Hi Everyone,
To Answer
slsh :
Does your daughter need supervision or can she live independently?
daughter, can live on her own to a point. But we would still have to check on her each day, to make sure she did turn off the stove or oven, blow out candles and so forth. Also we would still have to make sure she remember to take her medications at the right time. So she can live on her own at a point, but yet she still need a eye on her to a point, is why my parents fixed the full basement into apartment. Everything she needs is down there, except for a bathroom. (concert floors before they bought the house, can't seam we can get a bathroom put in.) So she still have to go upstairs to the bathroom. So the answer is she can live independently, but with some supervision most to make sure she turns off things and take medications on time.
Is she able to take medications independently?
She can take medications, we just have to call her on the time it needs to be taken, or her GP yell down to her and let her know it is time to take. For a while we tried the Note system. Were we place a note on doors, around her place to remind her. But after they were up for a while, it was like a picture on the wall, that you don't look at all the time.
Is she able to cook?
She is a wonderful cook. But we are still teaching and also have to explain what goes into a dish, and repeat all the time. But she also cooks like we Italians do, with out a recipe, just throw a dish together and call it your own. But she cooks simple foods, for one person. But we still have to call and remind her to look at the stove to turn it off. There is times she takes the food from the pan with oil and forget to turn off the fire. I retrained her a lot of things and helped her put them back into long term memory. We still work on that at times. There is one thing I have her doing is carry a notebook or leave it in kitchen on table. What that is for is to write down what she just used and throw away the package. It helps with when she needs to go to the store. boy, does it help so much. With reminders and going over the same thing, over and over, she is able to cook her own meals. For a while at the beginning we made her call us before she started to cook. She told us what she was cooking. From there, we figure how long it took to cook, what she was cooking. Then one of us would call her and asked her to go back to the stove and check all knobs and turn off the ones that are on. Now with the reminders and going over the same thing, over and over, she does very well. But we still have to remind her at times to check the stove or oven. So when her GP smell her cooking something, they will wait a while and yell down at her to see what she cooked. They then ask if she turned off the stove. This way, she feels she is doing more on her own. Some times mom will ask if there is any left overs, she would like some. LOL
Is she able to clean
Yes, she is able to clean. But has to stop and rest every so often. If she is on her leg to much or bending over to much, it cause her a lot of pain and swelling. So it takes her some time to clean. Also, I write up a list each week and post it on the fridge, so she can over each day, do what is needed and mark it off. Then she has a list upstairs as well, it sits on the bar. Mom writes it up, and she does that list. That list is for her rent to be paid. She pays no rent to live there, but she has to help her GM around the house. (Dusting, sweeping, Mopping, taking out trash and so forth) So yes, she can clean, she just have to take her time at it.
safely?
Sorry, I don't know what you where asking here. If you explain more, I will answer you.
Does she receive any supportive services through the state in terms of employment or activities during the day?
In this state she can't receive any type of supportive services as in activities, because she is not receiving SSI or SS. She is still fighting for it, as someone has said, "they don't understand why she has not received SSI or SS". she is still fighting for it, because she was at a time still going to school. Then when she tried to work, that was another reason they denied her. (school as in college, you can't tell your kid she can't go. You give them all reason she can. Until she prove to herself she is not able to do it)
Also, they state because she has a rod is no reason she can't work. But then they did not look at her other problems. So that is when we got a lawyer and now they are on our side. Her next hearing is in April.
For employment,
Her dr's won't allow her to work. She can't work that requires her to stand long. So she did find her a wonderful job with wonderful pay with sitting down, but that caused her so much problems with her legs that put her in the hospital over and over. Her leg would swell 3 times it size with in 1 hour. Once they called a ambulance to transport her to the hospital, she could not stand or walk. Also with the memory problems keeps her from working.
It caused her so much problems as well. She could not remember what she was told to do, or what she needed to do. Also she forget things, when people called and so on. So the Dr's said no more working.
Help from DHR:
I was able to get her help with medical bills and food stamps. She does get food stamps and a Medicaid disable Card from the DHHR . It pays for all Dr visit and Hospital care, it pays for most medications. But we still have to pay the difference of the cost of the medications. That is all she is able to receive from the state help.
Where do you see your daughter living in 5 years, 10 years, after your death?
I am praying she find a wonderful man, that will take care of her and support her. That is where I see my daughter. When this happens, she will live with him in their own place. Then that will release us from having to worry and care for her each day so much. Also, she would love to have a baby. So we pray, she will have a wonderful man with the support she will need and get her wish. Also, if need to be her brother would help her out to a point, as we do. He already stated that. He loves her dearly and has a heart of gold. He has been there ever min, since she was able to come home 7 months after she was hit by the car. We have the support behind us, if need to call on them.
To MidwestMom:
Thank you for the apology!
I do know of the alternative living arrangements and assisted living. We have a niece that will be put in one arrangement when her mother pass away. But they live 100 miles from us, in a bigger city that has the resources to do that. Here were we are is very small. The population was 406 at the 2000 census. It is back in the country, there are cows on two sides of us, pigs just 1/4 mile up the road. donkies, sheep, Horse farm just about a 1/4 mile down the road. I am laughing at this, I never thought of how many farms, or different animals that we live around. There are also goats close by and lots and lots of chickens. So yeap, we live in the country around lots of farms.
daughter and GP only live around 6 miles up the road from us. I am there every day, checking on things and doing things I need to do. We place our daughter there, to help me out and also help my mother. I don't have to run around with my head cut off trying to get things done each day. It is all in one place. Also when my mother needs help, daughter can help her at a point. (like when I was out of town with my dad. My mother fall in the hallway. We where lucky daughter was there at the time, she was able to call for help and get help there ASAP. (even though help was our son.) ) They same if something goes wrong with daughter, the parents can call me.
So with her being there, it helps everyone. Most the time the GP don't have a problem out of daughter. But my BS moved back in our parents house 6 months ago and started problems between them with her lies and laziness. We only have 4 weeks left for her to move out ( BS also in early 20's, married with a 5 year child).
So anyway, this is a way to get her on her own as much as we can. We have listen to the DR's and done what they said to do. With the notes, reminders, putting her on her own as much as we can, with out dangering her life. We asked the dr's if what we were doing was ok, they were all for it. It gives her, her own place to take care of. But yet with some support behind her close by. She has her own outside door to go out and come in. Also she has stairs to upstairs to run to bathroom or go upstairs. But the Upstairs door has a lock on her side to lock the door when she wants to.
So yes, we are working on her being on her own. But it is at a slow pace.
Now for one question no one asked:
Anything our daughter learned from birth up to 15 min before she was hit by the car, she remembers. Anything after that point gives her problems. So she was hit by a car (was on bike) after she started learning to drive. Also she was almost out of high school when it happened. She knew how to take care of herself. But she forgot to brush teeth, brush hair, put on deodorant, and so on. She even at times forgot to put on her bra. So that is when we started the note system. After she returned home 7 months later, I did what the dr's said to do. There were a note on her bedroom door, for grab your home work and books to take back to school, put on bra before you leave for school, and so forth. There was a not going down the hallway, telling her what she had to do after school, like home work, cleaning room and so forth. In the bathroom, there were two notes (of the same thing) one on the back of the door, so she see it as she got out of the shower and the other one she see on Mirror if the door is open already. To tell her to brash hair, clean teeth, and so forth. It worked out for a long time, and a lot of it after reading and doing every day put it back into the long term memory. So it did work, and we still work at that to get more information back there to stay.
Ok, for her driving: She remember how to get to places we always went to. For her to go to new places, I would drive her the first few times. Then I have her to get behind the driving seat and she drives herself with me in the car a few times or so. Also she has the cell phone to call home when needs to (or call me on cell). This has worked, just a few times she called crying and is lost. I then would ask where she was going. I asked her to tell me what she can remember before she got to where she was. Then I would call the city police or county police of the area she is to be in. I explain what is going on and they would send cars out looking for her. With that happening, she is to turn on em. lights, lock the doors and stay on the phone with me. When the police finds her, they would not walk up to her until they called me back and tell me they think they have her. Then I would ask our daughter if a City or county police sitting behind her. If so, I tell them to go right ahead and walk up to the car, that it should be her. It always was her, they would get her turned around. Explain to her where she is, and how to get back home or to where she is going. Then they explain to me the same thing. I then check with her ever so min, to make sure she is ok, and in the right place. Most the time she does good. That has only happen maybe 3 times, In the last 6 years.
Well, now I think I answer all the question. Also I did a signature line (hope it works). So I think I am finish here for now, since I need to run and get the over the counter medications she needs before surgery Wed. (she has to do a complete system cleaning tomorrow, so she don't have anything left in her. As we say.) She will be on complete liquid diet tomorrow, no solid food what so ever and I have to get her a over the counter liquid laxative that the dr wants her to take all day tomorrow. So she will be ready for the major surgery Wed. (boy isn't she going to have fun, running up stairs to the bathroom all day tomorrow.)
Well, time to clean up and enjoy the sunny day, cold but sunny.
Have a Wonderful Day