maxeygirls
New Member
So husband has been deployed for a year. In that year I have gone out twice, once when I was pregnant with easy child to see friends at the club I've gone to for over 10 years (they had teen nights back then), and once to a Halloween party with easy child while difficult child was at my parents. I also went out of state for one weekend with easy child to try to find a vehicle for husband. It wasn't very fun. I came back to find out that my in-laws had given difficult child too much melatonin and she cried for me when my parents picked her up.
In that time I've also endured the hell all of you are familiar with; getting a diagnosis for difficult child.
That has consisted of 6 months with no idea what to do while difficult child was totally out of control followed by 6 months including 3 hospitalizations including one hundreds of miles away that included driving 6-10 hours a day with a tiny, crying easy child in the car to visit difficult child. My parents have been my main support but they are shaky at best due to their health.
I had one friend who lived by me for 6 months, she visited me each night and it helped but she moved away about 5 months ago. Far away.
Locally I have one friend with 2 easy child's under the age of 3 who is also on bedrest with another on the way, and several old friends on Facebook I have been trying to reconnect with.
The other day, an old friend from high school asked if I'd like to go to the park some time with him and his easy child. Absolutely! Well since husband and I almost divorced 2 years ago with lots of drama (I filed and ended up dating someone he was working with who turned out to have bad motives, husband dated someone and didnt tell me when we got back together, or her that we were back together, DRAMA).
Anyways, that drama is surfacing now. I discussed going to the park with 'old friend', husband tolerated the discussion, "I trust you, dont trust him, doesn't matter what you say I wont trust him, but go, I trust you" yadda yadda. I try not to hide anything from husband so he doesn't worry.
On our way to difficult child's psychiatrist yesterday I realized I've practically cut myself off from society this year because every time I mentioned going out or getting together with someone I justify why it isn't going to happen for some reason unrelated to husband not liking it. In all honesty, that is the reason I don't get together with other people.
Now here I am, faced with getting together with an old friend who happens to be male and in a relationship himself. He has a easy child not too different in age from difficult child and she needs interaction but so many people are afraid to have their kids around her.
I thought ok, the talk went ok but then when I got up this morning I had an email from husband basically guilt tripping me/trying to scare me. Comments like "I just dont trust him but I trust you", and "besides you know what would happen if you did something" were everywhere.
I feel cut off from society. Im torn between reassuring him so he won't feel stressed in a combat zone and having a life. I told him too that the next time my parents took difficult child overnight I'd be getting a sitter for easy child who FINALLY took a bottle at 8 months old. He said close to nothing and gave a warning to be careful.
Would any of you keep yourselves cut off this way? I feel like Im suffocating here. difficult child has had a hard year, easy child is only 8 months old and has been with me every second unless I was visiting difficult child during RSV season in the hospital, when she was in the car with my dad. I need a break, I need friends, I need a life!
I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind...
In that time I've also endured the hell all of you are familiar with; getting a diagnosis for difficult child.
That has consisted of 6 months with no idea what to do while difficult child was totally out of control followed by 6 months including 3 hospitalizations including one hundreds of miles away that included driving 6-10 hours a day with a tiny, crying easy child in the car to visit difficult child. My parents have been my main support but they are shaky at best due to their health.
I had one friend who lived by me for 6 months, she visited me each night and it helped but she moved away about 5 months ago. Far away.
Locally I have one friend with 2 easy child's under the age of 3 who is also on bedrest with another on the way, and several old friends on Facebook I have been trying to reconnect with.
The other day, an old friend from high school asked if I'd like to go to the park some time with him and his easy child. Absolutely! Well since husband and I almost divorced 2 years ago with lots of drama (I filed and ended up dating someone he was working with who turned out to have bad motives, husband dated someone and didnt tell me when we got back together, or her that we were back together, DRAMA).
Anyways, that drama is surfacing now. I discussed going to the park with 'old friend', husband tolerated the discussion, "I trust you, dont trust him, doesn't matter what you say I wont trust him, but go, I trust you" yadda yadda. I try not to hide anything from husband so he doesn't worry.
On our way to difficult child's psychiatrist yesterday I realized I've practically cut myself off from society this year because every time I mentioned going out or getting together with someone I justify why it isn't going to happen for some reason unrelated to husband not liking it. In all honesty, that is the reason I don't get together with other people.
Now here I am, faced with getting together with an old friend who happens to be male and in a relationship himself. He has a easy child not too different in age from difficult child and she needs interaction but so many people are afraid to have their kids around her.
I thought ok, the talk went ok but then when I got up this morning I had an email from husband basically guilt tripping me/trying to scare me. Comments like "I just dont trust him but I trust you", and "besides you know what would happen if you did something" were everywhere.
I feel cut off from society. Im torn between reassuring him so he won't feel stressed in a combat zone and having a life. I told him too that the next time my parents took difficult child overnight I'd be getting a sitter for easy child who FINALLY took a bottle at 8 months old. He said close to nothing and gave a warning to be careful.
Would any of you keep yourselves cut off this way? I feel like Im suffocating here. difficult child has had a hard year, easy child is only 8 months old and has been with me every second unless I was visiting difficult child during RSV season in the hospital, when she was in the car with my dad. I need a break, I need friends, I need a life!
I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind...