thanks guys. yea i'm stressing. as soon as they said that my anxiety went up and i didnt' even know it. couldnt' sleep last night almost had a panic attack. that whole oh no i'm trapped here feeling. i talked to the nurse last night basically so she'd update the chart bulletpoint my "points" my thoughts etc. she said that would be a good idea. i said this way the dr comes in can view my thoughts and than meet with-me. so she isnt' blindsided and has time to digest.
their good here please dont' get me wrong, yet it seems as though behavioral mods in this eating disorder world mean no tv, no parents, etc. nurse told me last night they use all of that. so i just have to keep telling myself if this isnt' the place at least she's slowly getting better.
than i can either try to work with them or wait till she's well and find another plan. i want to stay here i want them to help her. they seem pliable so im praying that they listen to me as far as the taking me away thing. that's truly my only concern because i know how difficult child will react and we'll be here forever!! told nurse maybe i can step out of picture in a way that difficult child wont' notice like someone here suggested. oh mom has therapy, a meeting etc. than it'll give them 2 meals to work alone with her. without her getting what we're doing.
we'll see doctor will be here in a bit. i gotta be honest first hospitalization she was no where near as banged up as she is now. in my quiet moments it literally scares me so badly that i took two flights here with this very sick kid. it's been 8 days today and she's still all those medical words i dont' want her to be. weak heart, low blood pressure. i miss people also husband, easy child, the ability to sit with husband and unload listen to his thoughts. this truly bites.