Our first weekend with the new rules...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by bran155, Nov 24, 2008.

  1. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Hello my friends. I haven't been on all weekend, I hope all is well with all of you.

    This is really an update from the (daughter is out of jail) posts. This past weekend was the first with the new rules put in place. Some of you might remember, my daughter was put into a program called T.A.S.K. and is under strict rules through them and the courts as a stipulation of her release from jail.

    She tested the limits on Friday. Her curfew is 10 pm on weekends and 9 pm on weekdays. Friday night she went out and called me around 8 to let me know that she remembered she had to be home at 10, she said she would be home on time. I reminded her she was to come home alone. She agreed. She showed up at 9:55 and I was very impressed. However, she was not alone!!! She told me she would be right back, that she had someone outside waiting for her. I was angry but figured something like this would happen. Actually I was very surprised she was on time, I really thought she would be late. Anyway, after I told her she absolutely could not leave the house she mumbled some not so nice words and walked out the door. I gave her a minute or two to come back in on her own. She didn't. So I went outside to see if she was on our porch, she wasn't. I stood outside for a minute and I heard noise on the side of the house. I look and see her there with a boy. I freaked out. I started yelling, "What the hell is going on?", I threatened the boy, if he didn't leave immediately then he would be going to jail along with my daughter. My daughter comes strolling out into the front yard, telling me to go in the house that she was going to hang out outside. I told her absolutely not. "If you do not get in the God **** house right this minute you will be going back to jail!!!!" The boy looked scared out of his mind and left as fast as he could. She ranted and raved a little bit then came in the house. We actually ended up having a really good night. We sat around and talked and laughed for a couple of hours then she went to bed.

    I really could have let her hang out on the porch, but with my daughter you can't give an inch because she will take 10 miles!!! So there will be no leeway (spelling?) given here. She needs to know that I am 100% on board with what the courts put in place for her. It actually felt good to gain some power back!!! :)

    The rest of the weekend was great. Saturday night she came home at 7:30!!!!! We hung out together again and it was really nice. Sunday she came home at 7:15, we watched the A.M.A.s and had another nice night. She is having trouble sleeping though. She kept me up until almost 3 am. I know that's not her fault, she needs her medications. I am waiting for the doctor to call me back with an appointment. It can't come soon enough!!!

    Overall, the weekend went really well, I am impressed with her ability to follow the rules. Heck she even came home early!!! I know this is just the honeymoon and there will be battles ahead. I am trying to stay positive with caution. I need to stay strong and follow through. I need to maintain my power and use the T.A.S.K program to my advantage.

    Keeping my finger's crossed!!! :)
    Lasted edited by : Nov 24, 2008
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    I just wanted to say I'm so glad you had a good weekend. Keeping my fingers crossed that the honeymoon extends indefinitely :)
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Getting your daughter out of jail - $10,000.00

    Laying down the T.A.S.K. rules? - Free

    "If you don't get in the WHAT:surprise::surprise::surprise:House?" lol. - OMWORD - PRICELESS.....

    For everything else? There's the cops. :surprise:

  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You did well! I'm glad she sees that you mean business! If you had let her slack on this it would have been sooooo hard to ever get her back on track.
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Oh you did such a GREAT job!!! No, you could not let her hang on the porch. The curfew without friends is only going to work if she is actually in the house. Too easy to sneak in friends on the porch.

    I hope your wonderful evenings together continue.

    Wonder if she is home early because that young man is too scared to give her the time of day anymore? LOL
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    GREAT JOB! Way To Go!

    I understand completely and agree completely. I need to do this with-my own difficult child:

    I really could have let her hang out on the porch, but with my daughter you can't give an inch because she will take 10 miles!!! So there will be no leeway (spelling?) given here. She needs to know that I am 100% on board with what the courts put in place for her. It actually felt good to gain some power back!!! :)
  7. Glad you had a good weekend. Way To Go with sticking to your guns about coming in the house.

  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad the weekend went well! Continued prayers.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sounds like you are off to an AWESOME start. Star phrased it excellently. And I am proud that you know that if you give her the teensiest bit of leeway, like being outside with someone, she will push at every single rule and this will end up being a horrible mess.

    It is great that you are able to have some nice times with her - write those down in a journal or somewhere to remember. Your battle isn't won yet, but it is off to a great start!
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Bran I'm sorry i'm so so late to this. I'm thrilled to hear that some normalcy has hit your home in regards to her behaviors. I"m glad to hear that she came home early and that you guys actually got to hang out and see what that feels like again.

    Being hopeful is a good thing, it's soo nice to see a post like that from you!!!

    Lots of hugs and postive thoughts for you and your daughter. :)
  11. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    You guys are so great!!! Thanks so much for all of the pats on the back and the words of encouragement. I appreciate your support more than you'll ever know!!! :)

    Star: what a great post!!! Actually it's - PRICELESS!!! LOL :)

    Last night went really well too. She came home at 8:30 and was pleasant. She and I actually watched an entire movie together. We laughed and I really enjoyed her company!!! What a switch!!! She went to bed without any problems. It is so nice to be able to be in the same room with her without all of the bottled up tension, without waiting for the fuse to blow. She is really a great kid when she wants to be.

    She has her first therapy session today. I hope she doesn't give me any problems. We will see.

    My sw is calling the Student Advocacy Board to help with finding her a school placement. The Board of Ed has been trying for a year to place her to no avail. No one wants to even interview her!!! She has been home from the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) since Feb. 08, almost an entire year has gone by and no school as of yet!!! She actually wants to be in school. She needs something to stimulate her brain and more importantly, something to do during the day. She is idle. That only makes for disaster, especially with difficult children. So, hopefully they can make some headway with the school district. I don't really blame them. They have been sending out referral packets for months but her record is horrific so it is really hard to get her placed. The home tutoring is a waste of time. She just can't sit still for long. She is too bored. And let's face it, she really isn't getting an education at my kitchen table!!! And I am not ashamed to admit it, heck I want her out of the house during the day!!! lol

    Thank you again my friends. God bless. :)

    p.s. I forget to tell you all what this crazy child of mine did. The other night it was too quiet so I went and checked on her. I walked into the bathroom to find her with a sewing needle sticking out of her chin!!! This nutty kid pierced her own chin!!! Actually, I wasn't too shocked as she has done this before. A few times. She also pierced her own tongue and her nose. She doesn't even use ice to numb it. She just sticks the needle right in!!! I have never met anyone who is as fearless as her. Pretty scary!!!
  12. luvmyottb

    luvmyottb Guest

    Wow, what a switch from last week for you and your family. So glad to hear the optimism in your post.

    I hope she realizes jail was a huge wakeup call. So happy for you, I can't imagine the relief you must feel right now and so well deserved.

    Keep it up, difficult child!:D
  13. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Good going Parent! That is what makes the differance. You think I am touph and unforgiving WAIT until the gate is kept by someone who doesn't give a wit IF you learn.
    I am pulling the same duty here. Curfew...although having threatened the one time to call the police on one adult and having sent the police looking for my son to one address the incidence of teens hanging around outside has just not been a problem.
    The first rule on the list is no swearing and no put downs here.
    Anyway...hold that line in the sand over there...and I will hold the line in the sand over here. I am tickled to review the possitive outcomes and the fresh starts that
    practical parenthood is all about. WOO! What are we doing here people? Having teens is like having flowers and fruits just bolting on a maturing tree...it is the most important time...after all the effort that preceds...to get that going strong so they do make it into and with maturity sooner or later.
    Keep it up. Eye on the ball. Point on the horizon. Steady as she goes!
  14. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    I am so happy things are going well so far and am so proud of you for making her come in--you are so right about giving them an inch. I expect deep down inside she really appreciates the firm boundaries. I am so glad for you to have some happy times with her and some relief from all the stress you've been going through. You are awesome!