... Anyway, I just had to get this off my chest. Obviously, there's a lot I left out, but it just needed to get out. husband is a good guy. He is good with difficult child most of the time. Last night, they played Lego's. He's not worth ditching just yet, but since the new crunch of gas and rising costs related it (groceries, etc), we're going to have to work thru some issues. Just wish I knew how to get his attention besides this. Thanks for listening.