I have been married for a long time. Two decades in August of this year - YEA!!!! We made it!!!!!
husband and I both have gotten very strange propositions at times. It isn't us - neither of us sends those vibes out. Online - the relative anonymity and not having the other party there to look shocked really HAS let manners fly out the window. It even gave them a boot in the posterior as they went. A recent blog that I read was from a sports writer on a national news service asking about this - not about propositions but about the outrageous things readers had commented. Comments not just about his lack of intelligence, but that he should be shot or set on fire or otherwise folded, spindled and mutilated simply because they didn't agree with what he wrote.
He tracked down 3 of them and called them. In one case the writer was still in college and living with his mother. The writer asked his mother about it - if she was aware that he said things like that, if that was his general personality and reaction to the world, etc... Mom was not just appalled, she was FURIOUS. Words to the extent of I am paying for that internet and it may not work for much longer if he thinks he can use it for that, etc... The young man himself got on the phone unaware that mom had spoken with the writer - and was HORRIFIED to be speaking to someone he said should be killed because of an article about sports.
Every single respondent that the writer contacted was super apologetic, did not want the writer to think they were "really like that" and said they got "carried away". So often I see responses like this to articles and blogs online. We seem to forget that WE are real people and we are speaking to REAL PEOPLE when we post things online. We are not talking to a computer or to 'the internet'.
I vividly remember driving home late on night from visiting my aunt out in the country in OH (Bethel area if anyone know of it). I stopped for gas and took month old Jessie in with me to pay. Some guy stopped me in the parking lot with an incredibly vulgar, lewd NASTY proposition - wanted me to go with him right then, with my baby, cause he liked "new mommas". I was NOT feeling attractive. I was exhausted, feeling fat and frumpy, and generally not receptive to a "hi" much less what he asked.
I actually had a hard time getting rid of him - until I said that if he didn't leave I was going to invest in a dollars worth of gas and a dollar lighter and apply both of them to his pitiful, disease ridden crotch.
Then he was INSULTED!! The entire situation was more than I could comprehend. I went back into the store and got a chocolate bar for the drive home. It seemed the only possible response.
husband occasionally finds himself cornered by some woman. He is oblivious to anything other than platonic friendships from them until they get really blatant (I find it hilarious and highly entertaining to watch, simply because he truly is oblivious to it until they go way too far!) and then he just wants to escape. Usually the ones who get really interested are scoping out the children's section of a bookstore or shop. They see him looking at kid stuff, with or with-o a child, and they pick him because he would be "such a great dad". Most are single moms, at least half don't realize he is shopping as much for himself as a kid, and at least 2.3 do not care that he is married. About 1/3 do not care that I am in the store - until I walk up. Those are the ones who try to befriend ME - some even ask if I would meet them for coffee sometime.
They are shocked and HURT when I tell them that I don't make friends with people who proposition married men - esp not MY married man! They are the ones who don't suddenly recall something that they need to look at in another area. These women have actually tried to accuse me of having a dirty mind - after they have given every come-on learned in jr high except for the "bend and snap" from that Legally Blonde movie! The "hurt and misunderstood" act usually ends in a huff when I laugh at them.
I don't know why men think they are complimenting us when they proposition us for no strings physical encounters. Esp when they are crude and vulgar about it. Who WOULD want that (other than my bipolar hypersexual addicted exSIL?). Gee, I guess I answered that - the people who want what the nasty guys are proposing are just as sick and nasty as they are.
I am sorry you have had to deal with that. Youa re not alone. Women ARE as bag as men, and often are far worse when speakign with other women. I have several friends who have told me I am the only woman they know who hasn't offered to fix them up. I think other women are pushy with women for a couple of reasons. If they are insecure about their spouse/partner then they want the only woemn intheir world to be happily involved - then their men cannot stray. Or they are uncomfortable about their own activities and want you to do the same things because if YOU do it then it MUST be fine for them to do it also. (Cause you are sucha great person that if you slept around all the women are sleeping around.)
Very very rarely it is because a woman is so happy with her relationship that she wants you to be as happy with someone as she has. I find this stage is very short - and usually a sign that the woman has some pretty major doubts about her relationship and the partner she has chosen.
People are weirder than anyone else.
